Why do girls get the bad rap when it comes to neighborhood drama?
We returned from a nice weekend camping to a..... ballsy?.... facebook message from our neighbor. Because, you know, facebook messenger is the BEST way to send out sensitive information without offending people.
This message came to three moms on the street; thus becoming a conversation about all the 9-10 year old boys on our block. I've told this story a few times and it's long. I'll try to boil it down.
Original message: I would like everyone to know that your kids are being mean to my kid and it all started when they accused him of something stupid that he didn't do. It was completely inappropriate and not one boy ever apologized for accusing him of said stupid thing. I want to make sure this never happens again while I'm at work and my three kids are home alone - which is - you know - every day.
Responder #1: This actually all started when your son did this terrible thing to my son, and I was home when it happened and your son never apologized and I think it's terrible that your kid did this thing and I informed MY kid to just let it go, but if you're bringing it up now... let's go there.
Original poster: Well, I'll talk to my son about that, but there has been lots of stuff and your kids have been involved too.
Me: Gee, kids are dumb sometimes. I'll talk to my kid to make sure that he's not intentionally being mean to people. (secretly thinking that the real problem is that Original kid and Responder #1 are both Chiefs and my kid and the other are both Indians - and the two Chiefs have been warring over the Indians all summer)
Original poster: My kid says he never did that terrible thing to Responder #1's kid.
Me: Uh.... he actually did that, I was also home at that time.
Original poster: Well, I just don't believe that because my kid is a bad liar and I would know if he was lying to me.
And Herein Lies the Real Problem: Your kid is, in fact, a phenomenal liar. Quite possibly, he's one of the most manipulative kids I know. He's not a 'bad' kid, but he's very smart has a lot of charisma and he wants to lead the pack. But, you, parent - have no clue. Worse, he's manipulating you. He's convinced you that this is the only incident all summer. You, of course, don't know about the time he threw water balloons at someone, hitting them in the face and knocking them out of the tree. Or the time he held down someone and spit all over him. Your kid and his friend (who thankfully does not live near our street)
are responsible for at least two kids at their elementary school
transferring to other schools. But - worse - when alerted to these things by adults - you brush them off as things that couldn't have been possibly done by your sweet little boy.
I feel like I have a handle on my kids strengths and weaknesses. Maybe I don't always get them correct, but I do accept the fact that my kids are imperfect humans and they will make mistakes (sometimes bad mistakes).
But, for you, it will always be someone else's fault. The most powerful thing you could have done here is NOTHING. You could have let him learn that when his friends don't like his behavior, they won't play with him. Instead, you intervened and reinforced the idea that you think he can do no wrong and the problem is clearly everyone else.
Friday, August 28, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Middle School Registration
Sweltering heat, missing locker key, and quite possibly the worst math textbook ever.
Allison had school registration yesterday. It can be summed up quite nicely with the sentence above. Plus, long lines of people.
Admittedly, they did their best to move several hundred 7th graders through the arduous process of paying fees, getting school pictures, printing ID's, getting schedules, buying heart monitor straps, checking out textbooks, and renting locker organizers. However, it was not without it's hiccups.
First, the pictures were in the small gym in the center of the building. Yeah - the one with no windows and/or air circulation. You waited in three lines total - one to get your ID ticket, one to take the pictures, and one to print the ID's after you took the pictures. I was worried that I had a big sweat mark on my back where I was holding Allison's bag of binders and notebooks. :-( It was hot.
Then there was an incredibly long line for buying the $8 required heart monitor strap for gym class. While I stood in line, I sent Allison on errands to sign off on her handbook and check out the locker organizer rental. She was not interested in the cross-country team. Not shocked about that.
We went to pick up her textbooks in the library and then the final stop was her locker. The only problem was that she has a keyed rather than a combination lock. There is a long story about this keyed lock, which is not relevant to tell here other than the fact that Allison prefers a keyed lock even though I'd prefer she have a combination lock. It seems like something that falls squarely into the category of "not worth fighting over." Instead, I took up arms over her having a backpack without cartoon characters on it.
Anywho... after the two day MS orientation last week, Allison left her key with the science teacher (as she was supposed to), who also seems to be the main coordinator on fact-and-fees day. So, she was running hither and yon doing a little bit of everything and had no idea where she left the locker keys. This left us standing in the hallway with a book bag full of binders and notebooks, textbooks, and a wooden locker organizer with no way to access Allison's locker.
Fortunately, the autism resource teacher let us put the organizer in her room and we made arrangements to come in next week and bring all her school supplies in. So, we schlepped everything else home, which is when I got the opportunity to take a look at the math textbook. First off, the series is Grade 6, Grade 7 Accelerated, Grade 8 Algebra. Why is Grade 7 Accelerated? What's accelerated about it? There was no Grade 7 regular option. That was weird. And then on top of that, the textbook is just awful. It's like someone had a field day with crazy fonts and colors. I mean, if everything is highlighted then how can you FIND the actual important shit?
It should be an interesting year. Then I got home and Brian reminded me that Allison's IEP actually included textbook book printouts so that she could write on them. I'd forgotten about that, but in looking at the book, I'm not sure that's even going to be helpful.
So, this will be an interesting transition. Allison herself waffles about it. I think she's excited to be in middle school now, but not thrilled with the whole "going back to school" business.
Allison had school registration yesterday. It can be summed up quite nicely with the sentence above. Plus, long lines of people.
Admittedly, they did their best to move several hundred 7th graders through the arduous process of paying fees, getting school pictures, printing ID's, getting schedules, buying heart monitor straps, checking out textbooks, and renting locker organizers. However, it was not without it's hiccups.
First, the pictures were in the small gym in the center of the building. Yeah - the one with no windows and/or air circulation. You waited in three lines total - one to get your ID ticket, one to take the pictures, and one to print the ID's after you took the pictures. I was worried that I had a big sweat mark on my back where I was holding Allison's bag of binders and notebooks. :-( It was hot.
Then there was an incredibly long line for buying the $8 required heart monitor strap for gym class. While I stood in line, I sent Allison on errands to sign off on her handbook and check out the locker organizer rental. She was not interested in the cross-country team. Not shocked about that.
