JC Our L&S

Most people know that we are not a particularly religious family.  I don't really want to go into it here, but let's just say we sum it up like the facebook relationship status "it's complicated."

To that end, we don't pass along any particular beliefs to the kids, nor say too much about the pros and cons of other people's religions - which around us range from lapsed Catholic, to Catholic, to normal Lutheran, to crazy Lutheran.  So we've basically relegated our children's religious education to their peers.  Thumbs up.  I hope it works this well with sex ed too.

So, over the weekend Allison had to write an opinion essay titled "Why Christmas is My Favorite Holiday."  We actually had a big hurdle to pass over first because Allison insisted she could not write the essay because Christmas was NOT her favorite holiday.  I actually think she was just trying to get out of the assignment.  So, we changed it slightly to be titled "Why Christmas is My Third Favorite Holiday."

It was a standard five paragraph essay and we tackled the three middle paragraphs first.  Topic 1 - Santa.  Topic 2 - Giving gifts.  Topic 3 - Seeing family.  Then we circled back to the introduction and conclusion paragraphs.

Other than the fact that 5 paragraph writing assignments make me want to bang my head against the wall - it was going OK.  We did have three topics, sentences almost all related to those topics in paragraph form, and all related to things Allison likes about Christmas.  And all completely.... secular.

So - imagine my surprise - when Allison insisted on the following as her lead-in introductory essay sentence:

"I love Christmas because it is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior."

Uh..... OK.  Well, technically, it's true.  That is, in fact, the definition of Christmas.  How it came to be that Allison insisted on it as the first sentence of her essay, I'll have to blame on the fact that she stole my Christmas piano book to play sing-along the other week.  So, teachers, have fun with that one.

Things that should never be

I'm taking this blog in a new direction.  What direction?  Toward the scrotum. 

This is our cat, Wiley:

She has a large belly that hangs down and waddles when she runs, and when she walks.  She also has mites that will not go away and some as-yet-undiagnosed bladder condition.  She's the $2000 shelter kitty.  Also - her belly looks like a scrotum when viewed from behind.

Yep.  I took that picture.  It was NOT an easy picture to take. Now I've officially typed scrotum several times in this blog post.  Success!

Now I'm going back to work because I'm drowning in work. I promise the blog will only go up from here.  How do I know that?  Well, you know I'm never going to post anything about feet. 

More vacation posts coming sometime!

Punctuating the vacation posts to let you know that Allison's echocardiogram was mostly normal. 

You may be thinking: Wait - Allison had a echocardiogram?  I had no idea! 

And you'd be right, because I didn't really mention it to anyone, because we didn't really know anything was wrong and it sounds super scary to have a heart test and the doctor didn't really think it was a big deal - but still he ordered a test.  So, clearly, there could be something wrong.


So, the story goes like this: Allison has to go into the doctor's office every 6 months for a med-check because she's on ADHD medications.  We have not changed her ADHD medications in .... 3 years maybe?  But we go in anyway because they are controlled substances.  All was well, though it's increasingly awkward to talk about your child's problems in a room containing your child.  This was easier when she was 5 and relatively clueless.  Or 8 when I could talk about her and use language that made it seem like I wasn't talking about her.  Anyway.... none of those problems will be solved with ADHD medications - so perhaps it's neither here nor there.

So the doctor checked her heart - and heard "something" with the valves not being quite in sync.  He had not heard it before and thought it would be good to have it tested.  He was not like "oooo - we must have this test tomorrow," which was good because "tomorrow" we were leaving for Europe.  I assumed he wanted to test it because ADHD medications have cardiovascular effects; but I did ask if this would have been "caused" by the medications and he said No.

So, off we went on vacation with instructions to schedule it when we returned.  Then I threw it into the category of heart murmur, though I don't really know what that it and the doctor didn't say that.  He knew more than I did because I was wrong.  But lots of people have heart murmurs, so there's context there.

So, I feel like I should start this paragraph off with the word "so."

The test was last Thursday, and it took about an hour+ with this very nice guy and a student observer.  Allison did well through about the first 30-40 minutes and then the rest of the time she spent asking how much longer it was going to be.  I asked the technician if he found whatever it was they were looking for and he said yes, that it was not a heart murmur (which is apparently not a general term for weird heartbeats), but that we should not worry too much, but wait for the report - the cardiologist may or may not think it's a thing.

