"Only my friends and my cousins can play with my balls"
"Do they have apples in Minneapolis? - It's Minnie, apple-less. Apple-less means: with no apples. Do they get them from other places?"
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Hard Labor
Allison is in for some hard labor. Ok, well, it'll be mostly cleaning, but 5 hours worth. Saturday afternoon, in what we can probably described as wanton tiredness and monumentally poor decision-making, Allison damaged some stuff in Jacob's room (which we discovered when we put Jacob to bed at night). After much yelling and a young girl who went straight to bed, Brian and I were unable to doll out any punishment at the time. Ok, to be honest, we couldn't really think of anything.
Punishing Allison is a challenge, and I mean that it's difficult to find appropriate and consistent consequences. There isn't anything to "take away" that means anything to her (like losing an hour of video games is enough to get Jacob to do just about anything). Plus, the whole world of "punishment" is full of wonderful advice like "reward good behavior" and "authoritarian parents will pay for it later with rebellion" and "use a poor choice as a teachable moment." Uh, huh. I'm sure that advice works well for some kids. It does not work well for all kids.
We have "rules" and praise the kids when they solve a problem without fighting, or try a new food on their own. We try never to say mean and hurtful things to them, even if they call us "poopy butt" or something worse they heard at school. But there will come a time when even the best kid makes a bad decision and then what do you do? And what do you do if your child seems naturally predisposed not to consider the consequences of their actions BEFORE taking said actions? And what if this predisposition is compounded by lack of sleep, hunger, or once medication has run it's daily course?
And then if your child does fall into that category - how much do you "forgive" on account of his/her less-developed abilities? Allison seemed truly remorseful for her actions after the fact. She wrote Jacob a note to say that she was sorry. Mom and Dad decided to have her pay for what needed to be replaced ($61 - not wholely accurate assessment, but Jacob was content with it), of which she had $36 in her piggy bank (that she was saving for Bop It) and the remaining $25 she is working off at $5 per hour with chores around the house.
All the parenting "advice" recommends a consequence that allows the kids to take responsibility and make amends for their mistakes. Allison can't have any friends over or play with the neighbors until she's finished her 5 hours and paid off her debt. She did 20 minutes of window washing today. At this rate, it might take a while.
I wish it were still as simple as a 5 minute time out. Time outs were straight forward. This is a chore.
Punishing Allison is a challenge, and I mean that it's difficult to find appropriate and consistent consequences. There isn't anything to "take away" that means anything to her (like losing an hour of video games is enough to get Jacob to do just about anything). Plus, the whole world of "punishment" is full of wonderful advice like "reward good behavior" and "authoritarian parents will pay for it later with rebellion" and "use a poor choice as a teachable moment." Uh, huh. I'm sure that advice works well for some kids. It does not work well for all kids.
We have "rules" and praise the kids when they solve a problem without fighting, or try a new food on their own. We try never to say mean and hurtful things to them, even if they call us "poopy butt" or something worse they heard at school. But there will come a time when even the best kid makes a bad decision and then what do you do? And what do you do if your child seems naturally predisposed not to consider the consequences of their actions BEFORE taking said actions? And what if this predisposition is compounded by lack of sleep, hunger, or once medication has run it's daily course?
And then if your child does fall into that category - how much do you "forgive" on account of his/her less-developed abilities? Allison seemed truly remorseful for her actions after the fact. She wrote Jacob a note to say that she was sorry. Mom and Dad decided to have her pay for what needed to be replaced ($61 - not wholely accurate assessment, but Jacob was content with it), of which she had $36 in her piggy bank (that she was saving for Bop It) and the remaining $25 she is working off at $5 per hour with chores around the house.
All the parenting "advice" recommends a consequence that allows the kids to take responsibility and make amends for their mistakes. Allison can't have any friends over or play with the neighbors until she's finished her 5 hours and paid off her debt. She did 20 minutes of window washing today. At this rate, it might take a while.
I wish it were still as simple as a 5 minute time out. Time outs were straight forward. This is a chore.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Sleepover
Allison had her first sleepover at our house last night. The girls decided to give a fashion show about 8:45pm (pic below).
The biggest challenge was keeping Jacob away from the girls, as he was desperate to be included in whatever they did. We finally ended up letting him go to sleep in our room (and then moved him to his room later).
Allison and her friend have been having lots of fun, though. They watched a Barbie movie, had the above-mentioned fashion show, decided to glue mosaic tiles to something in the dark (slightly messy), played "tricks" on Jacob, and sang songs late into the night. We did finally separate them to go to sleep (as Allison was super amped-up and finally fell asleep at 11:30, about an hour after her friend did) and then put them back in the same room later. I felt a little bad, but she otherwise would have kept the both of them up well past midnight.
This morning they have been playing and hiding from Jacob. In an odd way - exclusion is also inclusion - since the simple act of avoiding him makes him part of the fun.
The biggest challenge was keeping Jacob away from the girls, as he was desperate to be included in whatever they did. We finally ended up letting him go to sleep in our room (and then moved him to his room later).
Allison and her friend have been having lots of fun, though. They watched a Barbie movie, had the above-mentioned fashion show, decided to glue mosaic tiles to something in the dark (slightly messy), played "tricks" on Jacob, and sang songs late into the night. We did finally separate them to go to sleep (as Allison was super amped-up and finally fell asleep at 11:30, about an hour after her friend did) and then put them back in the same room later. I felt a little bad, but she otherwise would have kept the both of them up well past midnight.