We went to pick up her textbooks in the library and then the final stop was her locker. The only problem was that she has a keyed rather than a combination lock. There is a long story about this keyed lock, which is not relevant to tell here other than the fact that Allison prefers a keyed lock even though I'd prefer she have a combination lock. It seems like something that falls squarely into the category of "not worth fighting over." Instead, I took up arms over her having a backpack without cartoon characters on it.
Anywho... after the two day MS orientation last week, Allison left her key with the science teacher (as she was supposed to), who also seems to be the main coordinator on fact-and-fees day. So, she was running hither and yon doing a little bit of everything and had no idea where she left the locker keys. This left us standing in the hallway with a book bag full of binders and notebooks, textbooks, and a wooden locker organizer with no way to access Allison's locker.
Fortunately, the autism resource teacher let us put the organizer in her room and we made arrangements to come in next week and bring all her school supplies in. So, we schlepped everything else home, which is when I got the opportunity to take a look at the math textbook. First off, the series is Grade 6, Grade 7 Accelerated, Grade 8 Algebra. Why is Grade 7 Accelerated? What's accelerated about it? There was no Grade 7 regular option. That was weird. And then on top of that, the textbook is just awful. It's like someone had a field day with crazy fonts and colors. I mean, if everything is highlighted then how can you FIND the actual important shit?
It should be an interesting year. Then I got home and Brian reminded me that Allison's IEP actually included textbook book printouts so that she could write on them. I'd forgotten about that, but in looking at the book, I'm not sure that's even going to be helpful.
So, this will be an interesting transition. Allison herself waffles about it. I think she's excited to be in middle school now, but not thrilled with the whole "going back to school" business.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Championship Game
Monday, June 29, 2015
annoyed
a.k.a. Jamie's typical feeling about this summer.
There is an abundance of boys and a lack of parents in our neighborhood in the summer. This lopsided distribution means that most "issues" fall into my lap to resolve and - of all the boys - there is really only one who is going to listen to anything that I say and he's not even that reliable.
So, six boys decided to throw some things (I don't even know what) at each other and one accidentally hit the plastic fence of the neighbor. This was apparently lots of fun because they then decided to aim for the plastic fence.
Then, they all scattered. Quickly. The scattering I witnessed.
This was followed by a ring of the doorbell.
Because apparently *my* son was throwing things at her fence and it's a giant plastic fence and she's worried about the structural integrity of her plastic fence and the fact that she may or may not have imaginary grandchildren playing on the other said of said fence.
OMG.
Then I try to track down 6 boys, who know they are in trouble because they saw her coming and ran to someone else's house. There were 6 boys who were NOT interested in being in trouble and certainly weren't the "boy in the red shirt" (only one kid in a red shirt, who was incidentally the only kid who the neighbor was certain was NOT involved).
In summary: 2 boys = game of monopoly. 4 boys = game of basketball. 6 boys = might as well be watching toddlers.
There is an abundance of boys and a lack of parents in our neighborhood in the summer. This lopsided distribution means that most "issues" fall into my lap to resolve and - of all the boys - there is really only one who is going to listen to anything that I say and he's not even that reliable.
So, six boys decided to throw some things (I don't even know what) at each other and one accidentally hit the plastic fence of the neighbor. This was apparently lots of fun because they then decided to aim for the plastic fence.
Then, they all scattered. Quickly. The scattering I witnessed.
This was followed by a ring of the doorbell.
Because apparently *my* son was throwing things at her fence and it's a giant plastic fence and she's worried about the structural integrity of her plastic fence and the fact that she may or may not have imaginary grandchildren playing on the other said of said fence.
OMG.
Then I try to track down 6 boys, who know they are in trouble because they saw her coming and ran to someone else's house. There were 6 boys who were NOT interested in being in trouble and certainly weren't the "boy in the red shirt" (only one kid in a red shirt, who was incidentally the only kid who the neighbor was certain was NOT involved).
In summary: 2 boys = game of monopoly. 4 boys = game of basketball. 6 boys = might as well be watching toddlers.
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Watching baseball is hard
Watching baseball games is difficult for me.... although they've gotten better over the course of the season as the batters and pitchers have improved to where there is actually some action and not an alternating strike out and walk.
But, there's still lots of time during the game to analyze and ponder all sorts of baseball and non-baseball related things. Perhaps not being able to keep my mind focused on the game at all times has made me aware of one particular set of parent-child dynamics and it makes me very sad.
I think I've said it before, but I like Jacob's coaches this year. They seem to have a good attitude and they mix things up a bit but they also try to keep strategies that will help them win. For example, last night they locked a win on the game (being the away team and hitting the time limit) and so the coach put the outfielders in the infield and the infielders in the outfield and let someone pitch who wanted to but hasn't ever done it before. It wasn't the prettiest inning - but who cares? They did not get the shutout they might have had, but the kids had fun.
I just want to highlight that the overall attitude on the team is kind of "we want to win, and we want to have fun; and sometimes we also might lose, but let's keep a good attitude and never give up."
This has been good for Jacob, as he's really just gotten a little more confident in his ability to hit the ball.... like... well... this week. And some kids are still struggling with hitting and fielding. One kid, who falls in the mid-bottom of the "skill" level of players has a father who seems to believe that any praise might detract from the fact that his son's play might have been "better." He chastises his kid for not swinging at the pitches, but then chastises him for swinging at balls. The kid seriously takes a swing, then turns and looks for his dad in the stands. Every. Single. Time. And his glance is always returned with a scowl.
Yesterday, the kid made a nice catch of a pop fly for an out. All the kids and coaches were telling him nice play and he had a big smile on his face. He came over to the stands to his dad and sister (sister who gave him a big high-five) and a dad who said something that eliminated most of the smile from the boy's face.
I know there are a variety of different philosophies on how to motivate kids and there is no magic button. Perhaps I should just be glad that this guy isn't one of the team's assistant coaches. And I can't say that I've watched anything that would be considered abusive (through work I did have to go through training on that.... because.... well I have no idea why really). But, I felt like going over and just being like "dude, he made a good play, just say 'good job.' Just this once." Clearly it would mean the world to that kid.
