Trip to Madison

Yesterday was Allison's 6-month check-in with the endocrinologist (wow - first time I spelled that correctly without spell-check) in Madison.  She briefly begged me to reschedule because it was pajama day at school (as if I knew that when making the appointment in JUNE). 

She continues to grow, albeit slowly.  Things they look for - BMI over 10th percentile (check), weight up (check - closing in of 50 lbs!), height up (check), growth velocity on par with the "late-bloomer" trendline (almost check).  She didn't grow as fast in the second half of the year as she did in the first.  She's still growing about 1 and a half inches per year. 

In the next few years, even if she continues to grow, her percentile will drop because her peers will hit puberty and shoot up.  We are going to stay in watch and wait mode for another 6 months (when they may repeat the bloodwork and x-rays).

Lots of fire!

 I already posted about Allison's birthday party.  On her birthday - we took cookies to school.  She wanted cookies, not the "healthy snack" options that the school recommends.  "Everybody else brings cookies, mom!" so cookies it was.  And then we made a ton of them because they were small (pillsbury take-n-bake being the only cookies I could find, other than oreos, that aren't processed on equipment that also processes nuts) and there are 34 kids in her class.  Ack.

For her birthday dinner, she shockingly chose the Japanese hibachi grill.  Onion volcano:

 She ate very well!!  Grandpa Jim and Grandma Darleen were visiting, so they enjoyed the meal along with us (and this odd group of three people who shared our hibachi table).  I spent most of the night trying to figure out their exact relationship and several minutes near the end convincing their 3-yr old that stabbing at the koi in the little tank with a fork (borrowed and then replaced from the adjoining table) wasn't a good plan.

Then it was home for cake and presents!  Allison enjoyed all her birthday gifts - dresses, caramel apples, a suitcase, a puzzle, and a button factory.

Happy birthday to the girl who is now in double digits!  That's a lot of candles!

How to bring your child to tears...

Jacob has a loose tooth (actually, several).  At Thansgiving, he lost one of his front teeth, and the loss of that tooth caused the other front tooth to migrate into the smack center of his mouth - like some crazy cyclops tooth.  Also, it hangs at kindof a goofy angle, thus giving it a very snaggle-toothed appearance.  Once the tooth found it's new home - it seemed to grow roots again and for two weeks or so got considerably LESS loose.  Totally weird.

Well, it's now getting wiggly again, and I've been trying to encourage Jacob to loosen it up and lose it - if only so that I can force him to sing the "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" song.  So, last night we decided to show Dad how wiggly the tooth was, which prompted this exchange (not the exact wording - but close):

Brian: Did you know the tooth fairy is paying double for teeth lost tonight?
Jacob: No, you're kidding
Brian: Yes, it was in the newpaper.
Jacob: Mom, is that true?
Me: (feeling at this point that this had the potential to go south - I think I nodded in agreement anyway)
Jacob: I want to see it.
Brian: No
Jacob: I want to see the newspaper where it says the toothfairy will bring double tonight!!
Brian: No
Jacob (now in tears/meltdown mode): But Daddy!!!! I want to see where it says that!!!

I settled it by telling Jacob that if he lost the tooth and the toothfairy DIDN'T leave double - that Dad would pay him instead.  Ha.

The tooth did not come out - though Jacob did allow us two chances to try and yank it.  He likes them to fall out on their own - this is probably why he's swallowed two already.

Basketball

After the birthday party yesterday, we were off to basketball.  The rules are slightly different from last year (for example, last year had no stealing at all, but this year they can intercept a pass).  However, there is still quite a bit of structure: they are assigned their "man" at the start of the quarter, and any change in possession sortof stops play for a minute while they reconfigure.... all probably typical of a developmental basketball league.  The boys are surprisingly accurate if they get a shot off.

A birthday party - Age 10!

 So - what do you do for a 10-yr old's birthday party that's NOT a sleepover??  This year - it was makeovers.  We started at the salon.

 They did hair and nails - then we went to a cafe for lunch (an inadvertently got in the middle of a piano recital - totally not our fault).

 All the girls after brunch:

 Then back to our house for presents, cupcakes, and some play time.

Allison had a blast.  Ten years.... a decade.  Wow.

Oh what a (Thursday) night!

(no, our schedules aren't all in Excel..... I'm not THAT big of a nerd.)

Know what happens tonight?

Guess what happens tonight - St. Nick comes.  Yeah - all you suckers who thought that St. Nick came on Christmas Eve were SO WRONG.  And if you miss it - your kids will come home from school tomorrow crying wanting to know why St. Nick didn't visit their house.

Oh wait, no one else lives in Wisconsin?  Well, then you're safe.  No worries.  You must not rock it old school - where the visit from Saint Nicholas is actually separated from the visit from Santa.  If you're true followers, you skip Santa all-together - put your stockings out on St. Nick's day and then simply celebrate the birth of Jesus on Christmas.  Yeah - you read that right.

Fortunately for Allison and Jacob - they are Wisconsin-raised, non-Lutheran's - which means they get to stick their shoes out on St. Nick Day AND get a visit from his jollier relative on Christmas Eve.  Lucky them. 

Another post about Christmas presents

So I'm reading this article that some parents organization or something or another (much of the article clearing sinking in) finds Lego friends Beauty Shop to be the most offensive toy of the year because it is "reinforcing sexual stereotypes with its pink blocks, gendered minifigures, and explicitly girly themes." 

Ok, you got me.  I was totally sitting around last year saying "wow, Lego is such a cool toy... we would totally buy it for our girl if it only came in pink.  Too bad she'll have to live her life without building things.  It's just not girlie enough."

