Basketball

Jacob is in the middle of basketball season.  He loves it - and unlike soccer (where he simply laughs when the ball happens to come to his feet) he seems to have a sense of where to be and what to do.  He's playing with his old friends from daycare - Kaden and Matt - whose parents are also the coaches.  Kaden's mom is the health sciences professor at UWFox, and so knows what she's doing teaching the kids to play.  I just love to watch because it's incredibly cute.

 Offense

Defense

It's not easy being green....

Graphs happen when your mom is a nerd. 

In addition to celebrating birthdays, we also took Allison to the doctor last week for her annual checkup.  She's grown 3/4 of an inch since June and gained a pound.  It's actually quite the growth spurt for her.  Usually, those are the numbers we see in a year.

However, she's not growing enough (as was evidenced by the vast height discrepancy between her and every other kid at her birthday party.  Why are we concerned?  Well, the average kid would be the blue line, a 50th percentile.  Perhaps you are simply destined to be small.... you would be on the red line.   You're making similar progress but not keeping up.  However, you're not falling behind.  rather than 5 foot 6, you end up as 5 foot 2.

Then there is the green curve.  This is the curve of "not only are your not keeping up - the lag increases the farther we go."  This is the curve of "perhaps you'll end up being 4 foot 6, if that."  

Since Allison started out small (always under 25%, and hanging out near 3-5% for a long time), we weren't sure if we were on the red curve or the green curve.  Sometimes you have a "constitutional growth delay," which is that your body thinks it's 4 years old when really it's 7 year old.  This is not too bad because that means that rather than stopping growth at aged 15 or 16; you might still be growing a little at aged 20.  This gives you a little more time to catch up.

Given that she's been lagging since kindergarten now, there's a pretty good change we're on the green curve.  Not only have we fallen off the chart (there aren't percentage lines that apply anymore), we're barely trending upwards.  (while 3/4 of an inch was great - it should have been about 2-3 inches at her age.)

So, time to investigate, and investigating sounds like not a lot of fun - blood tests (thyroid, hormone), bone scans (density and age), and trips to see the specialists in Madison.  Potentially more decisions about controversial medications.

But sitting in the doctor's office, I thought about how much we measure against things like we do with growth curves.  There's math and reading proficiencies, social skills benchmarks, fine and gross motor skills.  We're always measuring against something.  With Allison and her all-elusive "non-specific developmental delays," we pay more attention to these measurements.  We always hope for the red curve; and sometimes find ourselves on the green.  This is followed by more decisions about when and how to intervene - more therapy, different therapy, will she re-qualify for assistance in school?  And you make all these decisions with no idea what the rest of the curve looks like.  For the scientific mind, there's no control group - no "hey look, this is where we'd be if we hadn't XYZ."  Really there is only one curve, a pink one that's just Allison, and it's full of swirls and loops.

So, we'll investigate this growth delay and see where it take us.  Nowhere but up.... literally.

Turning 9

Allison had her birthday party yesterday (a week late).  Seriously, I think with her birthday (11th), party (18th) and Christmas - she's just going to expect  presents to open on Sundays.

 

She had her party at this swimming lesson place.  They are all dressed up in mermaid tails that they could swim with during the party if they wanted to.

 Michael, Grace, Isabella, Eli, Melanie

Brooke, Allison, Alyssa

I have, of course, become a huge fan of having a party "not at our house."  The kids swam for an hour (private party, so we were the only ones in the pool), then ate pizza, did presents, then had cupcakes.  It was just the right amount of time, plenty of activity, and the kids had fun.  Also, Allison wanted boys and girls this year (plus with Jacob and his friend, we had kids in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades) so swimming was nice and gender/age-neutral.

This is Allison on the previous Sunday (her actual birthday) enjoying her birthday cupcake, self-decorated with Oreo frosting.

Will catch up soon

Somewhere there are pictures of Allison's birthday that will be posted.  There may be musing about holiday parties, retention letters, endocrinologists, doggie lymphoma, and all the other things swirling around.  For now - it's the last day of classes for me and I am HAPPIEEE!  Yeah - that's with an "ie" - I combined happy and yippee. 