But, there's still lots of time during the game to analyze and ponder all sorts of baseball and non-baseball related things. Perhaps not being able to keep my mind focused on the game at all times has made me aware of one particular set of parent-child dynamics and it makes me very sad.
I think I've said it before, but I like Jacob's coaches this year. They seem to have a good attitude and they mix things up a bit but they also try to keep strategies that will help them win. For example, last night they locked a win on the game (being the away team and hitting the time limit) and so the coach put the outfielders in the infield and the infielders in the outfield and let someone pitch who wanted to but hasn't ever done it before. It wasn't the prettiest inning - but who cares? They did not get the shutout they might have had, but the kids had fun.
I just want to highlight that the overall attitude on the team is kind of "we want to win, and we want to have fun; and sometimes we also might lose, but let's keep a good attitude and never give up."
This has been good for Jacob, as he's really just gotten a little more confident in his ability to hit the ball.... like... well... this week. And some kids are still struggling with hitting and fielding. One kid, who falls in the mid-bottom of the "skill" level of players has a father who seems to believe that any praise might detract from the fact that his son's play might have been "better." He chastises his kid for not swinging at the pitches, but then chastises him for swinging at balls. The kid seriously takes a swing, then turns and looks for his dad in the stands. Every. Single. Time. And his glance is always returned with a scowl.
Yesterday, the kid made a nice catch of a pop fly for an out. All the kids and coaches were telling him nice play and he had a big smile on his face. He came over to the stands to his dad and sister (sister who gave him a big high-five) and a dad who said something that eliminated most of the smile from the boy's face.
I know there are a variety of different philosophies on how to motivate kids and there is no magic button. Perhaps I should just be glad that this guy isn't one of the team's assistant coaches. And I can't say that I've watched anything that would be considered abusive (through work I did have to go through training on that.... because.... well I have no idea why really). But, I felt like going over and just being like "dude, he made a good play, just say 'good job.' Just this once." Clearly it would mean the world to that kid.
Monday, June 8, 2015
Attack Kitty
So, the neighbors have a new puppy.... a little cockapoo or something like that. Right now it's just a very hyper ball of fur.
Yesterday, the boys were playing with him and Jacob came in the house to get some water.... and the puppy followed. What great fun! A new place to explore!
Until.... Wylie saw him speeding past in the kitchen from her preferred hangout spot in the sunroom.
"Intruder!!!"
Holy crap, the cat was on it. Like a flash she was in the main house, horrid noises emitting from her throat, fur all puffed out.
The puppy was somewhat oblivious to this new creature he'd encountered. I mean, I'm sure all other mammals had been pretty welcoming to him in his short life - so why fear this crazy ball of fur. Off he went around in the family room.
"This house is MY house!!!"
No sooner had he rounded the corner that the cat took the short route and planted herself right in front of the puppy. Back arched, teeth bared, Get The Hell Out!
And this point, the puppy may have registered that this is not someone I want to play with. He paused for a moment of confusion, and turned to walk slowly in the other direction.
This gave me the opportunity to scoop him up (he was all wet from the grass, so that was also awesome) and put him back outside.
The cat continued to voice her deep dissatisfaction with the whole event.
I guess we won't be getting a dog, LOL.
Yesterday, the boys were playing with him and Jacob came in the house to get some water.... and the puppy followed. What great fun! A new place to explore!
Until.... Wylie saw him speeding past in the kitchen from her preferred hangout spot in the sunroom.
"Intruder!!!"
Holy crap, the cat was on it. Like a flash she was in the main house, horrid noises emitting from her throat, fur all puffed out.
The puppy was somewhat oblivious to this new creature he'd encountered. I mean, I'm sure all other mammals had been pretty welcoming to him in his short life - so why fear this crazy ball of fur. Off he went around in the family room.
"This house is MY house!!!"
No sooner had he rounded the corner that the cat took the short route and planted herself right in front of the puppy. Back arched, teeth bared, Get The Hell Out!
And this point, the puppy may have registered that this is not someone I want to play with. He paused for a moment of confusion, and turned to walk slowly in the other direction.
This gave me the opportunity to scoop him up (he was all wet from the grass, so that was also awesome) and put him back outside.
The cat continued to voice her deep dissatisfaction with the whole event.
I guess we won't be getting a dog, LOL.
Friday, June 5, 2015
Bring on the rubric
This post will be a small rant about grading rubrics..... 4th grade grading rubrics.
As an aside - I'm a believer in rubrics. As an engineer, I especially like that they make it easier for me to grade things like essays, projects, and papers by quantifying the components.
BUT, as a user of rubrics, I realize that you need to either make your instructions match your expectations (rubric), or make you expectations (rubric) match your instructions. Which is why I was super annoyed that Jacob earned 27 of 50 points on his non-fiction book report, when he did exactly what the instructions said, but not what the rubric graded him on.
Let me give some examples along with an easy fix for the teacher to make their expectations more transparent.
Instruction: "Using complete sentences, tell about 5 or more interesting facts you learned from reading the book"
Rubric: "5 or more interesting facts using a total of at least two sentences per fact"
Score: 5/15 because he gave five facts with only one sentence each (why half the expectation was only 1/3 of the points is another point to ponder).
Jamie's Instructions Recommendation: "Write about 5 or more interesting facts you learned from reading the book, using at least two sentences for each fact."
(with a note that the teacher is actually asking the students to "write" about the facts and not "speak" about the facts, so "tell" is really also not the correct word here)
Instruction: "Did you like the book? Did you think the book did a good job of teaching you about the topic? Would you recommend this book to a friend? Using complete sentences, explain your opinion of this book." (this was written just as I have in one paragraph)
Rubric: "Opinion paragraph written using at least 5 complete sentences" and a second one "Recommendation paragraph including at least 5 sentences"
Score: 2/7 because I guess he wrote just one 5 sentence paragraph that answered the questions listed in the instructions.
Jamie's Instructions Recommendation: Split into two parts if there are two paragraphs required. Part 1: "What is your opinion about the book? Did you like the book? Did you think the book did a good job of teaching you about the topic? Write a full paragraph answer."
Part 2: "Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not? Write a full paragraph answer."