Perhaps I've taken issue with gender stereotyped toys before (it's totally possible, my views on things change frequently).  None-the-less - we are raising a girlie girl.  A pink and purple, lace and jewels, dress-up in feathers girl.  And there isn't anything we can do about it.  If we only ever bought gender neutral toys for her - we'd soon have a bin of toys "glammed up" with pink and purple marker, coated in stickers, or anything else to make it "pinker."  She once tried to color Astro pink!  She would wear Sunday dresses to school everyday if she were able!

So, if a Beauty Shop is what it takes to get our daughter to take an interest in the building and creating that is Lego - So. Be. It. 

And if anyone wants to raise their kids in a gender-neutral bubble of androgynous playthings... I say have at it.  But don't throw your buckets of cold water on my girlie girl's toys. 

I'd like to add - as well - that have they considered all the boys who might also play with Lego Friends?  The inherent assumption in their argument is that Lego Friends is only for girls and we can't have our girls getting too stereotypically "girlie".  Are we reinforcing stereotypes more by forcing our girls to put down the Beauty Shop in favor of Lego Firefighters - rather than admitting that Lego Friends may have appeal to more than just the girls? 

Does China border the North Pole?

I was both laughing out loud and horrified by the conversation Jacob and I had tonight.  He was writing his Christmas wish list.  Top billing is an iPad.  Santa is not bringing an iPad.  Santa and I - we talked. 

I've been trying to dissuade the kids on the iPad issue to minimize their potential disappointment on Christmas morning.  They are true believers.  My strongest argument to date has been that Santa doesn't make iPads.  Jacob has clearly given this some thought (or talked with a friend) and replied tonight with much conviction:

"Yes he does, the Chinese elves make them!"

OMG.

Jacob

Jacob would like to direct you to his blog for a very important announcement.  I will need to rename that blog now.

They all rolled over and one fell out

I read another blog post recently about how you never notice the last time a child does something the way that you notice the first time a child does something.  The last time they write their "b" backwards; or the last time they say 'mama' before switching over to the more mature "mom" (or the last time they say "mom" without the inflective-sigh "maaahm.")

There is one thing I am simultaneously so ready and so-unready for it to be the last of - kids in my bed.  Both kids have gone through their "sleep in mom and dad's bed" phases.  Sometimes those phases have even overlapped - and back then we had Astro too.

Allison would climb between us and thrash about all night long, as though we were the interlopers and if we could please just leave HER BED, all would be better.  Sometimes we did.  But over time she stayed more and more in her own bed, and now her visits are few and far between - and I think we all sleep the better for it.  She's also a calmer sleeper now, so that when she does find us in the middle of the night - it's not so bad, and it's infrequent enough that I almost enjoy it.

Jacob's transformation was more gradual - and longer.  As a toddler newly released from the confines of the crib, he would waddle down the hallway, climb up in bed, and sleep on top of me - tummy to tummy.  As he got a little older, he would snuggle in between my arm and my side.  He is a pretty sound sleeper and there was never much moving about.  In fact, I'd often wake in the morning and wonder how long he'd been there.  And it was very cute and I thought I'd be sooo sad when he was too old to snuggle in bed.

Well, here's what happened.... he grew.  And now, he's not a pint-sized four year old who climbs almost unnoticed into the bed - he's a nearly 60 pound PERSON who stands there staring at me next to the bed until I wake up and totally jump out of my skin.  Then he climbs in bed and rests his head on my arm and it falls asleep.  And there is the mathematical challenge of three full people trying to sleep in a bed made for two.

And there will be a day when I look back in sadness to realize that he's outgrown climbing in bed with us.  But I will certainly miss toddler Jacob and not school-aged Jacob in my bed.  Until then, I may be the bear that fell out. 

Fact Checking

After turning off the kids lights on Sunday night, I returned to watching TV with Brian (so exciting.... actually it's another post to consider the amount of TV that we actually DON'T watch anymore) and grabbed my phone.  Why?  I needed to fact-check my conversation with Jacob. (which was, not shockingly, entirely accurate)

It was a lengthy conversation, so I won't recount the whole thing line by line - but we'd told the kids about Great-Grandma's death and Jacob was asking if it was ok if he told his teacher and friends (yes, of course).  I asked if he was sad about it and he said yes, but he was also sad about Harry Houdini.  Huh?  Apparently Harry Houdini died from a punch in the stomach.  Jacob told me the whole story (which I didn't know). 

Then I said something like, "well, it's OK to be sad about Great-grandma and Harry Houdini."  And then Jacob added - "and John Bradley."  Well - who the heck is John Bradley??  So I got the whole story about John Bradley, the WW2 vet and soldier who fought in Iwa Jima, and was famous for raising the flag after the battle.  And then I learned all about where he lived and what he did and how he didn't take the credit but instead gave it to all the men who died fighting.

Uh - OK.  Apparently "they read a book."  The next chapter is (LOL) Joe McCarthy.  The book is Wisconsin Hometown Heroes (a.k.a - things you don't learn in Illinois - but who around here has ever heard of Casmir Pulaski, huh???). 

So, I guess this week we'll be sad for Great-grandma, Harry Houdini, John Bradley, and Joe McCarthy.  At least Great-grandma gets to keep interesting company.

Annoyance

This is not exactly news - but newspapers are obsolete.  We get the Appleton Post Crescent delivered to our door every morning.  I actually enjoy reading a newspaper while I eat breakfast or drink coffee.  I don't buy it to be my source of news, though they do ... ok... with local coverage.  Granted, I could live with a little less GB Packers coverage.... the price we pay.

But last night was election night and we were glued to our computer screens watching returns (this is what happens when you get rid of cable).  I was, in fact, looking forward to getting the newspaper this morning to see what it said about the election.  So I was saddened to discover in the morning that our newspaper wasn't there.  And neither was the neighbor's.  By 7:30am, it hadn't been delivered.

