Immaculate

There is a simple reason why my house is not immaculate:  I don't care enough.

There are a lot of reasons why people keep immaculate houses.  Perhaps they expect visitors to drop by on a moment's notice.  Perhaps they have OCD.  Isn't there some quote about cleanliness leads to godliness?  Perhaps they subscribe to the "a place for everything and everything in it's place" mantra.

My mantra is this: clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy.  I do look around (often) and think - wow it would be nice for all these horizontal surfaces to be free of "piles" and the toy area to look more organized than haphazardly piled.  Sometimes I clean the kitchen for the sole purpose of making a mess in it again - a.k.a. cooking.  But then I think of the 80-20 rule and decide it's good enough.  I can spend 15 minutes "picking up" a room or an hour cleaning it - and I'm choosing the 15 minutes almost every time.  Why? - multiply an hour by 8 rooms and that's a whole day cleaning!

One flaw in my system (yes, see how I call it a "system" to give it some more legitimacy) is that it's confusing to the kids.  I say "clean up your mess" and what does that mean?  Throw it all in the toy bin in your room with the lid on it so mom can't see but then when you go to play you have to take it all back out again to find the one little shoe missing from Tinkerbell's outfit?  Or does it mean sort and organize so that all the fairies are in one bin, barbies in another, star wars separated from star wars lego?  If my house were immaculate - the end point of cleaning would be clear. 

It's true - I see clean houses and kindof want that.  It's also entirely possible for me to organize and have an immaculate house.  I believe that I am capable of it.  I just don't WANT it badly enough.  I want it vaguely from a distance like "gee that would be be nice."   I rationalize that my friends like me for my winning personality, not my immaculate house.  Also - I can always arrange to meet them in neutral locations - like Starbucks. 

I do need to hunt for a cleaning service this summer, due to my strong aversion to using anything chemical other than kitchen counter spray.  Perhaps that will elevate the house from "picked up" to "clean" ..... at least once every other week, that is. 

Toilet Paper Math

What has me whipping my phone calculator out in the grocery store?  Answer - toilet paper.  Since Brian's days at P&G, we've been a Charmin family and I don't really consider other brands.  Which is good...... since Charmin does a fair job giving me choices all by itself.

First - extra strong or extra soft?  (I exclude 'basic' from the get-go).  Ok - is there some rule about toilet paper not being both strong and soft??  Also, if it's not basic - is it deluxe?  We choose strong - it is moderately soft and who wants toilet paper that might fall apart?  (actually, I can't tell a lick of different between soft and strong - so I defer to the former paper engineer.)

Second - do I want 12 mega rolls or 8 super rolls?  Or 16 giant rolls?  16 giant rolls might be $14, while the 12 mega rolls are $9 and the 8 super rolls are $4.  But the math is not that simple people - because 16 giant rolls is not twice as much toilet paper as 8 super rolls.  Each super roll is 2 regular roll but 16 giant rolls is 4 regular rolls; and a mega roll is 3 regular rolls! 

To determine the best deal on toilet paper I have to compare the prices per number of regular rolls.  (what's the MOST funny is that toilet paper is the ONLY product in the store that I am consistantly worried about getting the best value for - there may be twice as much cereal for only $1 more and I think - "yeah, but I don't want that much").

P&G is nice enough to provide the regular roll conversion for you on the front of the package.  None-the-less, I have to divide the prices by large numbers ($14/36 versus $9.52/24).  I try to do the 24 is 2/3 of 36 so what is 2/3 of $14 and is that more than or less than $9?  $9 + $4.5 is $13.50 which is a little less than $14, but when I factor in the $0.52 fudge factor it's too close!!

So yeah - I got out my calculator to ENSURE that I got the best deal on Charmin extra strong.

Strawberries galore!

We joined a new CSA this summer.  We ordered not only a veggie, but a fruit share.  Holy yumminess!  Although I was super excited about the first flat of strawberries in week 1; I was a little less sure of what to do with the flat of strawberries in week 2.  So far, we've made four batches of strawberry balsamic jam (they are pretty small batches), strawberry syrup, strawberry/watermelon lemonade, strawberry/raspberry/watermelon lemonade, strawberry shortcake, strawberry/rhubarb soda, strawberry/rhubarb compote, strawberry pie, and homemade strawberry pop tarts. 

