They all rolled over and one fell out

I read another blog post recently about how you never notice the last time a child does something the way that you notice the first time a child does something.  The last time they write their "b" backwards; or the last time they say 'mama' before switching over to the more mature "mom" (or the last time they say "mom" without the inflective-sigh "maaahm.")

There is one thing I am simultaneously so ready and so-unready for it to be the last of - kids in my bed.  Both kids have gone through their "sleep in mom and dad's bed" phases.  Sometimes those phases have even overlapped - and back then we had Astro too.

Allison would climb between us and thrash about all night long, as though we were the interlopers and if we could please just leave HER BED, all would be better.  Sometimes we did.  But over time she stayed more and more in her own bed, and now her visits are few and far between - and I think we all sleep the better for it.  She's also a calmer sleeper now, so that when she does find us in the middle of the night - it's not so bad, and it's infrequent enough that I almost enjoy it.

Jacob's transformation was more gradual - and longer.  As a toddler newly released from the confines of the crib, he would waddle down the hallway, climb up in bed, and sleep on top of me - tummy to tummy.  As he got a little older, he would snuggle in between my arm and my side.  He is a pretty sound sleeper and there was never much moving about.  In fact, I'd often wake in the morning and wonder how long he'd been there.  And it was very cute and I thought I'd be sooo sad when he was too old to snuggle in bed.

Well, here's what happened.... he grew.  And now, he's not a pint-sized four year old who climbs almost unnoticed into the bed - he's a nearly 60 pound PERSON who stands there staring at me next to the bed until I wake up and totally jump out of my skin.  Then he climbs in bed and rests his head on my arm and it falls asleep.  And there is the mathematical challenge of three full people trying to sleep in a bed made for two.

And there will be a day when I look back in sadness to realize that he's outgrown climbing in bed with us.  But I will certainly miss toddler Jacob and not school-aged Jacob in my bed.  Until then, I may be the bear that fell out. 

Fact Checking

After turning off the kids lights on Sunday night, I returned to watching TV with Brian (so exciting.... actually it's another post to consider the amount of TV that we actually DON'T watch anymore) and grabbed my phone.  Why?  I needed to fact-check my conversation with Jacob. (which was, not shockingly, entirely accurate)

It was a lengthy conversation, so I won't recount the whole thing line by line - but we'd told the kids about Great-Grandma's death and Jacob was asking if it was ok if he told his teacher and friends (yes, of course).  I asked if he was sad about it and he said yes, but he was also sad about Harry Houdini.  Huh?  Apparently Harry Houdini died from a punch in the stomach.  Jacob told me the whole story (which I didn't know). 

Then I said something like, "well, it's OK to be sad about Great-grandma and Harry Houdini."  And then Jacob added - "and John Bradley."  Well - who the heck is John Bradley??  So I got the whole story about John Bradley, the WW2 vet and soldier who fought in Iwa Jima, and was famous for raising the flag after the battle.  And then I learned all about where he lived and what he did and how he didn't take the credit but instead gave it to all the men who died fighting.

Uh - OK.  Apparently "they read a book."  The next chapter is (LOL) Joe McCarthy.  The book is Wisconsin Hometown Heroes (a.k.a - things you don't learn in Illinois - but who around here has ever heard of Casmir Pulaski, huh???). 

So, I guess this week we'll be sad for Great-grandma, Harry Houdini, John Bradley, and Joe McCarthy.  At least Great-grandma gets to keep interesting company.

Annoyance

This is not exactly news - but newspapers are obsolete.  We get the Appleton Post Crescent delivered to our door every morning.  I actually enjoy reading a newspaper while I eat breakfast or drink coffee.  I don't buy it to be my source of news, though they do ... ok... with local coverage.  Granted, I could live with a little less GB Packers coverage.... the price we pay.

But last night was election night and we were glued to our computer screens watching returns (this is what happens when you get rid of cable).  I was, in fact, looking forward to getting the newspaper this morning to see what it said about the election.  So I was saddened to discover in the morning that our newspaper wasn't there.  And neither was the neighbor's.  By 7:30am, it hadn't been delivered.

Usually, it's there by 6:00am.  Usually, I can read up on why the school district has new standards or why Mrs. Smith is the world's best volunteer.  I get all the fluff local news I can handle and I get it first thing in the morning to enjoy with my Cheerios.

But when something actually HAPPENS, when there is actual NEWS to report and I want to read the paper to get information - well, no dice.  Perhaps they called the election too late to get to the presses on time.  Perhaps our paper-person was up late celebrating or drowning his sorrows.  Who knows?  What I do know is that I wanted NEWS this morning from my NEWSPAPER and I got nada.

So instead I opened up the iPad and checked out Yahoo.  P-C, I'll see you again tomorrow first thing and I'll open right up to your Thursday section where you interview a local bartender.

