In other news...

Allison has declared she's no longer going to eat animals.  Then she checked to see if macaroni and cheese and hot dogs were animals.  I'm not sure if she's revising her intentions now or not.

The Road to Delinquency is Paved with Suspensions

Jacob was suspended from school yesterday.  Yes, suspended.

I've had an abundance of feelings since 10am yesterday - they ranged from mortified, to sad, to angry at Jacob, to angry at the Principal, to resigned, back to angry at the principal.  So, realize I might ramble somewhat because the story isn't fully formed yet in my mind.  Also, I'll say from the get-go that we do believe that Jacob did all that they said he did.  They're not making it up, and it's not acceptable.  However, I think there might have been a more positive outcome, and his suspension seems out-of-proportion to the 'crime.'

It started last week with writing.  The writing assignment went from "more than one sentence" to "five sentences."  Jacob has had trouble coming up with ideas to write about all year - which is odd given that he can talk non-stop about anything that comes to mind.  So last Thursday he refused to write in his journal, so he had to stay in at recess, when he continued to refuse to write in his journal.  Something also happened at lunch, he didn't want to go into the cafeteria, and he ended up eating in the principal's office, but then he didn't want to go back to class.  This was all in one particularly bad day.  But his teacher stopped me after school to explain, and he wrote in his journal at home.

Fast forward a week to today, when I dropped him off at school and stayed to do the word cards in his classroom.  He came up to me and said he didn't know what to write about in his journal.  I gave him many suggestions (write about how awesome your mom is!), but he rejected them all.  I left around 9am.

10am, I get a call from the principal.  He explained that Jacob was not doing his schoolwork, he was not listening to adults, he was "shutting down" that this was now a "pattern of behavior" they have seen with him the last two weeks (but notably not prior to that), and he was going to be suspended for the rest of the day - I needed to come pick him up. 

I'm thinking - OMG Suspended! - what did he do?!  Seriously, who ever got suspended in first grade!  'Suspended' is for fights and stuff.

So, I go retrieve a tearful Jacob from the principal's office with a rundown of the morning's events (refused to write - but the official slip said "disobedience/insubordination" cause "unknown"), a slip about an incident on the playground Thursday (which was never communicated home), a message that Jacob could not be this disrespectful of adults at school, and instructions to make sure this didn't turn into a fun day.  Seriously?  Sure - you got suspended from school - let's go play video games!!

We went and got his backpack and homework, from his teacher, who seemed genuinely surprised and apologized repeatedly.  I took a still tearful Jacob to work with me (he cried for about 20 minutes because he didn't want to miss school, he really wanted to go to music, and they were planting seeds today in science).  If I had any previous plans to "come down hard" on him based on the "seriousness of his crimes" they dissipated quite a bit with how upset he was by the whole thing.  It seemed mean to pile it on - so I took the "well, actions have consequences" stance and these are your consequences.

So, Jacob did his work in my office.  We talked a little about how serious it was to get suspended.  How he needed to listen to adults even if it wasn't what he wanted.  And he was the model of good behavior the rest of the day.  Will this translate to Tuesday?  Who knows?

I've thought about an alternative to the principal's theory of "insubordination and oppositional defiance."  Because I can also picture a boy in class with nothing to write about.  He's being asked but the longer it takes him to come up with something the more he worries about getting into trouble.  The more he worries about getting into trouble, and not being able to go to his friend's house after school, the less he can think of something to write about.  The less he can think of something to write about, the more he realizes time is ticking away and the closer he is to getting in trouble.  Suddenly, the feedback cycle implodes and he's stuck.  He's "shut-down" to use their terms. 

For this boy, the boy anxious about writing - is he "refusing"?  Is he being "insubordinate" and "oppositional."  Is suspending that boy the right call?  Because I'm a little worried that suspending that boy will make him even more anxious about his writing topics, and even less willing to communicate with adults.  There just seems to be a better way to have handled this.

