Quitting

I think Allison quit choir tonight.  Since piano had gone so well this past year (Allison has stuck with something for a year!), I had thought that the non-audition girl choir would be a good fit - and it was - for two weeks.  Then she didn't want to go, and last week went very badly.  And then she didn't want to go again and Mom caved. 

Here's the dilemma - I feel that we need to instill in the kids that when they agree to something they need to follow through.  And we'd probably never let Jacob quit something midway through - double standard alert!  But Allison has the power to make everyone miserable if she's forced into something against her will.  Incentives (bribes), consequences (threats), and guilt (guilt) have no affect on her.  And it becomes not just her and me - but her and me and the choir director and all the other girls in choir.  Is it fair to them?

I'm sure there are opinions aplenty about the choices that we (as parents) make and the battles we choose to fight or not.  I recall a recent conversation with another mother about having her kids make the beds and my thought was "well, there's your problem - skip the whole 'making the bed' thing."  We simply don't make the beds because that's a battle with a very high cost to benefit ratio.  I'm sure to many people it's unheard of to not have kids make the beds (or have beds made in general).

The thing with Allison is that most issues have a very high cost to benefit ratio - therefore you have to save your energy for those things that matter more.  It's MORE important to me that she stick with piano than argue about every afterschool activity because she doesn't want to go to choir.  It's MORE important that we get out the door in the morning without tears (mostly) than that the kids make their beds. 

Also, I'm secretly a little tired of running around.  Choir, brownies, piano, soccer practice, soccer games, cub scouts, therapy.  It's possible I saw a small glimmer of freedom appear on Monday afternoons (soon to be the only day without an after-school activity).  I guess if she doesn't want to do it - I'm not going to force this issue.