(with a note that the teacher is actually asking the students to "write" about the facts and not "speak" about the facts, so "tell" is really also not the correct word here)
See. Not so hard to make them match. Seriously - he'll do what you want him to do, just be clear about what you want him to do.
As an aside - I'm a believer in rubrics. As an engineer, I especially like that they make it easier for me to grade things like essays, projects, and papers by quantifying the components.
BUT, as a user of rubrics, I realize that you need to either make your instructions match your expectations (rubric), or make you expectations (rubric) match your instructions. Which is why I was super annoyed that Jacob earned 27 of 50 points on his non-fiction book report, when he did exactly what the instructions said, but not what the rubric graded him on.
Let me give some examples along with an easy fix for the teacher to make their expectations more transparent.
Instruction: "Using complete sentences, tell about 5 or more interesting facts you learned from reading the book"
Rubric: "5 or more interesting facts using a total of at least two sentences per fact"
Score: 5/15 because he gave five facts with only one sentence each (why half the expectation was only 1/3 of the points is another point to ponder).
Jamie's Instructions Recommendation: "Write about 5 or more interesting facts you learned from reading the book, using at least two sentences for each fact."
(with a note that the teacher is actually asking the students to "write" about the facts and not "speak" about the facts, so "tell" is really also not the correct word here)
Instruction: "Did you like the book? Did you think the book did a good job of teaching you about the topic? Would you recommend this book to a friend? Using complete sentences, explain your opinion of this book." (this was written just as I have in one paragraph)
Rubric: "Opinion paragraph written using at least 5 complete sentences" and a second one "Recommendation paragraph including at least 5 sentences"
Score: 2/7 because I guess he wrote just one 5 sentence paragraph that answered the questions listed in the instructions.
Jamie's Instructions Recommendation: Split into two parts if there are two paragraphs required. Part 1: "What is your opinion about the book? Did you like the book? Did you think the book did a good job of teaching you about the topic? Write a full paragraph answer."
Part 2: "Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not? Write a full paragraph answer."
(with a note that the teacher is actually asking the students to "write" about the facts and not "speak" about the facts, so "tell" is really also not the correct word here)
See. Not so hard to make them match. Seriously - he'll do what you want him to do, just be clear about what you want him to do.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
The last week of school
I'm pretty sure the last week of school happened for Jacob two weeks ago and Allison at least 4 weeks ago. I mean - I'm still sending them to school and will be until June 5th..... but they aren't really in "school" anymore. (and I'm really NOT complaining schools - please keep them - you can keep them longer if you want)
This week on Tuesday, Allison is going to the zoo and Jacob and I are going canoeing. Wednesday is clean out your desk day and field day for Jacob and 6th grade farewell day and field day for Allison. Thursday sends Allison roller skating and to the mall to hang out (yes, you read that correctly), while Jacob will take his turn at the zoo. Friday is.... well... the last day, a 1/2 day.
And if you think this past week was full of end-of-the-school-year work, you would be mistaken. Both kids had field trips, and I picked Jacob up one day to find they'd just had extended recess most of the afternoon. Allison was taking Barbies in for math.
I get it. The kids are done and so are the teachers. Hell, I was mentally done with my semester about April 1. But - quit trying to write little paragraphs on the permission forms justifying the "educational reasons" for bringing a comedy troop to school for an afternoon. Just be honest. The kids are too squirrelly to teach, the report cards are already filled out, and everyone is sick of looking at each other.
This week on Tuesday, Allison is going to the zoo and Jacob and I are going canoeing. Wednesday is clean out your desk day and field day for Jacob and 6th grade farewell day and field day for Allison. Thursday sends Allison roller skating and to the mall to hang out (yes, you read that correctly), while Jacob will take his turn at the zoo. Friday is.... well... the last day, a 1/2 day.
And if you think this past week was full of end-of-the-school-year work, you would be mistaken. Both kids had field trips, and I picked Jacob up one day to find they'd just had extended recess most of the afternoon. Allison was taking Barbies in for math.
I get it. The kids are done and so are the teachers. Hell, I was mentally done with my semester about April 1. But - quit trying to write little paragraphs on the permission forms justifying the "educational reasons" for bringing a comedy troop to school for an afternoon. Just be honest. The kids are too squirrelly to teach, the report cards are already filled out, and everyone is sick of looking at each other.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Activity, schmactivity
I was pretty certain that I was a reasonably active person who ate fairly healthily. I mean - we never have fast food. We cook most meals at home. And I - you know - leave the house somewhat daily.
The fact that the scale kept creeping slowly upward over the last 10 years was certainly due to the effects of naturally slowing metabolism - because - I still see myself the same way I did when I was 25 - happily delusional.
Well, I now have a Fitbit and a MyFitnessPal app to quantify how wrong I was about basically every point above. Except the slowing metabolism... I'm pretty sure that's still true, but my belief about it's relative importance is certainly diminishing.
For instance - today - I got up, got the kids ready for school, drove them to school, came home and worked for 2 hours at my computer trying to staff the engineering classes next year. A pretty productive morning. 744 steps. 744!! That's less than 10% of 10,000 at it's 11am. Know what I'm doing this afternoon? Sitting at a computer advising incoming freshman students and preparing my summer online class.
So I have to make time to walk, something I was not doing before.
And food - 2000 calories does not go as far as I think it should. I had a jello jiggler the other day thinking that it was a nice high-protein snack. 100 calories! One little jello square. And a "serving" of cereal is like 3/4 of a cup. Do they think we're all toddlers? I measured out 3/4 of a cup and it was not much.
The MyFitnessPal app is funny though with it's food commentary. So, sometimes I'll eat something unhealthy (like a Starbucks Latte) and I'll get a little green symbol that says "this food is high in protein" or whatever. You know - keep up with the Starbucks habit, it's clearly good for you. Not like that handful of dried apricots and nuts which has way too much sugar and sodium. Perhaps the app gets a kickback from Starbucks, I don't know.
I'm trying to prepare for all my high altitude activity on this summer's vacation by coming to terms with my sloth-like self, and by trying to be as active as I believe myself to be. Or - half as active as I believe myself to be. :)
The fact that the scale kept creeping slowly upward over the last 10 years was certainly due to the effects of naturally slowing metabolism - because - I still see myself the same way I did when I was 25 - happily delusional.
