To all the no-longer teachers

Want to remember why you left teaching?  Let me remind you.

1) Grading.  OMG, I'm so far behind on grading.  Perhaps my summer vacation will be spent reading a book on teaching without grading.  Is there such a book?  There must be. 

Here's my issues with grading:
a) students rarely look at anything beyond the number - UNLESS - all you put on there is a number.  I'm pretty sure they like the idea that you've given them feedback more than they like the feedback.  Here - let me spend several hours giving you detailed feedback on what you should improve = same mistakes next time.  Fine, not worth my time, so here's a number of points. "Wait - why did I lose 2 points here? I don't understand why Jimmy got 5 points and I got 4.5 points." 

I think I might start writing illegible gibberish just to look like feedback.

b) partial credit.  I'm going to move to an all-or-nothing system.  No partial credit ever.  I fielded a question today on would I let them turn in work FROM A MULTIPLE CHOICE EXAM for partial credit.  Um.  No.  You don't get to have "the best of both worlds" when it comes to tests.  Either you can solve the problem having no idea what the answer might be and I'll give you some credit for trying if you get it wrong.  OR - you can have the opportunity to see a select set of possible answers and choose the one supported by your work.  You can't use a set of answers to get "pretty close" to the correct answer and then ask for partial credit on it.  I don't know if you worked from the problem to the answer or from the answer backwards.  Either way - you have a 25% chance of getting it right by guessing!  You don't get to take the correct score for the shit you guessed on and then add more points for the ones you didn't.

c) extra credit.  You are in college.  There is no more extra credit.  Welcome to Life.

2) Annoying students.  This semester I have a student who sits through my class without taking any notes "to better pay attention to what I'm saying" and then comes in to my office for an extra hour a week because he can't figure out how to do the homework problems.  You know what would help.  NOTES.  I even suggested that he just periodically take out his cell phone and snap a picture of the whiteboard.  Nope. 

I've also been asked for extra credit, partial credit (see above), and credit for trying.  I've had students tell me that they can't make the final exam time - THE DATE WAS AVAILABLE ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE SEMESTER.  You had 4 months to figure it out.  I have no sympathy.

And then students who expect me to solve their problems.  knock-knock.... here's the horrible story of my life right now and why I was unable to do x,y,z.  My response: I'm terribly sorry to hear that.  Student: so.......  Me: so........  long awkward pause.  Here's the thing.  I don't pretend to know anyone's motivations.  If you have something going on - come to me with a PLAN.  My brother died, could I have an extra week to do this assignment?  Me: yes, sure.  Student: My brother died.  Me: Oh, I'm sorry. 

Which one got you what you wanted?  I don't know what will work for you and if I propose something unworkable - then I'm the one who ends up being unreasonable.  "My brother died and Prof. Douglas only gave a 2 day extension.  It was due on the same day as the funeral.  Can you believe it?"


I know that it's the end of the year and I am tired and grumpy.  It feels a little better to rant for a few minutes.