Usually, it's there by 6:00am.  Usually, I can read up on why the school district has new standards or why Mrs. Smith is the world's best volunteer.  I get all the fluff local news I can handle and I get it first thing in the morning to enjoy with my Cheerios.

But when something actually HAPPENS, when there is actual NEWS to report and I want to read the paper to get information - well, no dice.  Perhaps they called the election too late to get to the presses on time.  Perhaps our paper-person was up late celebrating or drowning his sorrows.  Who knows?  What I do know is that I wanted NEWS this morning from my NEWSPAPER and I got nada.

So instead I opened up the iPad and checked out Yahoo.  P-C, I'll see you again tomorrow first thing and I'll open right up to your Thursday section where you interview a local bartender.

Happy Halloween

 I think we could just send the kids out in regular clothes on Halloween, because it's usually so cold everyone bundles up anyway.  We did the best we could warming Allison with her Draculaura costume - only one person recognized it so don't feel badly if you have no idea.  She's from Monster High.  Jacob went as Boba Fett - carrying on from his pinewood derby car last spring and rocket. 

Allison and Grace (bride).

Allison was also the shortest (but oldest) of the neighbor kids - Grace, Allison, Jacob, Lucas (football player), Tyson, and Jacob K (who were zombies).  Everybody seemed to be heading out at the same time.

Brian took the kids out - because there is usually a house they visit with beer and brats - so Brian typically takes the kids trick-or-treating.  This year they went to Jacob teacher's house (opposite direction) and ended up walking past the elementary school and into the neighborhood on the other side.  I was called to rescue them a few hours later to save what would have been a 20-30 minute walk back home.

The kids had fun.  They have lots of candy - which means they don't notice if I pilfer a piece or two. 

Ice rink

 Over the summer, Jacob went to a birthday party at the local ice rink.  Since then, he's been begging us to go back.  So a few weeks ago, we did.  Allison (who was initially very opposed) had a lot of fun, especially since there was a "walker" bar that she could push around for balance.

 Jacob - in Jacob fashion - declared himself a competent skater.  It's a good thing he didn't mind falling!

I remembered why it's been 15 years since I went ice skating.  My feet hurt and my toes go numb.  Perhaps next time I'll get hockey skates, because, I'm sure there will be a next time.

I am a ball cart

This was my conversation with Jacob last night:

J: Mom, I've been a ball cart for the last 4 days!
Me: Ball cart?
J: Yeah, for four days in a row!
Me: Ball cart?  What's a ball cart?
J: Well, see, there's this cart, with balls....

And then he launched into a long explanation with lots of pauses for emphasis and that tongue clicking thing he does when he knows he has your attention and he has a story to tell.  Apparently, he and Parker get to push the ball cart back into the building at recess.  They get this wonderous job by simply asking the recess supervisor!  Clearly, Jacob wonders why others haven't figured out that is ALL you have to do to be rewarded with such awesome responsibility.

Meanwhile - I'm wondering how it is that he seeks out opportunities to help clean up and put away at school?  At home it's the WORLD'S MOST LABOROUS CHORE and if I ask him to do something, I am the worst.mom.ever. 

How do I harness this ball cart magic?  Let's flip this so he shows up at school and tells his teacher "Hey - I've been the vacuum for four days now! Tomorrow, I become the made bed!"

When 1 is not Best

We had the kids parent-teacher conferences a few weeks ago.  Overall, they went fine.  I should put conferences in quotes because the teachers really talk to us for about 13 of the 15 minutes and then ask at the end if we have any questions. 

We learned Jacob is still very good at math, his reading is improving (he has discovered Magic Tree House books and others that he likes).  He is still working on the mechanics of the classroom - lining up properly, getting his assignments in his notebook, etc.  Second grade a big shift from "teacher-done" tasks to "student-done" tasks - like the assignment notebooks.

We learned that Allison needs to be kept away from pens (she has an OCD need to smear the ink), she passed her math test and is really doing well in the social skills group.  They also said they were impressed with her work this year, that they'd seen great (but still inconsistent) gains in handwriting, and that she was working much more diligently this year than past years.

Apparently that diligence and hard work did not spread to her achievement test.  The teacher pushed a paper with her "score" on it and said "don't be alarmed - we don't think this is representative of her ability at all."  The autism teacher said that she had noticed Allison going through the computer test "very quickly."  We believe that she may done the equivalent of a pretty randomized selection of bubbles on a scantron test.  When the test score came home - we could see that the raw score they'd given us at the conference aligned with the 1% of AASD students in her grade.  She scored - raw score - lower than she had at the start of second grade.  So from second grade on her scores had trended upward (in sort of a sinusoidal pattern - they take it three times per year) only to plummet in 4th grade back to square one.  Good grief.

When asked - why - of course Allison says she "didn't want to take the test."  Clearly.  How do you convince a kid that it's important when there is no immediate feedback , no positive benefit, and that child doesn't have an inherent desire to please those around her or a desire to try her hardest if there is no benefit to her?  It's the definition of "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."

Oh well.  We all know that she can read at a fourth grade level.  She pounds out an Ivy&Bean book in an hour or so, and tells jokes about it so I know she comprehends the story rather than just the words.  In fact, she reads over an hour a day.  I don't know how to convince her to demonstrate that knowledge - or to demonstrate it on passages that are less appealing to her (subject-wise). 

But she was recommended, and I signed her up, for Club Read, which is an after-school computer based reading program for kids in 3-6th grade.  They get treats and snacks and earn a party by passing a certain number of levels. Some of her friends have done it in the past and hopefully it'll be at least a good experience to get used to reading off the computer screen.