Well, I now have a Fitbit and a MyFitnessPal app to quantify how wrong I was about basically every point above. Except the slowing metabolism... I'm pretty sure that's still true, but my belief about it's relative importance is certainly diminishing.
For instance - today - I got up, got the kids ready for school, drove them to school, came home and worked for 2 hours at my computer trying to staff the engineering classes next year. A pretty productive morning. 744 steps. 744!! That's less than 10% of 10,000 at it's 11am. Know what I'm doing this afternoon? Sitting at a computer advising incoming freshman students and preparing my summer online class.
So I have to make time to walk, something I was not doing before.
And food - 2000 calories does not go as far as I think it should. I had a jello jiggler the other day thinking that it was a nice high-protein snack. 100 calories! One little jello square. And a "serving" of cereal is like 3/4 of a cup. Do they think we're all toddlers? I measured out 3/4 of a cup and it was not much.
The MyFitnessPal app is funny though with it's food commentary. So, sometimes I'll eat something unhealthy (like a Starbucks Latte) and I'll get a little green symbol that says "this food is high in protein" or whatever. You know - keep up with the Starbucks habit, it's clearly good for you. Not like that handful of dried apricots and nuts which has way too much sugar and sodium. Perhaps the app gets a kickback from Starbucks, I don't know.
I'm trying to prepare for all my high altitude activity on this summer's vacation by coming to terms with my sloth-like self, and by trying to be as active as I believe myself to be. Or - half as active as I believe myself to be. :)
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Piano recital
Don't let Jacob know you saw this.... He was opposed to being 'published on the internet' but Grandparents want to see!
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Where's the end?
Another installment of: I Decided To Teach College to Avoid This Type of Sh..oops.. Crap.
I had to send an e-mail to someone, the content of which boiled down to "No, I will not call that student's mother because she's upset that I did not respond to her son's e-mail in what she considered to be a timely fashion."
1) her son missed my four available weeks of advising times. Four weeks. Four. Weeks.
2) I had responded to his FIRST e-mail.
3) I had talked to him in the hallway.
But - of course - I'll drop what I'm doing now (you know - teaching the people who are in fact my students) to call this kid's mother "ASAP."
Speaking of - if I were to have entertained the idea of returning this phone call, federal guidlines prevent me from having a conversation with her about her son because he's an ADULT.
I had to send an e-mail to someone, the content of which boiled down to "No, I will not call that student's mother because she's upset that I did not respond to her son's e-mail in what she considered to be a timely fashion."
1) her son missed my four available weeks of advising times. Four weeks. Four. Weeks.
2) I had responded to his FIRST e-mail.
3) I had talked to him in the hallway.
But - of course - I'll drop what I'm doing now (you know - teaching the people who are in fact my students) to call this kid's mother "ASAP."
Speaking of - if I were to have entertained the idea of returning this phone call, federal guidlines prevent me from having a conversation with her about her son because he's an ADULT.
Monday, May 4, 2015
Opening Day
Saturday was opening day for Appleton Little League.
The pics are not great because we were behind the fence.
Let me just say.... kid pitch baseball can be boring as hell. I've been told it will get a little better as the season wears on.... but holy moly that was a long two hours.
In the machine pitch league, most batters get a hit. That makes the game move along and provide some excitement. In kid-pitch, they are either strike outs or walks. There were very few hits. There was base-stealing, which seemed like pretty much a foregone conclusion if the pitch did not go directly to the catcher (and even sometimes when it did).
So, the game was more-or-less played between the pitcher and the catcher and the kids on the field were.... well... insurance. Anyway.... yikers. This might be a long season.
Let me just say.... kid pitch baseball can be boring as hell. I've been told it will get a little better as the season wears on.... but holy moly that was a long two hours.
In the machine pitch league, most batters get a hit. That makes the game move along and provide some excitement. In kid-pitch, they are either strike outs or walks. There were very few hits. There was base-stealing, which seemed like pretty much a foregone conclusion if the pitch did not go directly to the catcher (and even sometimes when it did).
So, the game was more-or-less played between the pitcher and the catcher and the kids on the field were.... well... insurance. Anyway.... yikers. This might be a long season.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
To all the no-longer teachers
Want to remember why you left teaching? Let me remind you.
1) Grading. OMG, I'm so far behind on grading. Perhaps my summer vacation will be spent reading a book on teaching without grading. Is there such a book? There must be.
Here's my issues with grading:
a) students rarely look at anything beyond the number - UNLESS - all you put on there is a number. I'm pretty sure they like the idea that you've given them feedback more than they like the feedback. Here - let me spend several hours giving you detailed feedback on what you should improve = same mistakes next time. Fine, not worth my time, so here's a number of points. "Wait - why did I lose 2 points here? I don't understand why Jimmy got 5 points and I got 4.5 points."
I think I might start writing illegible gibberish just to look like feedback.
b) partial credit. I'm going to move to an all-or-nothing system. No partial credit ever. I fielded a question today on would I let them turn in work FROM A MULTIPLE CHOICE EXAM for partial credit. Um. No. You don't get to have "the best of both worlds" when it comes to tests. Either you can solve the problem having no idea what the answer might be and I'll give you some credit for trying if you get it wrong. OR - you can have the opportunity to see a select set of possible answers and choose the one supported by your work. You can't use a set of answers to get "pretty close" to the correct answer and then ask for partial credit on it. I don't know if you worked from the problem to the answer or from the answer backwards. Either way - you have a 25% chance of getting it right by guessing! You don't get to take the correct score for the shit you guessed on and then add more points for the ones you didn't.
c) extra credit. You are in college. There is no more extra credit. Welcome to Life.
2) Annoying students. This semester I have a student who sits through my class without taking any notes "to better pay attention to what I'm saying" and then comes in to my office for an extra hour a week because he can't figure out how to do the homework problems. You know what would help. NOTES. I even suggested that he just periodically take out his cell phone and snap a picture of the whiteboard. Nope.
I've also been asked for extra credit, partial credit (see above), and credit for trying. I've had students tell me that they can't make the final exam time - THE DATE WAS AVAILABLE ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE SEMESTER. You had 4 months to figure it out. I have no sympathy.