Sprouts

One of my birthday presents was a sprouting kit and several types of seeds to sprout.  So, I've been having fun growing sprouts in the kitchen.  I've decided that I like your standard alfalfa sprouts, and broccoli might be my favorite (who knew those little things would TASTE like broccoli??).  The recent two were radish and fenugreek (both a little too bitter).  So next up is peas.  Perhaps later this summer, I'll get to make a whole salad with the lettuce and spinach that Jacob and I just planted in the little greenhouse starter home.

Yummy! 

Things I don't "get"

In the paper this morning was a story about a group of parents who have lobbied for alternative freshman com arts curriculum because they feel the books selected contain obscenity, references to sex, or talk of suicide.

This story has bothered me since they first reported about the parents group last year and the uproar over one of the books. 

First off, I have faith that the school district is not assigning "Shades of Grey" to incoming freshman.  I'm sure that the school tries to balance literary complexity with up-to-date and relevant material.  They mix the old "Catcher in the Rye" with some new book about a Christopher Creed.  (Plus more books that don't warrant deeper inspection - perhaps "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," but who knows, those don't make headlines.)

Given my base assumption that the high school is not trying to make the kids into sex-crazed despots, I don't understand the concern coming from the parents.  First, they have the opportunity to opt out of individual objectionable books.  I'll stand by this option as a viable one, given that I myself once opted out of a book in 7th or 8th grade because it was about a brain tumor and I could barely read it without feeling like I was going to vomit.

But say you don't want to opt out of one particular book.  There are other things you can do.  The parents could read the books before the kids did and have the opportunity to discuss distressing themes with them.  My kids and I are reading 'Little House in the Big Woods' and do you know how many questions I got in the first chapter about slaughtering animals?  Definitely not farm hands, those two.

But the real thing that I don't "get" is that at some point kids are exposed to these things.  I'm guessing that it's way before 9th grade.  A middle-school student in Oshkosh committed suicide.  Seventh and eight-graders get pregnant.  Kids are bullied so much that they do terrible things to themselves, to others.  Kids are introduced to drugs by their parents.  This is sad, unfortunate, and I desperately wish we lived in a world where these things weren't so.

Last time I checked, however, there wasn't a cave system under Appleton where we could hide our children. An alterna-world without sex on TV, violent video-games, wars, or cruelty.  A world without stories of kids locked in basements, gay teen suicide, and school shootings. 

Since that alterna-world is not hidden secretly below the city of Appleton, maybe it's our job to instead put the world in context.  Keep the lines of communication open so that kids can talk about what troubles them.  Because while You (Citizens and Concerned Parents.org) may have done a wonderful job of raising your kids in a bubble - the kid with the locker next door might be the homeless teen getting beat up every day.  Do you really want  your youngster to pretend it's not happening because "he's just not ready to deal with that yet?"  Too bad - he needs to be ready - whether you are or not.

Allison takes advantage of the new therapist

Two days, one week, long list:

Why yes, I get to do my homework in pen!

Of course my teacher likes it when I smudge the ink of the homework that I totally always get to do in PEN!

When I play tea party, I can fill up the pitcher as many times as I want, and my mom always lets me set the saucers down on the ground to fill them with water for my pets.  How many pets?  Um, how many saucers do we have?

I know that this is a WHOLE DRAWER of stamping stuff down in the basement by the tile floor, but my mom absolutely lets me carry the whole thing to my room to play.  Wait, this it too heavy, can you carry it?

I get to take frequent puzzle breaks during homework time, which, remember, I get to do in PEN.

No, it's totally fine for me to bring all my stuffed animals into the living room.

Books and Authors and Chaos

We like books.  I think we're a book family.  There isn't a room in our house that is book free.  And we even like to read the books.  Sometimes we read them twice (or in Allison's case - over and over and over and over).

So I have been pretty excited this year about the Fox Cities Book Festival.  I've read the community book the last few years, but this year I've gone to several of the presentations too.  There was the Heads versus Feds drug policy debate on campus (I don't know about the "book" that this had anything to do with).  It was - let me say - skewed toward the legalization point of view.  And today I saw Bill Strickland, author of "Make the Impossible Possible," which may be worthy of it's own blog post.  Sadly, I missed Zorba Paster, Friday (also, I'm not sure of the book connection there).