It should be interesting to see the results of the state-mandated testing which begins next Monday at 8:45am.  You know - after the kids have been off for 5 days.  Also, they test in the morning on November 1st - the morning after Halloween.  Good planning!

Flu shots

The kids had a half day today.... so naturally it was the perfect time for flu shots. 

We were greeted by a cadre of nurses.  Like - 6.  I thought maybe they'd seen the notes from past years and just sent in extras.  Actually, it was a class of nursing assistants from the tech college.

Allison pipes up "I'll go first!" and up she goes.  She said she was a little nervous, but she handled it well.  Until they gave her the shot - and then she couldn't stop talking about how much it hurt.  Especially to Jacob.  "Jacob, that really, really hurt." (she says as she bounces around the room with her new pencil and sticker.)

Mom went next.  I had mine in the arm, which according to the nursing assistants is the most painful place to get it (leg is better, butt is best).  After a short discussion upon which I decided no one wanted to view my rear end - I went for arm.  Wow - it did hurt.  And I felt a little lightheaded.  But I knew there would absolutely no shot for Jacob ever again if I passed out.  So, deep breaths and holding in the tears of pain.  Wow - it HURT.

Then Jacob's turn.  He shimmies up onto the table, and then back into the corner.  Repeating "No, no, no, no."  Try to convince.  No go.  Ok - go for the forcible route.  I pick him and position him down on the table - a maneuver which will NOT be easy to do next year, that kid is strong - another two nurse assistants hold his legs and the regular nurse pops in the shot.  Clearly not the learning opportunity it could have been. 

He lays on the table pouting and crying for a good 10 more minutes.  As we're getting ready to leave the one assistant says we should go to the lobby and wait a few minutes; when another one says "na, I think they've been in here long enough to check for a reaction."

We went home to get ice cream for our troubles (and tylenol - did I mention that it hurt?).  And Allison and I had a collision when she was getting out of the car at the same time I was opening the door.  It was a door-v-face collision and dare I say the door won.  So, ice on the face (there is really only a small mark now).  It was a great afternoon for our kids.  Heaven forbid only one of them be mad at me!!

slacker blogger

Man, it's been two months since I've really posted anything.  Sometimes it seems like adding stupid daily things on a daily basis is easy.  When the blog slips for a while then I feel like I need to have big profound things to say.  I don't have any big profound things to say.  Otherwise I might have had a career as a famous writer or philosopher.  Are there famous philosophers anymore?  I heard someone call Michael Pollan a food philosopher.  That's as close as I can come.

So, I might just skip August and September and most of October.  Instead, I will move on to blogging daily stuff.  Like, right now our house is clean and we have 100 servings of panne cotta in the fridge.  This would be the PERFECT time for someone to drop by out of the blue.  But let's face it - nobody drops by anyone's house out of the blue anymore.  I should post something on facebook.  But then it would seem like an invitation and the clean house and panne cotta would appear to be planned for the purpose of having people over - not the interesting coincidence they are.

I guess instead, I'll eat panna cotta for dinner and enjoy the clean house myself.  Nice.

September Pictures

 Back to School - Sept 4th

 So excited to see our buds!

 Pool's Gone - Sept 9th

 Well - still 'almost' gone (Sept 16th)

 Brian turns shrimp into some pretty awesome noodles (Sept 15th)

 Friends make a pretty great (and filling) dinner (Sept 28)

 An action shot - soccer Saturdays (Sept 29)

A slightly less action shot (Sept 29)

What I want in a babysitter

We are training what (I hope) is our last round of babysitters.  Every few years, I start with some new 7th-8th graders and they finally get good about the same time that (a) they get a license so I don't have to drive them home, and (b) they get a license so they have other things to do besides babysit.

But my list of requirements is pretty simple and I'm not particularly picky.  Here are some things that have happened in the past and I've still had the babysitter back:

- they put a diaper on backwards (two different people did this)
- the dog is pink
- one child suddenly has a mullet


And, granted, none of those things THRILL me - but it happens.  However, there is a separate list that bugs me more.  Perhaps because it's filled with things that fall into the category of "you are kindof an employee of mine and I am paying you for more than being a body in the house who can call 911 if necessary."  This list includes:

- half-eaten containers of food in random rooms
- dishes left in the same place they were used
- toys and games with pieces scattered around the floor, even though the kids have been in bed for 2 hours
- your facebook account open on my iPad


So to any future babysitters, here's the short list of getting on my good side:

1) the house should be as clean as it was when I left.  There is some flexibility provided here to daytime babysitters who are playing games when I get back.  If the kids are sleeping - the toys should be picked up.  You can have them do it, if not - you should do it.  I give you a pass on anything that was out when you arrived - but there are bonus points for picking those up too.

2) put dishes in the sink.  The dishwasher would be even better - but at the very least, dump out the leftovers and move the dishes to the counter.

3) don't use the computer / iPad / etc.  Chances are you have a cell phone with you anyway.  If you have some downtime once the kids are in bed - use your OWN electronic devices. 

4) Use logic when the kids ask for thing and PLEASE don't call me unless it's an emergency.  Can the kids play wii?  You know what - you decide - if I didn't give you directives when I left - I don't care.  Should the kids have 5 desserts?  Um - again - think logically and chances are you're the one putting them to bed - so whatever.  I don't need to be involved in these decisions.  I'm enjoying a night out and/or working and/or in a meeting.  Would your parents let YOU do it?  Let that be your guide.

5) if you want to impress me - bring something with you to do with my kids.  It shows that you've thought about this in advance, you're prepared, and you plan to spend your time interacting with the kids.

The fridge is stocked

but unfortunately a meal is hard to make.  I've (we've?) been having fun using the fruits and veggies from the farmer's market and the CSA to make stuff.  That stuff is awesome.  It takes up fridge space, and now there's nowhere to put food.  A conundrum.

