The proprietery playdate

One side effect of the growth of playdates is the notion that they are some type of sacred contract between the invited and invitee. I seem to remember a much more organic style of playing when I was young. I would call Megan Stevens and we'd say something like "wanna play?" and then one of the other of us would be running through the backyards to get together. I also remember playing with multiple kids at a time (the three-is-a-crowd lesson learned over and over again). Maybe I have a rosy remembrance of the past.

The kids had a half-day today and the neighbor boy, who is in Jacob's class, had a playdate with another boy who is also in Jacob's class. I tried to keep Jacob entertained and we called several other friends because Jacob was pretty desperate to play with someone. No luck - many people were taking the long weekend to head out of town.

So after a few hours, Jacob ended up standing on the edge of the lawn staring over at the other two boys playing. I suggested that he simply go over and ask if he could play too. The more, the merrier, right? After a little back and forth between the boys, Jacob was invited to join them. Less than 5 minutes later, Jacob had been sent home by the neighbor dad.

I can kindof see two sides of the issue - one, Jacob and the neighbor get to play together often and played most of the afternoon last Friday until the neighbor was sent to his room for being mean to Jacob (a dynamic that is probably worthy of it's own post). The classmate wasn't invited over to play with the neighbor AND Jacob - also the playdate might have been a conscious effort to have the neighbor play with someone specifically other than Jacob.

But the other hand is that after he's been invited to join by the two boys - it seemed rude for the neighbor dad to then promptly send him home. It couldn't have been that the playdate classmate was excluded from play - there wasn't enough time for that.

I've decided that the neighbor dad just doesn't like his kids playing with our kids. I've talked to enough parents with similar stories to know this isn't a unique situation. I'm sure there were kids I played with that my parents didn't care for. I don't ever remember my parents sending anyone home. "I'm sorry Lori..... Jamie and Nancy are playing right now."

Jacob is now happily playing with his friend Dominic. No lingering problems other Mom trying to keep her opinions to herself.