Happy Halloween

 I think we could just send the kids out in regular clothes on Halloween, because it's usually so cold everyone bundles up anyway.  We did the best we could warming Allison with her Draculaura costume - only one person recognized it so don't feel badly if you have no idea.  She's from Monster High.  Jacob went as Boba Fett - carrying on from his pinewood derby car last spring and rocket. 

Allison and Grace (bride).

Allison was also the shortest (but oldest) of the neighbor kids - Grace, Allison, Jacob, Lucas (football player), Tyson, and Jacob K (who were zombies).  Everybody seemed to be heading out at the same time.

Brian took the kids out - because there is usually a house they visit with beer and brats - so Brian typically takes the kids trick-or-treating.  This year they went to Jacob teacher's house (opposite direction) and ended up walking past the elementary school and into the neighborhood on the other side.  I was called to rescue them a few hours later to save what would have been a 20-30 minute walk back home.

The kids had fun.  They have lots of candy - which means they don't notice if I pilfer a piece or two. 

Ice rink

 Over the summer, Jacob went to a birthday party at the local ice rink.  Since then, he's been begging us to go back.  So a few weeks ago, we did.  Allison (who was initially very opposed) had a lot of fun, especially since there was a "walker" bar that she could push around for balance.

 Jacob - in Jacob fashion - declared himself a competent skater.  It's a good thing he didn't mind falling!

I remembered why it's been 15 years since I went ice skating.  My feet hurt and my toes go numb.  Perhaps next time I'll get hockey skates, because, I'm sure there will be a next time.

I am a ball cart

This was my conversation with Jacob last night:

J: Mom, I've been a ball cart for the last 4 days!
Me: Ball cart?
J: Yeah, for four days in a row!
Me: Ball cart?  What's a ball cart?
J: Well, see, there's this cart, with balls....

And then he launched into a long explanation with lots of pauses for emphasis and that tongue clicking thing he does when he knows he has your attention and he has a story to tell.  Apparently, he and Parker get to push the ball cart back into the building at recess.  They get this wonderous job by simply asking the recess supervisor!  Clearly, Jacob wonders why others haven't figured out that is ALL you have to do to be rewarded with such awesome responsibility.

Meanwhile - I'm wondering how it is that he seeks out opportunities to help clean up and put away at school?  At home it's the WORLD'S MOST LABOROUS CHORE and if I ask him to do something, I am the worst.mom.ever. 

How do I harness this ball cart magic?  Let's flip this so he shows up at school and tells his teacher "Hey - I've been the vacuum for four days now! Tomorrow, I become the made bed!"

When 1 is not Best

We had the kids parent-teacher conferences a few weeks ago.  Overall, they went fine.  I should put conferences in quotes because the teachers really talk to us for about 13 of the 15 minutes and then ask at the end if we have any questions. 

We learned Jacob is still very good at math, his reading is improving (he has discovered Magic Tree House books and others that he likes).  He is still working on the mechanics of the classroom - lining up properly, getting his assignments in his notebook, etc.  Second grade a big shift from "teacher-done" tasks to "student-done" tasks - like the assignment notebooks.

We learned that Allison needs to be kept away from pens (she has an OCD need to smear the ink), she passed her math test and is really doing well in the social skills group.  They also said they were impressed with her work this year, that they'd seen great (but still inconsistent) gains in handwriting, and that she was working much more diligently this year than past years.

Apparently that diligence and hard work did not spread to her achievement test.  The teacher pushed a paper with her "score" on it and said "don't be alarmed - we don't think this is representative of her ability at all."  The autism teacher said that she had noticed Allison going through the computer test "very quickly."  We believe that she may done the equivalent of a pretty randomized selection of bubbles on a scantron test.  When the test score came home - we could see that the raw score they'd given us at the conference aligned with the 1% of AASD students in her grade.  She scored - raw score - lower than she had at the start of second grade.  So from second grade on her scores had trended upward (in sort of a sinusoidal pattern - they take it three times per year) only to plummet in 4th grade back to square one.  Good grief.

When asked - why - of course Allison says she "didn't want to take the test."  Clearly.  How do you convince a kid that it's important when there is no immediate feedback , no positive benefit, and that child doesn't have an inherent desire to please those around her or a desire to try her hardest if there is no benefit to her?  It's the definition of "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."

Oh well.  We all know that she can read at a fourth grade level.  She pounds out an Ivy&Bean book in an hour or so, and tells jokes about it so I know she comprehends the story rather than just the words.  In fact, she reads over an hour a day.  I don't know how to convince her to demonstrate that knowledge - or to demonstrate it on passages that are less appealing to her (subject-wise). 

But she was recommended, and I signed her up, for Club Read, which is an after-school computer based reading program for kids in 3-6th grade.  They get treats and snacks and earn a party by passing a certain number of levels. Some of her friends have done it in the past and hopefully it'll be at least a good experience to get used to reading off the computer screen.

It should be interesting to see the results of the state-mandated testing which begins next Monday at 8:45am.  You know - after the kids have been off for 5 days.  Also, they test in the morning on November 1st - the morning after Halloween.  Good planning!