There's strawberry balsamic jam, strawberry kiwi jam, garlic scape pesto, blueberry syrup, pickled blueberries, homemade marichino cherries (tart and sweet), homemade pickles (regular and spicy), marinated cheese, corn, lemon curd, and homemade ketchup.  There's probably more that's I've forgotten about, plus everything that has already been consumed!  There are bottles stacked on jars, such that I hardly let the kids get anything out of the fridge for fear the whole kit and kaboodle will come crashing down on their heads.

We have (I think) no less than 15 different types of cheese (insert Wisconsin joke here).  And eggs.  If the space is not filled with things in jars or cheese it contains eggs.  We've learned that a dozen eggs a week is more eggs than we eat.  I think there are 4 dozen in there.

So, I'll gladly take recipes for meals where the ingredient list is eggs, jam, and cheese.  Quiche?  Every night will be breakfast for dinner.  Oh well - it's fun anyway.

This was not a good idea

 Last Friday we decided to do a Moonlight Paddle up in Green Bay.  It was an ambitious 7 mile trip down the Fox River from Depere to the bay.  We launched at 6:30pm and the paddle was anticipated to take about 3 hours, during which time the sun would set and we'd paddle along in the moonlight.  Sounds awesome, right?

Well, we should have initially noticed that there would be problems because the course was shortened due to the "high rollers" at the mouth of the bay.  Why?  The river flows north and there was a stiff wind coming from the north pushing all that water from Green Bay up into the Fox River.  Yeah, I'm a hydrologist I should know something about lake set-up.  Oh well, I'll remember it now.

Initially we didn't have any problems because we started upriver from the Depere lock.  They piled all the paddlers into the lock and closed us in.  This was actually very, very cool, though somewhat anxiety-producing.

Here is Jacob in our kayak at the start.  Note that we are on the left side of the lock and the water level is high.

Here we are with the water level dropped.  We were pulled first backward and then to the right, which if you are trapped in a lock and the water is pulling you in crazy directions, you do feel a bit like you might get sucked down the drain.

Once we were through the lock, we began the long part of the paddle.  As we moved downriver, the wind picked up and so did the waves.  At first, it was great fun.  Jacob loved the waves and "woohoo'ed" every one.  That lasted not too long.  The waves got bigger, the wind stiffer, and then the sun went down and it got colder.

We were not making progress very quickly and if you stopped paddling - you went back upriver.  In addition, the uneven weight distribution in the kayaks meant that if you were not dead-on into the wind, it would pick up the front of the kayak and have you perpendicular to the waves in no time.

So on we went.  I think one of the guides must have been a little concerned about us, because he paddled along for about the last 1/3 of the trip asking frequently how we were doing.  (Incidentally, we were not the farthest group back).  I had to employ an old trick I used when we had long sets in swimming - counting repeatedly to 4 to keep rhythm.

And on we went.  Nearing the final lights of the pull out, we were approached from behind by..... the police.  "You are too far in the middle of the channel, also you aren't supposed to be in kayaks at night, please move to the side."  Yeah - at that point I would have gladly taken "getting pulled over" if it came with a ride to shore.  The problem with moving to the side of the channel was brought up previously - any deviation from straight on into the wind was going to put us cross-wind and that close to the end may flip the whole boat in the waves.  In the dark.

So, finally we made it to the pull out.  Wet, tired, sore, and cold.  Allison's comment: "Mom. Dad. This was Not A Good Idea."

Orthodontia

The assistants in the orthodontist's office think I'm the worst parent in the world.  Background: Allison is scared of new things; I lack patience.

So, the first trip (where they put in the spacers) ended in screaming.  From Allison, not me.  The assistant tried to reassure her, Allison kept asking questions, reassurance, same questions, reassurance, same questions.  Rinse and repeat.  MANY TIMES.  Finally, it gets done.  Screaming.

Second trip - remove spacers, take impressions (yuck), replace spacers.  Reassurance, questions, reassurance, stalling, reassurance, "hey, want to hear a story about my vacation" (clearly stalling), took too long - the impression material hardened before they got it in her mouth.  Repeat - only this time I am more forcefully applying Mom-Pressure ("JUST OPEN UP!").  Same result - too long - no good.  Third time - after much gagging - she gets it done.  The 30 minute appointment was one hour - twenty minutes.

Third trip - remove spacers, insert appliance.  I send her back alone thinking this might work better.  No.  I hear (as does everyone in the waiting room) some variation of the following conversation: "Ok, open up, I'm just going to remove the spacers, remember this doesn't hurt." "I'm scared." "But remember, you've done this before, I just need to take them out and it doesn't hurt."  "But, will it hurt?"  Back and forth - somewhere between 5-10 minutes.

I walk back - "Allison, you did this before, quit stalling, open up."  Big sigh from Allison.  "Fine." Mouth open, spacers out - 30 second later.  I return to my seat only to be called back about 5 minutes later because she's again refusing to open her mouth to put the expander in.  I'd like to think I was firm and direct, but I'm pretty sure the frustration was seeping into my "it WON'T hurt, just TRY it."  Finally I showed her my watch (30 minutes into the 30 minute appointment) asked her what time it was (4:00) and what happened at 4:30 (Liz comes over) so just do this thing.  Ok, appliance placed, orthodontist checked.

Now we have to take it out and do it again - with glue.  Big deep breath.  "I don't like the glue, I don't want to taste the glue, how long will the glue be in there, NO GLUE!"  Despite repeat assurances that the glue was tasteless, the assistant put the "littlest amount of glue on ever" she had it in her head that something else was going to happen.  It's very difficult to make Allison's brain change lanes when she's decided the world in one way and you insist it's another.  So again - here's me - "just open up, you did this like 15 minutes ago and it didn't hurt."  Thirty minute appointment now over an hour.