But on Sunday there was a visit by Jane O'Connor, a.k.a. the Fancy Nancy author, at the Appleton Library.  I was actually excited to learn recently that Fancy Nancy is also moving into the chapter book arena.  The Level 1 readers we have on the bookshelf have gotten their fair share of love.  Excited by the opportunity to introduce the kids to a "real-life author," Allison and I set off, Fancy Nancy book in hand, to the APL. 

Let me say, that I believe that the organizers may have grossly underestimated the interest in the Fancy Nancy author.  I think perhaps these people don't have their own little girls - because - if you advertise "Dress your fanciest, come for a story, followed by a book signing and a fashion parade, Bring your camera" I think you've hit both the interest of young girls AND their parents (photo-op!).  Of course, you had Allison at "Dress your fanciest" the rest was really irrelevant.

The room was PACKED.  The first 1/2 hour was the children's librarian who tried to teach the kids a French song about planting cabbages, followed by a story, followed by an attempt to teach the kids "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" also in French.  We were actually close to the front of the throngs of people, and I could hear OK, but Brian and Jacob also stopped by and they were near the back and they heard nothing above the dim of irritated parents who couldn't get close enough to hear anything.

True-to-form, Allison participated in the first 1/2 hour presentation like a trouper, but then right when the author came out - she wandered back to my chair and proclaimed "I'm ready to go home now."  If I would have even decided that was an option - there is no way we would have been able to make it back through the crowd.  iPhone to the rescue!  My whipping out the iPhone was probably much to the dismay of the woman sitting next to me who felt the need to excitedly exclaim every "fancy" and/or French word with an over-the-top amount of gusto - right in the ear of the decidedly bored young daughter on her lap.

Jane O'Connor reads : mon cheri

Woman : "Oh! mon cheri, mon cheri!!" 

Girl - tries unsuccessfully to squirm out of her mother's grasp and/or hide under her chair from embarrassment (I don't blame her - I hoped that no one sitting around us thought it was me shouting words out like I was being saved by Jesus at a Southern Baptist Revival.)

Jane O'Connor read a story (which Allison put the iPhone down for), had a few kids walk around with bananas on their heads, and then went into the hallway for the book signing.  I believe there was something else going on at the front of the room, but we never did figure that out.  We ran into our friends milling about afterward:

And the girls showed off their Fancy Nancy books and fancy attire.  We went to go find the book signing line - note that we exited the door in the back (pictured), to worm our way down the hallway, around the corner, down another hallway, and back into the room that we'd just exited to find the end of the line (at which point we gave up and took this picture - note the proximity to where we began). 

Deciding that the line was too, too long; we headed up to hang out in the library and check out some books.  Even after browsing, followed by reading time in the train, followed by checking out - the line was still in exactly the same place as it was when we snapped this picture.  Allison was ready to go and I was NOT going to argue.

I did learn this much - Girls love Fancy Nancy.  Girls love dressing up.  Moms love that their girls love books.  Wait, I knew all that already....

High Flying Adventures

 On Monday, Jacob wanted to fly a kite.  Of course, we couldn't fly it at home, we needed to go to the park.  So I unpacked two kites that we bought on clearance at Target probably 2 years ago.  There were actually 4 cheap-o plastic kites, so I got out one for each kid.

Off to the park we went.  It was pretty windy.  Probably too windy for the cheap-o plastic kites.

 Note that there is a WIDE OPEN field at the park.  I think they can play a soccer game and a baseball game at the same time without problem.  Tons of space!  So where are the kids - 10 feet from each other.  Where are the kites?  Tangled together and in a tree.

I managed to get Allison's kite down and was working on Jacob's when.... whoops!.... Jacob let go of the handle, which then got caught in the tree as the kite was headed off to Neverland.  We waited for the kite to come down, when it was jarred loose from the smaller tree and subsequently trapped in a much bigger tree.

Of course, this was high drama once Jacob realized there was very little chance of the kite coming down out of the tree.  So after much wailing (and a finally broken cheap-o plastic kite of Allison's - way too windy), we headed home.  Hopefully others at the park enjoyed the kite-flying tree.