So, (back to it) when the doctor actually called me the next day, I was initially a little freaked out.  He called!  But what it is is a valve (the mitral valve - I think I have that right) that separates the two left side chambers of her heart is "flat."  Honestly, I don't know what it normally is, but I guess not "flat."  This is not a problem as long as it doesn't prolapse, which means it becomes a door that swings both ways rather than a door that swings only one way.  This was what he was hearing during the med check.

The cardiologist recommends another echocardiogram in 2-3 years to see if there are any changes as she grows.  I find comfort in the long time frame for a recheck - it's not like, come back soon.  Also, between checkups, med checks, visits to the endochrinologist - she has medical professionals listening to her heart about every 3 months. 

So that's that.  More vacation pics to follow!

Vacation Photos - Day 3-5 (Paris)

 Day three we started at Notre Dame, where they were starting services and welcoming "especially those of you who may be from Sweden."

Afterwards we walked to a park, which had a pretty awesome playground (even if you did have to pay to get in).  Jacob loved the zip-line track.

And everyone loved looking for fish and watching the sailboats in the pond.

 We took a long walk to find this kid-friendly bar / disco / store of curiosity.  It did give the older boys opportunity to use a urinal in public.

Day 4 was the last full day in Paris - and we began the day at the top of the Eiffel Tower.  We were a little concerned because as soon as we stepped off the first elevator, an alarm started to sound that said something to the effect of "there has been a security breach. The site is now closed to the public.  Please make your way to the nearest exit."  However, the workers didn't seem at all perplexed, so we got on the next elevator and went up to the top.  :)

Once we were back on the ground, we visited the Arc de Triomphe and walked down the des Champs-Elysees.  There were a lot of cool car stores and Jacob sat in every car that was permitted to sit in.

We ended up at a park with in-ground trampolines!

Before finishing at the Louvre, where we threatened the kids that they had to go in and have their picture taken with every piece of artwork before we'd take them to dinner.  We actually had no plans to go inside since the adults had all seen the Mona Lisa before.

Day 5 - we packed up our stuff and loaded onto the train to Poitiers.

Vacation Pics - Part 1 (day 1 - day 2)

In an attempt to curate the 2000 pictures we took, I'll give the highlights and overview:

Day 1 - arrival.  Schlep bags across Paris to the hotel / guest house.  Then go see the Eiffel Tower because... well.... you have to!

Day 2 - Get up (late) and go to the Museum of Industrial Design (ok - that's my translation).  But it was really cool.

 The Museum is perhaps most famous for housing the original Foucault's Pendulum.  However, that one fell and broke a few years ago and so I believe this was a replica.  Still cool.

Then we met up with our friends:

And all visited the Sacre Coeur:

Where we climbed over 300 stairs (mostly in a very tight spiral), but some straight to get to the top

 To have a nice (albeit slightly foggy) view of Paris:

The things they like

I started cleaning up the basement today.  Since the TV broke last year... I haven't been going down there much except to make a run to the beer shelves and to change the litter box.

But cleaning almost anywhere in the house puts my mind into "do I really need this s**t?" mode, and when dealing with the kids stuff it's way easier to say No than when I'm dealing with my own stuff.  I've had my stuff forever!  These kids... they've only had this toy for 5 years!

Not the point of my post, though... what really struck me today was sometimes how bad I was at meeting the kids where they are.  I have a basement full of reminders that my kids are the people they are and they like the things that they like.  They are not the mini-me's maybe sometimes I imagined they would be.  Perhaps this has taken me way too long to figure out.  OTOH, at least I'm coming to terms with it.

Example #1 - Jacob is not a big fan of Lego.  This is glaringly evident by the three unopened Lego kits sitting on the table in the basement.  I think this one is particularly painful because Brian and I both like Lego's and waited patiently until he was the "right" age to dive right into Lego-making.  And while Jacob does like a few elements of Lego (one - the architecture kits that he collects in his room; and two - playing with the Star Wars ships and Lego people once they have been dutifully built by his parents and friends), he doesn't like to sit and follow the directions to assemble them.  So, we've quit buying him new kits (except the buildings.... if anyone needs a Christmas gift idea for him, apparently there is now an Eiffel Tower) and I've let go of the mental image of us sitting around the dining room table together at night, assembling Lego kits as quality family time (which sounds a little corny except that this image really did begin to form during the countless mind-numbing hours spent pushing Thomas trains around in a circle and I would comfort myself knowing that someday we would progress to Lego.  Sigh).