And for anyone whose encountered Allison in the last month and heard all about what she can and cannot eat with spacers - we've now upped the ante.  Orthodontia are clearly not conducive to a high calorie diet - unless that diet is purely milkshakes, which is what I gave her for breakfast this morning. 

Immaculate

There is a simple reason why my house is not immaculate:  I don't care enough.

There are a lot of reasons why people keep immaculate houses.  Perhaps they expect visitors to drop by on a moment's notice.  Perhaps they have OCD.  Isn't there some quote about cleanliness leads to godliness?  Perhaps they subscribe to the "a place for everything and everything in it's place" mantra.

My mantra is this: clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy.  I do look around (often) and think - wow it would be nice for all these horizontal surfaces to be free of "piles" and the toy area to look more organized than haphazardly piled.  Sometimes I clean the kitchen for the sole purpose of making a mess in it again - a.k.a. cooking.  But then I think of the 80-20 rule and decide it's good enough.  I can spend 15 minutes "picking up" a room or an hour cleaning it - and I'm choosing the 15 minutes almost every time.  Why? - multiply an hour by 8 rooms and that's a whole day cleaning!

One flaw in my system (yes, see how I call it a "system" to give it some more legitimacy) is that it's confusing to the kids.  I say "clean up your mess" and what does that mean?  Throw it all in the toy bin in your room with the lid on it so mom can't see but then when you go to play you have to take it all back out again to find the one little shoe missing from Tinkerbell's outfit?  Or does it mean sort and organize so that all the fairies are in one bin, barbies in another, star wars separated from star wars lego?  If my house were immaculate - the end point of cleaning would be clear. 

It's true - I see clean houses and kindof want that.  It's also entirely possible for me to organize and have an immaculate house.  I believe that I am capable of it.  I just don't WANT it badly enough.  I want it vaguely from a distance like "gee that would be be nice."   I rationalize that my friends like me for my winning personality, not my immaculate house.  Also - I can always arrange to meet them in neutral locations - like Starbucks. 

I do need to hunt for a cleaning service this summer, due to my strong aversion to using anything chemical other than kitchen counter spray.  Perhaps that will elevate the house from "picked up" to "clean" ..... at least once every other week, that is. 

Toilet Paper Math

What has me whipping my phone calculator out in the grocery store?  Answer - toilet paper.  Since Brian's days at P&G, we've been a Charmin family and I don't really consider other brands.  Which is good...... since Charmin does a fair job giving me choices all by itself.

First - extra strong or extra soft?  (I exclude 'basic' from the get-go).  Ok - is there some rule about toilet paper not being both strong and soft??  Also, if it's not basic - is it deluxe?  We choose strong - it is moderately soft and who wants toilet paper that might fall apart?  (actually, I can't tell a lick of different between soft and strong - so I defer to the former paper engineer.)

Second - do I want 12 mega rolls or 8 super rolls?  Or 16 giant rolls?  16 giant rolls might be $14, while the 12 mega rolls are $9 and the 8 super rolls are $4.  But the math is not that simple people - because 16 giant rolls is not twice as much toilet paper as 8 super rolls.  Each super roll is 2 regular roll but 16 giant rolls is 4 regular rolls; and a mega roll is 3 regular rolls! 

To determine the best deal on toilet paper I have to compare the prices per number of regular rolls.  (what's the MOST funny is that toilet paper is the ONLY product in the store that I am consistantly worried about getting the best value for - there may be twice as much cereal for only $1 more and I think - "yeah, but I don't want that much").

P&G is nice enough to provide the regular roll conversion for you on the front of the package.  None-the-less, I have to divide the prices by large numbers ($14/36 versus $9.52/24).  I try to do the 24 is 2/3 of 36 so what is 2/3 of $14 and is that more than or less than $9?  $9 + $4.5 is $13.50 which is a little less than $14, but when I factor in the $0.52 fudge factor it's too close!!

So yeah - I got out my calculator to ENSURE that I got the best deal on Charmin extra strong.

Strawberries galore!

We joined a new CSA this summer.  We ordered not only a veggie, but a fruit share.  Holy yumminess!  Although I was super excited about the first flat of strawberries in week 1; I was a little less sure of what to do with the flat of strawberries in week 2.  So far, we've made four batches of strawberry balsamic jam (they are pretty small batches), strawberry syrup, strawberry/watermelon lemonade, strawberry/raspberry/watermelon lemonade, strawberry shortcake, strawberry/rhubarb soda, strawberry/rhubarb compote, strawberry pie, and homemade strawberry pop tarts. 

We were also fortunate to have a friend drop off a big box of tart cherries, especially since 95% of the Door County cherry crop was wiped out due to a warm March and cold April.  Those cherries have been cleaned, pitted, and frozen and are awaiting their futures in pie.  Perhaps also a few will make it into cherry pop tarts.

So this week, I'm really kindof hoping for raspberries, as I'm running out of strawberry recipes.  Also, I seem to clean the kitchen only to make another mess in it shortly thereafter.  I guess there could be worse things.....

Less than fully formed

Sometimes blog posts marinate a while.  It may be that I’m trying to decide if I really want to write about a specific topic, or I can’t quite form the ideas into a coherent story, or I have a great idea that will likely offend someone and I keep it to myself.  This one has been brewing for a couple weeks, may not be a coherent story, and totally could offend someone.  But this morning’s paper pushed me to complete it.  Why this morning’s paper?  Well, there’s a column written by our neighbor.  And this morning she wrote about how blessed they were.