And then students who expect me to solve their problems. knock-knock.... here's the horrible story of my life right now and why I was unable to do x,y,z. My response: I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Student: so....... Me: so........ long awkward pause. Here's the thing. I don't pretend to know anyone's motivations. If you have something going on - come to me with a PLAN. My brother died, could I have an extra week to do this assignment? Me: yes, sure. Student: My brother died. Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
Which one got you what you wanted? I don't know what will work for you and if I propose something unworkable - then I'm the one who ends up being unreasonable. "My brother died and Prof. Douglas only gave a 2 day extension. It was due on the same day as the funeral. Can you believe it?"
I know that it's the end of the year and I am tired and grumpy. It feels a little better to rant for a few minutes.
1) Grading. OMG, I'm so far behind on grading. Perhaps my summer vacation will be spent reading a book on teaching without grading. Is there such a book? There must be.
Here's my issues with grading:
a) students rarely look at anything beyond the number - UNLESS - all you put on there is a number. I'm pretty sure they like the idea that you've given them feedback more than they like the feedback. Here - let me spend several hours giving you detailed feedback on what you should improve = same mistakes next time. Fine, not worth my time, so here's a number of points. "Wait - why did I lose 2 points here? I don't understand why Jimmy got 5 points and I got 4.5 points."
I think I might start writing illegible gibberish just to look like feedback.
b) partial credit. I'm going to move to an all-or-nothing system. No partial credit ever. I fielded a question today on would I let them turn in work FROM A MULTIPLE CHOICE EXAM for partial credit. Um. No. You don't get to have "the best of both worlds" when it comes to tests. Either you can solve the problem having no idea what the answer might be and I'll give you some credit for trying if you get it wrong. OR - you can have the opportunity to see a select set of possible answers and choose the one supported by your work. You can't use a set of answers to get "pretty close" to the correct answer and then ask for partial credit on it. I don't know if you worked from the problem to the answer or from the answer backwards. Either way - you have a 25% chance of getting it right by guessing! You don't get to take the correct score for the shit you guessed on and then add more points for the ones you didn't.
c) extra credit. You are in college. There is no more extra credit. Welcome to Life.
2) Annoying students. This semester I have a student who sits through my class without taking any notes "to better pay attention to what I'm saying" and then comes in to my office for an extra hour a week because he can't figure out how to do the homework problems. You know what would help. NOTES. I even suggested that he just periodically take out his cell phone and snap a picture of the whiteboard. Nope.
I've also been asked for extra credit, partial credit (see above), and credit for trying. I've had students tell me that they can't make the final exam time - THE DATE WAS AVAILABLE ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE SEMESTER. You had 4 months to figure it out. I have no sympathy.
And then students who expect me to solve their problems. knock-knock.... here's the horrible story of my life right now and why I was unable to do x,y,z. My response: I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Student: so....... Me: so........ long awkward pause. Here's the thing. I don't pretend to know anyone's motivations. If you have something going on - come to me with a PLAN. My brother died, could I have an extra week to do this assignment? Me: yes, sure. Student: My brother died. Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
Which one got you what you wanted? I don't know what will work for you and if I propose something unworkable - then I'm the one who ends up being unreasonable. "My brother died and Prof. Douglas only gave a 2 day extension. It was due on the same day as the funeral. Can you believe it?"
I know that it's the end of the year and I am tired and grumpy. It feels a little better to rant for a few minutes.
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Time past
The next new phase - puberty - medically verified.
We've been taking Allison to the endocrinologist about every six months for about the last few years. We've been working under the assumption that she was following a "late bloomer" pattern and her bone age scans indicated growth plate space and "young" bones.
Well, the last six months kinda creeped up on us and Allison hit puberty. I blame our lack of recognizing this on a few things.
1) her monstrously fast growing brother, who looks every day like he's prepared for flood waters by cropping his pants. When both of them are growing at the same freakishly fast rate - there's nothing to compare with. The "control group" was not stable.
2) that girl wears nothing but skirts. Sure - that ankle length skirt is now a mid-calf skirt; but it still looks good and it's not totally noticeable.
3) she's still the shortest person her age around. Again - comparatively speaking - she has not caught up.
So, what does this mean? Well, her most recent bone age suggested a pretty typical 12 year old. Yep - her actual age. Not three years behind, not "lots of time to grow." The doctor predicted that she's 'maybe' hit 5 feet tall when she's done. But, I'm not sure he'd put a wager down on that.
I'm a little annoyed that we've been watching and waiting under the assumption that we had more time. OTOH, I'm not sure I would have changed anything even if we would have known. So, perhaps I'm just annoyed in general. Or maybe I just like that idea that there were options (if we wanted them) and now there are not more options.
We were left with the directive to "maximize her nutrition over the next 6 months" to take advantage of the growing that she's doing. I would love a doctor to tell me to eat as much as I wanted....
We've been taking Allison to the endocrinologist about every six months for about the last few years. We've been working under the assumption that she was following a "late bloomer" pattern and her bone age scans indicated growth plate space and "young" bones.
Well, the last six months kinda creeped up on us and Allison hit puberty. I blame our lack of recognizing this on a few things.
1) her monstrously fast growing brother, who looks every day like he's prepared for flood waters by cropping his pants. When both of them are growing at the same freakishly fast rate - there's nothing to compare with. The "control group" was not stable.
2) that girl wears nothing but skirts. Sure - that ankle length skirt is now a mid-calf skirt; but it still looks good and it's not totally noticeable.
3) she's still the shortest person her age around. Again - comparatively speaking - she has not caught up.
So, what does this mean? Well, her most recent bone age suggested a pretty typical 12 year old. Yep - her actual age. Not three years behind, not "lots of time to grow." The doctor predicted that she's 'maybe' hit 5 feet tall when she's done. But, I'm not sure he'd put a wager down on that.
I'm a little annoyed that we've been watching and waiting under the assumption that we had more time. OTOH, I'm not sure I would have changed anything even if we would have known. So, perhaps I'm just annoyed in general. Or maybe I just like that idea that there were options (if we wanted them) and now there are not more options.
We were left with the directive to "maximize her nutrition over the next 6 months" to take advantage of the growing that she's doing. I would love a doctor to tell me to eat as much as I wanted....