BTW - my students hate me right now.  They are currently cursing my name as they prepare their final presentations on how the university can actually MAKE money by putting up a windmill (they are dilusional).  They hate deadlines, group projects, presentations, and long papers.  I gave them all of that in one big whopper package.  It's called "Revenge of the College Professor."  Yeah, sure, there's pedegogial reasons, and things they are learning, and applying, and it's just like the "Real World."  The project is assigned at other campuses where the same class is taught and totally vetted by the Powers that Be.  But some students spent the better part of the term texting under their desks and failing to turn in thier homework on time..... coming to class late and asking "Did I miss anything?"  (of course not, the world stops when you aren't here).  So, seeing them actually have to do "work," things that you cannot memorize, cannot copy from one another, and cannot do at the absolute last minute does my heart good.  All the things that I used to curse my own college professors about. 

Of course, the last laugh does come back on me because do you know how long it will take me to grade all that stuff???

A boy in his underwear.

This is the story of how Jacob ended up in his underwear in the car (heading to school) and I finally give up the Mother-of-the-Year goat.  Oh, wait, that happened like in January.  Never mind.

So this morning we got up late, as has been the case  every morning this week because the sun goes down at 3:30pm and comes up again at 9:30am.  Ok, I'm exaggerating (a little).  This week has been a battle to get ready for school.  Clearly the novelty of earning 15 more minutes of video games for getting dressed and out the door has worn off.

Child 1 (who cares not about video games and will dress herself in only velvet dresses if given any choice) was compliant about allowing me to slip on pants (gasp!) and a t-shirt at 7:50am while distracted by TV and sipping a yogurt smoothie (breakfast of champions!). 

Child 2 (who due to the totally unfair forces of nature is required to dress himself in the morning) yelled something to the effect of "these were NOT the underwear I wanted mom - GO GET ME NEW UNDERWEAR."  Well, if there is a sure fire way to make me NOT do something - it's that.  "Um, excuse me, but if you would have asked nicely, I probably would have gotten them for you but since you yelled and demanded, I think my answer is No."

The morning then proceeded like this:
"Mom, you have to get me new underwear!!!"  "No" x 10 - lasting about 5 minutes.
"I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO GET DRESSED!" (7:58am, deadline 8:00am)
Me: "How much time do you need?"
"5 minutes" - the irony of the earlier 5 minute fight can be inserted here.
"Ok - 5 minutes, I'll start the timer"
"DON'T START IT NOW - start it at 8:00am"
"Ok."
"No, wait - START IT AT 8:01am."
"No, you said 8:00am, then 8:00am - I'm just doing what you asked."
"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" x I don't know how long, but the timer was started at 8:00am and the wailing lasted several minutes.
"How much time do I have left?"
"1 minute 49 seconds"
"IT'S NOT ENOUGH TIME!  AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"

Me: "We're leaving and you are going in whatever you are wearing."

Allison meanwhile  has put on her coat an says "Mom, this is the best morning ever!!"

OMG.  So I gather up backpacks, supplies, clothes (not including the underwear that was deemed unacceptable - he can wear the same pair today, I don't care) and deposit them in the car.  I return to the house to find Jacob standing at the kitchen door "you forgot these, mom!" and chucks the underwear at me.  Okay.....

So I gather up boy currently in yesterday's underwear only and carry him outside (30 degrees) and deposit him into the car.  Time to go.

This is the point that I begin to take a little pity and we actually sat in the garage while he put his clothes on (new, totally unacceptable original underwear included) and headed off to school.  Allison pipes up again "That was totally awesome." followed by "Mom, Jacob hit me with his glove!"

Yes, happy holidays - TGIF!

Remember learning language?

I don't.  It's like one of the most fundamental elements of our daily lives and I rarely recall picking it up.  When was the last time you used a word incorrectly or spoke a word incorrectly?  (we'll give everyone - myself included - a spelling and grammar pass.)

So I've been helping with Jacob's class by writing out the word wall word cards (a set of index cards that kids get each week with the words they are learning).  There are twenty kids in Jacob's class.  After writing the word "they" twenty times, you begin to wonder why would anyone (who didn't already know) would assume that the "ey" is pronounced as an "A"?  Or Allison's spelling words this week were "oy" sounds, which are sometimes oy - like employ, and sometimes oi like noise.


And it's not just reading but listening too, especially when your parents tend to use long words - like "recommended."  This one came up in the car last night when Jacob asked if it was impossible to swim across Little Lake Butte Des Morts ("b' you da more" - speaking of impossible pronunciation) and I said that it was not impossible but probably not recommended. 

Jacob - bless him - turns around and tries to use it in a sentence: Cartwheels are not recommended, that's why you have to practice.