The neighbor’s daughter had a terrible accident two weeks ago.  She fell off the side of a high dive and landed stomach first on the edge of the pool.  Five days in the hospital in Madison and a lacerated liver later and she’s been back at home in good spirits since.  She was actually over playing with Allison today.  So the story has a happy ending and that’s important.  Above all else, I’m really, really glad that it was not more serious because it easily could have been and that’s always you fear as your kids venture further from you.  SOMETHING might happen.  That SOMETHING might be tragic.

So, we’re happy she’s well.  Very happy.  But that relief was followed by two pretty (for lack of a better term) un-Christian thoughts.  #1 – “gee, those kids get manage to get injured easily enough under the watch of their own parents.”  This, as you may or may not know, stems from an incident two years ago when Allison hit Lucas with an apple-picker and the neighbors declared that their children could not play around Allison unless they were supervised (presumably by me).  All the details were sketchy because Allison and Lucas were the only ones outside and the two of them are like oil and water – but the details are less important than the outcome- which is that they felt that Allison was a threat to the wellbeing of their children.  This is not something easily forgotten.  However, since then Lucas fell and broke his arm (while at the park with their dad); Ben got several stitches playing football at school; and Grace lacerated a liver (while at the pool with her mom).  Injuries acquired while at our house – one apple picker incident which did not even require a band aid.  (insert me knocking on wood here).  To the neighbors, WE are that house that your kids like to play at that makes you wonder whether there are liquor bottles lining the kitchen and nudie calendars posted in the workshop; which - by the way - is full of power saws with no safety locks and a gun cabinet in full view.  (Oh, wait, that was my friend Lisa’s house growing up).  Whatever – Brian and I are THOSE PEOPLE.

Thought  #2 – jealousy.  Well, not so much as thought as a feeling.  Yeah, not particularly proud of this one, and it took me a little while to put my finger on it exactly.  In the age of Facebook, you get to spread news near and far in an instant and have a community of support right away.  This is one of the great advantages of social media.  That we can reach out and support one another in times of need is awesome.  But as the conversation thankfully turned to “keep her in your thoughts” to “it’s all going to be OK” there was a slightly insidious message that started to take hold and one that was reiterated on Facebook, in messages, and in face-to-face conversations.  It went something like this: “we were so lucky.  It could have been so much worse. She won’t be able to do this or that activity for a while, but in the grand-scheme of things – one summer without soccer is not so bad.  Even the doctors were surprised that was her only injury.  We’re so blessed, she must really have Someone looking out for her because it could have been terrible.”

And here is where the bug got me – because it IS going to be OK.  There aren’t any long term effects.  She’ll weather this storm as a blip in the road and go right on back to being totally “normal.”  And “wow – was that scary, but thankfully NOTHING’S WRONG.”  Because clearly, the counter point is that if there is something WRONG you are not blessed.  You are not lucky.  Someone is not looking out for you.  So, yeah, I’m glad that nothing has marred the perfect future you envision for your child.  I’m glad that you feel blessed to have no LONG-TERM effects.  No sneaky demons that creep up when you least expect.  And you get to pat yourself on the back and think that all that clean living is really paying off.  Way to go – here’s your gold star!

So for your daughter, who I wish no ill will upon what-so-ever, I’m really happy that things are OK.  But a small part of me wishes that you could experience some of what it’s like to have problems that don’t go away so easily; that carry some long-term uncertainty; because then you might have a little more understanding and empathy.  Understanding that sometimes not being ‘OK’ is also a blessing; and those who sometimes seem “wrong” are lucky and have Someone looking out for them too.

Answer Key

Follow-up

Long day in Madison, but not due to Allison's doctor's appointment.  I squeezed in a meeting with the online program director, we swung by Toy's R Us to pick up a birthday present, and ate lunch at McDonald's (ugh). 

But - good news for Allison - on her higher calorie diet she's gained 3 pounds and 2 cm in the last 5 months.  That means she's now moving parallel to the growth curve rather than askew to the growth curve.  Also, it's a pretty normal growth rate for her age (5cm/yr).  This means, we keep pushing calories and watch and wait another 6 months.  The doctor felt (based on her bone age scans) that she was going to hit puberty later than average, and there may likely come a time when we might use a low dose of hormone to stimulate growth.  Growth flattens out slightly right before puberty/at the very beginning of puberty (and the growth system "weakens") - and we might try to keep her growing more during that period, which will likely be extended for her and late.  Meanwhile her peers will be shooting up massively in height so that the differential height gets more pronounced.

But, my thinking is that even 5cm/yr for the next 6 years is going to add a foot of height.  It's not WNBA tall - but it's not Snooki short either.

News, news, more news

Summer is many things for the kids - relaxing, playing, camping - but it's also time to get in all the appointments that we never get around to during the year.  Doctors and dentists and haircuts - oh my!

Thus far, Jacob has had his 7-yr check up.  He grew three inches and gained 7 pounds this year - keeping pace with the 75%-line.  There wasn't much else to say, and I've found myself sometimes at a loss in the doctor's office when I don't have more to discuss.  The doctor's like "looks good - any questions?" and I have this moment of panic like: OMG I have no questions.

Allison has thus far been focusing on her teeth - but eyes and hormones are coming up soon.  The check-up at the dentist yielded no new cavities (there are two spots they are *watching*) and she's finally got her 6-yr molars coming in.  Good news.  Bad news - the molars have something called an enamel defect, which is that they are brittle and didn't form enough of the tough outer coating to protect them.  There are several things that can cause this - including a high fever or illness as an infant when the tooth buds begin - or it could be something generally related to overall developmental issues.  We'll never know.  They want to put fillings in/over (I was unclear) after her next appointment in 6 months and they said crowns are not out of the question for kids with this problem.  Great.  Luckily, there is no expectation that other teeth will have this problem, as teeth develop at different times and whatever stress that cause this was likely short-lived.  More bad news - Allison now has special high fluoride toothpaste and she hates the taste (which is helpful in getting her to spit it out).