Friday, March 6, 2015
Are you done blogging?
So - there haven't been too many blog posts lately. There are three main reasons for that.
First, I've been crazy busy. The kids stuff is taking up more time. I'm trying to work a little more for the final push for tenure, provided my governor doesn't abolish it in the next 6 months, which would really piss me off. And we've been working on projects around the house. Yay - floors!
Secondly, I don't have that much that is interesting to say. Since our days are filled with work, more work, and kids stuff.... it's kindof mundane. As everyone gets older, there are fewer "new" things going on.... fewer "firsts."
Which leads me to the primary reason I think I'm not writing as much any more - the interesting things that do happen are happening to the kids and not to me. At some point, the story of their days is less about mom and more about them. As they get older they are more self-conscious, and I respect that they won't want everyone to know about everything in their lives anymore (It's NOT a pimple, Mom. I. don't. get. PIMPLES!).
Additionally, I've been consciously trying to step back a little and let them be more self-directed. Admittedly, this has varying success, as Allison loves to make big bowls of ice cream as soon as we leave the house. But, they need to be more independent and I need to let them and I need to quit writing about them for the world to see. Someday they might read this.... GASP!
I may find a new thread to occupy the blog. I can chronicle the last 8 months pre-tenure. That would be Exciting. Or maybe we'll just periodically post a picture or two. Who knows.
First, I've been crazy busy. The kids stuff is taking up more time. I'm trying to work a little more for the final push for tenure, provided my governor doesn't abolish it in the next 6 months, which would really piss me off. And we've been working on projects around the house. Yay - floors!
Secondly, I don't have that much that is interesting to say. Since our days are filled with work, more work, and kids stuff.... it's kindof mundane. As everyone gets older, there are fewer "new" things going on.... fewer "firsts."
Which leads me to the primary reason I think I'm not writing as much any more - the interesting things that do happen are happening to the kids and not to me. At some point, the story of their days is less about mom and more about them. As they get older they are more self-conscious, and I respect that they won't want everyone to know about everything in their lives anymore (It's NOT a pimple, Mom. I. don't. get. PIMPLES!).
Additionally, I've been consciously trying to step back a little and let them be more self-directed. Admittedly, this has varying success, as Allison loves to make big bowls of ice cream as soon as we leave the house. But, they need to be more independent and I need to let them and I need to quit writing about them for the world to see. Someday they might read this.... GASP!
I may find a new thread to occupy the blog. I can chronicle the last 8 months pre-tenure. That would be Exciting. Or maybe we'll just periodically post a picture or two. Who knows.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
3 days
We have three days to convince Allison she wants to go to camp. Good luck to us. :)
Our kids are going off to camp this summer. Each one a week. Without us. Jacob is super excited to go to the YMCA camp and probably equally excited that his cousin Paddy is going with him. He's full of logical kid-camp questions, like "Where will we sleep? How big is the lake? Do we get to fish? Do we get to swim? Are there bathrooms?"
Allison, OTOH, is full of reasons why camp is a terrible, terrible idea. "I don't want to go. I'll miss you. I'll miss the cat. I don't have room in my life for any more friends." Her camp would be for kids with disabilities that are specifically social needs - like Asperger's, ADHD, or high-functioning autism. She has to interview for a spot in the camp, and the interview is Sunday.
Mostly, she probably has the exact same concerns Jacob has because it's a new experience and she has no context for it. However, where Jacob throws his concerns into the Grand New Adventure category; Allison has thrown hers into the Massive Source of Anxiety category.
So, we're pushing her a little. Twelve year olds can go to camp. They can be independent and meet new people and get outside their comfort zone and it's OK. Reassure me. Then reassure her.
Our kids are going off to camp this summer. Each one a week. Without us. Jacob is super excited to go to the YMCA camp and probably equally excited that his cousin Paddy is going with him. He's full of logical kid-camp questions, like "Where will we sleep? How big is the lake? Do we get to fish? Do we get to swim? Are there bathrooms?"
Allison, OTOH, is full of reasons why camp is a terrible, terrible idea. "I don't want to go. I'll miss you. I'll miss the cat. I don't have room in my life for any more friends." Her camp would be for kids with disabilities that are specifically social needs - like Asperger's, ADHD, or high-functioning autism. She has to interview for a spot in the camp, and the interview is Sunday.
Mostly, she probably has the exact same concerns Jacob has because it's a new experience and she has no context for it. However, where Jacob throws his concerns into the Grand New Adventure category; Allison has thrown hers into the Massive Source of Anxiety category.
So, we're pushing her a little. Twelve year olds can go to camp. They can be independent and meet new people and get outside their comfort zone and it's OK. Reassure me. Then reassure her.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
My thoughts on why Wisconsin politics is frustrating
They are, once again, dire times for higher education in Wisconsin. (why did we move here? oh yeah - the weather!)
There's a hidden seed of hatred in my heart, one that used to blossom whenever I thought of George W. Bush's pointless war efforts; and now returns when I see a photo of our illustrious governor, Scott Walker. He's just.... so.... smug.
So to balance an unfunded property tax cut (ooooo - we all got like $25!!!) he's proposing a $300 million dollar budget cut to the UW System, along with a tuition freeze for two years (so he can look good when he campaigns for president), in exchange for "some" freedom of the UW System to get out from under so much legislative control.
Well.... start saving that $25 now because you're going to need it when tuition at UW Madison goes up $5000. I'd have to save my $25 tax break for how many years to cover that .... oh .... 200 years! Well, good deal for me!
Perhaps my kids would rather attend UW-Oshkosh who might raise their tuition a measly $2000. And live at home! Wait.... I think none of us want that.
Sometime society decided that college is primarily a jobs training program. And as a jobs-training program, the benefits of a college education go directly to the individual who receives the education. Ergo - the individual should have to pay for said education since that individual is reaping the benefits.
EXCEPT - that when costs began to be passed off to the individual (or rather, their parents) we all threw a collective shit-fit about rising tuition costs. Newsflash! The cost of educating people has not gone up. Your state quit giving you a scholarship in the form of state support to your university system.