We were also fortunate to have a friend drop off a big box of tart cherries, especially since 95% of the Door County cherry crop was wiped out due to a warm March and cold April.  Those cherries have been cleaned, pitted, and frozen and are awaiting their futures in pie.  Perhaps also a few will make it into cherry pop tarts.

So this week, I'm really kindof hoping for raspberries, as I'm running out of strawberry recipes.  Also, I seem to clean the kitchen only to make another mess in it shortly thereafter.  I guess there could be worse things.....

Less than fully formed

Sometimes blog posts marinate a while.  It may be that I’m trying to decide if I really want to write about a specific topic, or I can’t quite form the ideas into a coherent story, or I have a great idea that will likely offend someone and I keep it to myself.  This one has been brewing for a couple weeks, may not be a coherent story, and totally could offend someone.  But this morning’s paper pushed me to complete it.  Why this morning’s paper?  Well, there’s a column written by our neighbor.  And this morning she wrote about how blessed they were.

The neighbor’s daughter had a terrible accident two weeks ago.  She fell off the side of a high dive and landed stomach first on the edge of the pool.  Five days in the hospital in Madison and a lacerated liver later and she’s been back at home in good spirits since.  She was actually over playing with Allison today.  So the story has a happy ending and that’s important.  Above all else, I’m really, really glad that it was not more serious because it easily could have been and that’s always you fear as your kids venture further from you.  SOMETHING might happen.  That SOMETHING might be tragic.

So, we’re happy she’s well.  Very happy.  But that relief was followed by two pretty (for lack of a better term) un-Christian thoughts.  #1 – “gee, those kids get manage to get injured easily enough under the watch of their own parents.”  This, as you may or may not know, stems from an incident two years ago when Allison hit Lucas with an apple-picker and the neighbors declared that their children could not play around Allison unless they were supervised (presumably by me).  All the details were sketchy because Allison and Lucas were the only ones outside and the two of them are like oil and water – but the details are less important than the outcome- which is that they felt that Allison was a threat to the wellbeing of their children.  This is not something easily forgotten.  However, since then Lucas fell and broke his arm (while at the park with their dad); Ben got several stitches playing football at school; and Grace lacerated a liver (while at the pool with her mom).  Injuries acquired while at our house – one apple picker incident which did not even require a band aid.  (insert me knocking on wood here).  To the neighbors, WE are that house that your kids like to play at that makes you wonder whether there are liquor bottles lining the kitchen and nudie calendars posted in the workshop; which - by the way - is full of power saws with no safety locks and a gun cabinet in full view.  (Oh, wait, that was my friend Lisa’s house growing up).  Whatever – Brian and I are THOSE PEOPLE.

Thought  #2 – jealousy.  Well, not so much as thought as a feeling.  Yeah, not particularly proud of this one, and it took me a little while to put my finger on it exactly.  In the age of Facebook, you get to spread news near and far in an instant and have a community of support right away.  This is one of the great advantages of social media.  That we can reach out and support one another in times of need is awesome.  But as the conversation thankfully turned to “keep her in your thoughts” to “it’s all going to be OK” there was a slightly insidious message that started to take hold and one that was reiterated on Facebook, in messages, and in face-to-face conversations.  It went something like this: “we were so lucky.  It could have been so much worse. She won’t be able to do this or that activity for a while, but in the grand-scheme of things – one summer without soccer is not so bad.  Even the doctors were surprised that was her only injury.  We’re so blessed, she must really have Someone looking out for her because it could have been terrible.”

And here is where the bug got me – because it IS going to be OK.  There aren’t any long term effects.  She’ll weather this storm as a blip in the road and go right on back to being totally “normal.”  And “wow – was that scary, but thankfully NOTHING’S WRONG.”  Because clearly, the counter point is that if there is something WRONG you are not blessed.  You are not lucky.  Someone is not looking out for you.  So, yeah, I’m glad that nothing has marred the perfect future you envision for your child.  I’m glad that you feel blessed to have no LONG-TERM effects.  No sneaky demons that creep up when you least expect.  And you get to pat yourself on the back and think that all that clean living is really paying off.  Way to go – here’s your gold star!