Example #2 - Allison likes toys that are literally what they are supposed to be.  When Allison was younger we bought her a dollhouse.  This dollhouse is still in our basement.  We did a lot of dollhouse shopping and ended up with (what we thought was) a super-cool dollhouse made of wood with all kinds of sets that could fill the largely undecorated interior.  We were then stymied when she showed very little interest in playing with it... ever.  She liked dollhouses, she played with them elsewhere.  Why was she not playing with this one?  The answer has revealed itself over time, but boils down to the fact that she needs toys that are exactly that thing.  All the dollhouses she liked were the plastic ones with the stickers on the walls that looked like windows and the roof pre-molded to look like singles.  What we gave her had no walls and required a lot of mental imaging to play with... too much mental imaging it turns out.


I know we're not the only people who have kids with different interests than our own.  I also take comfort in knowing that this "hopeful shopping" is not limited to things that I buy the kids but also sometimes manifests itself in things we buy for ourselves (I'm looking at you - box of cross-stitch projects that looked so cool on the shelf).

So, it's not me sitting around and wanting the kids to be different people than they are.  It's me sitting around befuddled by the fact that they don't like the things I like.  And the net result is that the basement has come to house the toys that I'd thought the children would enjoy and the toys that I still hold onto with the (fading) hope that someday they will.

Back to School Shopping

Back from vacation and there are Things To Do to get ready for school.  Granted, we don't go back until September (what feels like the latest school start date EVER), but still the school supplies are starting to look picked over at Target. 

Plus, I actually need the kids to go with me to shop for clothing now because I can no longer guess their styles and/or sizes.  This is a little tricky with Allison because I don't want her ENTIRE closet to be filled with Monster High apparel (which is almost all she picks).  So, I've spent more than a little time browsing online for that ven-diagram intersection sweet spot of Knit Dresses : Size 8-10 : Style Appropriate for 6th Grade. 

Interestingly, some of the best finds are those stores that I've typically avoided because they sell clothes that make 7 year olds look like 14 year olds (why do we push them to grow up so fast??).... but when you have a 11 year old who is the SIZE of a 7 year old.... this suddenly becomes a viable shopping destination.  The other good finds are the "classic" stores - places like Gap and Lands End.

This is also about the time of year when I do the School Supply Rant.  This year's search involved an 8-pocket, polyvinyl organizer, non-accordian style.  WTH is that?  I had to google it, which led me to Office Max - incidentally NOT the cheapest place to buy school supplies.  So we're swimming in scissors, markers, colored pencils, glue sticks, and wide-ruled notebooks.  We've managed to get almost everything in just two trips... the few missing items occupying very specific requirements: "red, 3 subject, wide-ruled notebook."  Time to get on Amazon.

I also ended up in a conversation the other day with someone who had relatives buy school supplies for her children because the cost was so high, but they didn't qualify for any of the free backpack programs.  Which also led me to think about the free supplies and how does that program know that your kid needs an 8-pocket polyvinyl organizer?  Suddenly, I was grateful that my headaches of school supply shopping was limited to *finding* the items and not *affording* the items or sending my children to face the embarrassment of not having any school supplies or having the wrong school supplies.

The way we do school supplies is so wasteful.  Schools and teachers don't have supplies or money to buy supplies - so they create these long lists with everything your child might need for the year - plus a little more. (Ask a teacher how successful it is to request supplies in the MIDDLE of the year, it's better to be proactive at the beginning).  Many of the supplies return home at the end of the year - hardly used but enough lost pieces that it becomes difficult to recycle them into another school year.  (8 rainbow colored markers become 6 markers where three are blue - someone, somewhere has a wicked collection of black markers). And few things irritate me more than notebooks that come home at the end of year with 10 of 70 pages written on.  Either there was a more efficient and less wasteful way to do that work - or - my child was supposed to do something on the other 60 pages that he/she never did. 

Then we're also asked to supply the classroom with things like dry-erase markers.  I don't actually mind doing this, but I can't help thinking that the school could get them cheaper in bulk than parents can get them 3 at a time from CVS. 

Which leads me to the final point about school supply shopping - items are NEVER packaged in the quantity that you need.  3 packets of Post-its?  You can choose 1 or 4.  Incidentally, buying 4 is often the same price as buying the three individual packs you need. Then you debate "well, this is a better deal.... but then what do I do with the extra?"  Pre-sharpened pencils only come in packs of 18.  If you want the 24 pack - you'll sharpen your own.