So - here's the deal - we cannot have our cake and eat it too. It costs money to run a college. We can privatize the whole damn thing and taxpayers can quit "supporting" those fat cat academics. Let the market sort it out, but likely a quality education will cost about $20,000 a year. (But think of all the taxes we'll save!!!). We'll price out low income and place-bound students. But that's OK. I mean, if the return on an investment will pay out in increased salary, then the market will adjust accordingly. And all those people who don't realize that.... well.... this is 'Murica and there's bootstraps and all that. Besides, there's always factories to go work in. Oh, wait.....
OR - we can keep tuition down by giving students within our state a scholarship (in the form of tax dollars from state to university) to attend the public university in our state at a subsidized cost. We keep in-state tuition low and accessible to all residents. Oh, we'll also be supplying businesses in our state with a healthy and steady stream of educated professionals to work for them. We'll be richer because we'll have artists and businesses and low crime. We'll be happier because we won't be pulling our hair out, concerned about how to pay for a quality education for our kids. Terrible!!! I have to give back my $25!!!
And - I swear - if I hear about ANYONE I know voting for Scott Walker for President - I may never speak to you again. Republican? .... I can find you someone better than this cheesewad turd trying to ooze his way beyond the cheddar curtain.
There's a hidden seed of hatred in my heart, one that used to blossom whenever I thought of George W. Bush's pointless war efforts; and now returns when I see a photo of our illustrious governor, Scott Walker. He's just.... so.... smug.
So to balance an unfunded property tax cut (ooooo - we all got like $25!!!) he's proposing a $300 million dollar budget cut to the UW System, along with a tuition freeze for two years (so he can look good when he campaigns for president), in exchange for "some" freedom of the UW System to get out from under so much legislative control.
Well.... start saving that $25 now because you're going to need it when tuition at UW Madison goes up $5000. I'd have to save my $25 tax break for how many years to cover that .... oh .... 200 years! Well, good deal for me!
Perhaps my kids would rather attend UW-Oshkosh who might raise their tuition a measly $2000. And live at home! Wait.... I think none of us want that.
Sometime society decided that college is primarily a jobs training program. And as a jobs-training program, the benefits of a college education go directly to the individual who receives the education. Ergo - the individual should have to pay for said education since that individual is reaping the benefits.
EXCEPT - that when costs began to be passed off to the individual (or rather, their parents) we all threw a collective shit-fit about rising tuition costs. Newsflash! The cost of educating people has not gone up. Your state quit giving you a scholarship in the form of state support to your university system.
So - here's the deal - we cannot have our cake and eat it too. It costs money to run a college. We can privatize the whole damn thing and taxpayers can quit "supporting" those fat cat academics. Let the market sort it out, but likely a quality education will cost about $20,000 a year. (But think of all the taxes we'll save!!!). We'll price out low income and place-bound students. But that's OK. I mean, if the return on an investment will pay out in increased salary, then the market will adjust accordingly. And all those people who don't realize that.... well.... this is 'Murica and there's bootstraps and all that. Besides, there's always factories to go work in. Oh, wait.....
OR - we can keep tuition down by giving students within our state a scholarship (in the form of tax dollars from state to university) to attend the public university in our state at a subsidized cost. We keep in-state tuition low and accessible to all residents. Oh, we'll also be supplying businesses in our state with a healthy and steady stream of educated professionals to work for them. We'll be richer because we'll have artists and businesses and low crime. We'll be happier because we won't be pulling our hair out, concerned about how to pay for a quality education for our kids. Terrible!!! I have to give back my $25!!!
And - I swear - if I hear about ANYONE I know voting for Scott Walker for President - I may never speak to you again. Republican? .... I can find you someone better than this cheesewad turd trying to ooze his way beyond the cheddar curtain.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Use a fireplace? Please have it inspected for me.
What do you do when your neighbor's house is on fire? You stare out the window.....
And you get sufficiently freaked out to swear off using your fireplace ever again (as if you had ever used it in all the time you've lived in your current house because you were already unreasonably afraid of house fires).
You then realize your son had been over at said house probably no less than 30 minutes before because he'd left his sleds in their garage earlier when playing with his friend who lives there. And you wonder (somewhere in the back of your mind) if opening the front door to let him in / out somehow send a burst of oxygen up through the chimney in such a way as to ignite the smoldering creosote even though you know it's an irrational thought. You worry more that he might have just as easily been playing in the basement with them. Your eyes tear up a little when he runs to to window and his voice cracks when he asks if everyone got out.
And then you feel very deep sympathy for having to move a family of 7 into a rental home while "extensive water damage" is cleaned up and the chimney, roof, and baby's room are repaired. Your thankful for an alert passerby, everyone's safety, and the fact that the damage can be repaired.
Finally, you sortof marvel at the combination of sympathy, fear, morbid curiosity, and relief of everyone else - from the crowds that gathered to watch the fire trucks to the increased traffic on the street the next day, to the informal conversations with other neighbors as news trickles out. And everyone feels a bit helpless with the need to DO something when there really isn't a lot that can be done.
And you get sufficiently freaked out to swear off using your fireplace ever again (as if you had ever used it in all the time you've lived in your current house because you were already unreasonably afraid of house fires).
You then realize your son had been over at said house probably no less than 30 minutes before because he'd left his sleds in their garage earlier when playing with his friend who lives there. And you wonder (somewhere in the back of your mind) if opening the front door to let him in / out somehow send a burst of oxygen up through the chimney in such a way as to ignite the smoldering creosote even though you know it's an irrational thought. You worry more that he might have just as easily been playing in the basement with them. Your eyes tear up a little when he runs to to window and his voice cracks when he asks if everyone got out.
And then you feel very deep sympathy for having to move a family of 7 into a rental home while "extensive water damage" is cleaned up and the chimney, roof, and baby's room are repaired. Your thankful for an alert passerby, everyone's safety, and the fact that the damage can be repaired.
Finally, you sortof marvel at the combination of sympathy, fear, morbid curiosity, and relief of everyone else - from the crowds that gathered to watch the fire trucks to the increased traffic on the street the next day, to the informal conversations with other neighbors as news trickles out. And everyone feels a bit helpless with the need to DO something when there really isn't a lot that can be done.
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