So for your daughter, who I wish no ill will upon what-so-ever, I’m really happy that things are OK.  But a small part of me wishes that you could experience some of what it’s like to have problems that don’t go away so easily; that carry some long-term uncertainty; because then you might have a little more understanding and empathy.  Understanding that sometimes not being ‘OK’ is also a blessing; and those who sometimes seem “wrong” are lucky and have Someone looking out for them too.

Answer Key

Follow-up

Long day in Madison, but not due to Allison's doctor's appointment.  I squeezed in a meeting with the online program director, we swung by Toy's R Us to pick up a birthday present, and ate lunch at McDonald's (ugh). 

But - good news for Allison - on her higher calorie diet she's gained 3 pounds and 2 cm in the last 5 months.  That means she's now moving parallel to the growth curve rather than askew to the growth curve.  Also, it's a pretty normal growth rate for her age (5cm/yr).  This means, we keep pushing calories and watch and wait another 6 months.  The doctor felt (based on her bone age scans) that she was going to hit puberty later than average, and there may likely come a time when we might use a low dose of hormone to stimulate growth.  Growth flattens out slightly right before puberty/at the very beginning of puberty (and the growth system "weakens") - and we might try to keep her growing more during that period, which will likely be extended for her and late.  Meanwhile her peers will be shooting up massively in height so that the differential height gets more pronounced.

But, my thinking is that even 5cm/yr for the next 6 years is going to add a foot of height.  It's not WNBA tall - but it's not Snooki short either.

News, news, more news

Summer is many things for the kids - relaxing, playing, camping - but it's also time to get in all the appointments that we never get around to during the year.  Doctors and dentists and haircuts - oh my!

Thus far, Jacob has had his 7-yr check up.  He grew three inches and gained 7 pounds this year - keeping pace with the 75%-line.  There wasn't much else to say, and I've found myself sometimes at a loss in the doctor's office when I don't have more to discuss.  The doctor's like "looks good - any questions?" and I have this moment of panic like: OMG I have no questions.

Allison has thus far been focusing on her teeth - but eyes and hormones are coming up soon.  The check-up at the dentist yielded no new cavities (there are two spots they are *watching*) and she's finally got her 6-yr molars coming in.  Good news.  Bad news - the molars have something called an enamel defect, which is that they are brittle and didn't form enough of the tough outer coating to protect them.  There are several things that can cause this - including a high fever or illness as an infant when the tooth buds begin - or it could be something generally related to overall developmental issues.  We'll never know.  They want to put fillings in/over (I was unclear) after her next appointment in 6 months and they said crowns are not out of the question for kids with this problem.  Great.  Luckily, there is no expectation that other teeth will have this problem, as teeth develop at different times and whatever stress that cause this was likely short-lived.  More bad news - Allison now has special high fluoride toothpaste and she hates the taste (which is helpful in getting her to spit it out).

Today was the 6-month visit to / check-in with the orthodontist, who has also been waiting for the 6-yr molars to come in so that he can start the expanders.  Unfortunately for Allison, this means more bad tooth news.  We've been waiting for molars to make space and provide anchors for the orthodontia, but the molars are slow going.  The molars are slow going because the next set of molars is forming against the current molars.  Like plants - molars grow roots down and "sprout" upwards.  If the molar does not move upwards, the root grows laterally and then the molar gets "stuck" because the root growth is not pushing upwards anymore.  Her 6-yr molars have OK roots, the next set of molars is partially under the 6-yr molars and very close to the jaw bone - in essence - we've run out of waiting time.  There are also 2 teeth in the top front and 2 teeth in the bottom front that have begun to grow at a goofy angle.  Must make space ASAP.  The orthodontist wanted a little time to make a plan, but basically said he'd probably go ahead and either make expanders that were removable, or anchor them to the baby teeth.  Anyway, those brittle, slow, 6-yr molars aren't going to be the best candidates for a while anyway.  We go back in 2 weeks to hear the plan, the cost (gulp), and set up a time table.

Tomorrow we go back to Madison to follow-up with the endocrinologist.  I think she's gained about 3-4 pounds this spring, but height.... I'm not so sure.  We'll have to see tomorrow.  Hopefully, it's all better news than the tooth business.