Today was the 6-month visit to / check-in with the orthodontist, who has also been waiting for the 6-yr molars to come in so that he can start the expanders.  Unfortunately for Allison, this means more bad tooth news.  We've been waiting for molars to make space and provide anchors for the orthodontia, but the molars are slow going.  The molars are slow going because the next set of molars is forming against the current molars.  Like plants - molars grow roots down and "sprout" upwards.  If the molar does not move upwards, the root grows laterally and then the molar gets "stuck" because the root growth is not pushing upwards anymore.  Her 6-yr molars have OK roots, the next set of molars is partially under the 6-yr molars and very close to the jaw bone - in essence - we've run out of waiting time.  There are also 2 teeth in the top front and 2 teeth in the bottom front that have begun to grow at a goofy angle.  Must make space ASAP.  The orthodontist wanted a little time to make a plan, but basically said he'd probably go ahead and either make expanders that were removable, or anchor them to the baby teeth.  Anyway, those brittle, slow, 6-yr molars aren't going to be the best candidates for a while anyway.  We go back in 2 weeks to hear the plan, the cost (gulp), and set up a time table.

Tomorrow we go back to Madison to follow-up with the endocrinologist.  I think she's gained about 3-4 pounds this spring, but height.... I'm not so sure.  We'll have to see tomorrow.  Hopefully, it's all better news than the tooth business.

Used School Supplies Anyone?

Now that school has been out for a week, I find myself cleaning and sorting all the "treasures" that the kids have brought back from their desks.  I place usable things in a large rubbermaid tub (along with former usable things from past years) to be gotten out when we are in need of them.  Which is.... never.

The kids are not necessarily "colorers."  They never really have been that interested in sitting down for a stretch of time with markers and a picture to fill in.  Those workbooky things - sure, they love those - but you can do a whole workbook or word search with about two pencil sharpenings.

And pencils - holy crap do we have a lot of pencils.  Pencils are the new candy when it comes to birthday treats, holiday give-aways, or good behavior prizes.  They could stop manufacturing pencils TODAY, and we'd still have enough for a lifetime.

We also have tons of glue.  Allison got out 5 bottles of glue yesterday to use as pretend "ingredients" in her cooking.  I just found 4 more in their backpacks from this year.  Glue sticks, on the other hand, we can always use more of.  The kids prefer glue sticks to glue bottles in approximately the same ratio that dentists recommend using toothpaste.

But what bugs me most about unpacking the end-of-year used supplies is the waste.  Jacob had two notebooks that were about 90% unused (I set aside for doodling this summer).  He has 4 folders in perfectly good shape, save the permanent marker that has been used to designate the owner, classroom, teacher, and subject (thus making it difficult to justify their reuse next year).  Allison's crayons, calculator, and one marker set came back home in October because they were "too distracting" for her in her desk.  So, she didn't need them?  If she didn't need them, why were they on the page-long list of school supplies typed in 6 point font that we received at the beginning of the year?

I get that it's easier for kids to bring everything at the beginning and then it's "done."  But the growing pile of useable stuff that returns each year leads me to believe that I send way more than they need.  What if markers one year were donated to the class the next year?  Could we maybe buy one three-subject notebook rather than three single subject notebooks?  And please, loosen your stranglehold on the Ticonderoga pencils.  I know - they probably ARE the best, but I have this backlog of lonely Happy Halloween pencils that are just waiting to be used! 

9 going on 3

During the writing of the below blog post - the following events were occurring downstairs:

A girl was dousing her hair and her doll's hair in detangler spray, "refilling" the windex bottle with Cascade dishwasher cleaner (like Jet-Dry; same color), proceeding to wash the back door glass with "Windex/Cascade", and doodling/smudging hearts all over the neighbor's Get Well card.  I think I made it calmly through the first 4 - but released an exasperated "Allison!" by the time I got to #5.  Mainly because it involves having to get/make a new card.

This much "getting into" at home is a little unusual and hopefully due to the new summer schedule changes and perhaps the need for a little more sleep.  Or, she's honestly trying to be more proactive in getting stuff done (hey - I'll wash the windows!) but still needs some work in the judgement area (cascade not equal to windex).  See all that smeary stuff? - not the correct look.

A boy turns 7

 Jacob turned 7! It's been what - a week?  Yeah, can't really remember what we did that day - but it was busy.  Jacob truly lucked out because it was school field trip day - when all the classes leave and let the kindergarteners "run" the school.  Jacob's field trip - Chuck-E-Cheese and the park.  Well, now he can't complain that he's never been to Chuck-E-Cheese on his birthday!

After school he went to play at his friend's house, then we picked him up to go out to dinner at the new-ish pizza buffet in town.  It's name is Salt-N-Grease.... oh wait, no, it's SteviB's.  They have an arcade, and I actually had some left-over tokens and a coupon - so rock on!

We got home LATE and then Jacob insisted on decorating his own cake with chocolate chips and M&M's.  Here it is:

I'll take guesses now and post an answer key later.  By the time we had cake, both kids were in their pj's and it was after 9pm.  For pjs for Jacob - that means underwear.  So, I finally get a good cake-picture and he's half naked.  Figures.  I'll let Jacob introduce you to the newest member of the Douglas family and Jacob's birthday present on the kids blog next week (hint - his name is Quickie; mom and dad could not persuade them to choose another name, 'Fastie' was already taken by the caterpillar).  He's really looking forward to making his rockets this summer and will be saving his birthday money for an ipad - or a trampoline - whichever is cheaper.  Since he saves about $80 a year, I think by the time he can afford an ipad, I'll be OK with him having one.  PS - no one tell him what a Kindle Fire is, ok?