This morning they have been playing and hiding from Jacob. In an odd way - exclusion is also inclusion - since the simple act of avoiding him makes him part of the fun.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Forever Ago?
Pictures from the ski trip in February!! (I just re-located the camera)
The magic carpet - LOVE IT.
Allison in Ski School
Jacob in Ski School.
Are we there yet?
The magic carpet - LOVE IT.
Allison in Ski School
Jacob in Ski School.
Are we there yet?
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Party, Party
Jacob has a birthday party to go today from 1-3:30pm.
Allison has a birthday party to go to today from 1:30-4:30pm.
By my math that is 2 hours without kids in the house.
Party on!
Allison has a birthday party to go to today from 1:30-4:30pm.
By my math that is 2 hours without kids in the house.
Party on!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
What's For Dinner?
For my birthday, a friend of mine gave me a subscription to The Six O'clock Scramble, which is a website that e-mails you weekly recipes with sorted and organized grocery lists. Many recipes are easy to prepare (between 20-40 minutes) and all are from scratch. You can change your menu options, but we've decided to try most of what they send us.
So tonight was a roasted chicken with sweet onions, herb red potatoes, and lemony spinach. It was good. It was one of the longer recipes time-wise, so we did it on the weekend. We had enough leftover to save some chicken for sandwiches and create a broth for risotto later this week. (the broth is what's in the pan).
But we were eating and I was thinking about when we moved to Madison and decided we were going to try and eat healthier. We created meals around a protein, a veggie, and a starch. I remember feeling like an Adult. Ah - food world - we'd arrived! I loved those frozen pasta dinners from Bertolli and boxed potato and salad mixes were standard fare.
Our menus are now much more diverse (healthier.... ah, it's a toss up). But eating a meal tonight which was protein, veggie, starch - was kindof fun. Reflecting on my new favorites - scallops and risotto, french onion soup, or (compliments of the Scramble) - grilled spinach and brie - made me think about how much I enjoy food now. For those who knew me even 5 years ago may now marvel that I bought the largest box of spinach available at the store, or that I enjoyed the potato leek soup we made last week, drink coffee, and even manage to have a taco night every once in a while.
Of course, in the interest of Karma, we are not blessed with children who also enjoy the foods we cook - or at the very least - never BOTH of them on the same night (exceptions include Pizza Hut night and Breakfast for Dinner nights - see, we're not total food snobs). The kids tonight had chicken, potatoes, grapes, and pudding and it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out which two components of the meal they ate. Oh well. Perhaps they'll also come around in about 30 years....
So tonight was a roasted chicken with sweet onions, herb red potatoes, and lemony spinach. It was good. It was one of the longer recipes time-wise, so we did it on the weekend. We had enough leftover to save some chicken for sandwiches and create a broth for risotto later this week. (the broth is what's in the pan).
But we were eating and I was thinking about when we moved to Madison and decided we were going to try and eat healthier. We created meals around a protein, a veggie, and a starch. I remember feeling like an Adult. Ah - food world - we'd arrived! I loved those frozen pasta dinners from Bertolli and boxed potato and salad mixes were standard fare.
Our menus are now much more diverse (healthier.... ah, it's a toss up). But eating a meal tonight which was protein, veggie, starch - was kindof fun. Reflecting on my new favorites - scallops and risotto, french onion soup, or (compliments of the Scramble) - grilled spinach and brie - made me think about how much I enjoy food now. For those who knew me even 5 years ago may now marvel that I bought the largest box of spinach available at the store, or that I enjoyed the potato leek soup we made last week, drink coffee, and even manage to have a taco night every once in a while.
Of course, in the interest of Karma, we are not blessed with children who also enjoy the foods we cook - or at the very least - never BOTH of them on the same night (exceptions include Pizza Hut night and Breakfast for Dinner nights - see, we're not total food snobs). The kids tonight had chicken, potatoes, grapes, and pudding and it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out which two components of the meal they ate. Oh well. Perhaps they'll also come around in about 30 years....
a week and a half
The last day of classes is next Wednesday. Not that I'm counting down or anything. We get to this point in the semester and it always causes me to reflect on one of the key differences I noticed about Brian and I - way back when. Getting to the end of a long, arduous task (let's say a long bike ride), we're both tired and ready to be done. This generally causes Brian to dig into some sort of deep energy reserve that says to him (presumably) "here you go - take this energy and get it done!" at which point he conveniently speeds up under the plan of "if I can get there faster, it'll be done sooner."
My inner voice (on the contrary) stats reminding me how tired I am, how much farther I still need to go, and how much better I'd feel if I just slowed down. I can conserve my energy, thus improving my chances of having enough to make it to the end.
I think of this as I stare at the second-to-last homework assignments of the semester. The second to last week of classes. The last chapter of material to cover. I'm tired of grading, the thought of opening up 150 AutoCAD inventor files fills me with dread.
I need a second wind. I need to power through and get it done. Or - LOL - perhaps I can get Brian to do it.
My inner voice (on the contrary) stats reminding me how tired I am, how much farther I still need to go, and how much better I'd feel if I just slowed down. I can conserve my energy, thus improving my chances of having enough to make it to the end.
I think of this as I stare at the second-to-last homework assignments of the semester. The second to last week of classes. The last chapter of material to cover. I'm tired of grading, the thought of opening up 150 AutoCAD inventor files fills me with dread.
I need a second wind. I need to power through and get it done. Or - LOL - perhaps I can get Brian to do it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)