Ah.... "not impossible" interpreted as "difficult."  More explanation into the definition of the word "recommended."  Jacob's revised sentence: Cartwheels are not easy, that's why you have to practice.  Ok - it doesn't use the word "recommended" but we'll go with it anyway.

Earlier in the day, we spend a long time with the more difficult concept of "extended family."  That was a long one because language is also nuanced (a word that we'll probably have to define sometime too).  BTW - the kids were sad to learn that Lauri's sisters and their kids were not going to be in Springfield for Christmas.  On a different note - Allison thought that Mackenzie would be a great candidate for president one day (that discussion happened later in the night as I was explaining why there had been no female presidents yet and we couldn't vote for a female president this time because the only one running was, well... crazy - so we were trying to think of good women who could be president).

In addition to the subtle points of definitions - there is the overwhelming challenge of hearing a word once and then trying to repeat it.  This offers some of the most amusing (from our perspective) elements of learning language, but we have to remind ourselves sometimes not to laugh.  For example, Jacob took to calling Oklahoma the "Alcohol State" (likely derived from Oklahoma State football).  How do you not chuckle at that?

Not a happily drugged girl

Allison had a cavity (actually two, with a few smaller "areas of interest.")  They are all in baby teeth, but at the rate she's losing baby teeth, the dentist figured she'd have these until she was about 14.  We're actually still waiting for the 6-yr molars to appear.

So, we decided to fill the cavities.  This required a numbing, which required a needle, which required sedation.  So, we picked up a tablet of valium at Walgreen's yesterday and gave it to her at 7am this morning. 

Since her appointment was at 8am, I dropped Jacob off at Allison's friend Melanie's house (right by the dentist) so that he could ride to school with her.  Apparently the joy of a day off of school vegging on the couch watching TV was not sufficient to balance the injustice of having your brother get to hang out with your friend for 10 minutes before school. 

Allison was in the backseat just wailing about how much she misses Melanie and why can't SHE go to Melanie's before school.

"It's not FAIR MOM!"
"She's MY friend!"
"I want to see Melanie!"
"I would call her but I don't even know her PHONE NUMBER!!  I only know MY phone number!!  AHHHHHHHHH!"

She was still wailing when we arrived at the dentist's office, much to the chagrin of the other parents in the waiting area.  Upset about the dentist.... nah.  Upset that little brother gets to ride with friend to school while she spends the WHOLE DAY at home. 

Of Course It Would!!

So Allison goes to school today with her new short haircut.

Of course a letter comes home informing us that someone in her class had head lice.

(Allison does not have head lice - I don't know if it was someone else or what)

Ok, winds of fate, I'm not laughing anymore!

Also, why does the headlice letter make your head itch?

Beauty School Dropout

Never good to get a fearful/tearful phone call from your babysitter.

Probably worse to start laughing when she tells you that your daughter somehow had scissors in her bedroom and decided to give herself a haircut when said babysitter thought she was sleeping.

I should have known the night was going to be weird.  It was the end of a weird week, we were out with friends watching a band full of people that we knew, and then there were two of Allison's classmates at the bar.  Yeah, you read it right - 3rd graders at a bar on Friday night.  Gotta love Wisconsin!  I think this also speaks clearly to the status of our social life.

So we returned home (eventually - I mean, why rush, what's done is done and now we clearly need a drink!).  I made Brian promise that he wouldn't get her up to look until I got back from taking the babysitter home - as I thought it would be harmful to the esteem of the sitter if we rushed in an immediately ran upstairs to take a look-see.  I do really like our sitter, and I don't believe that it was her fault anyway - unless she'd supplied the scissors and said "hey, you'd look cut with a mullet."

And a mullet is what it was.  There were three lengths that aren't conveyed clearly in this picture (the 2-inch bangs, the 4 inch sides, and then 12 inch back that was clearly unreachable with last-year's snub-nosed 5-inch school fiskars).  I can say that it was worst than I hoped, but better than I feared.  I did a midnight google search of pixie haircuts to convince myself that it would be OK and in the morning did another search for a reputable haircut salon that was open on Sunday (this was not a job for Cost Cutters).  We ended up at JC Penney (a small step up, but a step up none-the-less).

This is what we managed.  It makes me a little ill when I consider that we spent 2 years growing out the bangs, and her hair was finally braid and ponytail-able.  She (of course) is happy as a clam with her new short 'do, and was slightly offended that I took a side trip to Claire's post-cut to purchase some big bows and headbands to hide what the stylist couldn't ("I can't really fix this big chunk here without taking off another 2 inches all around").  I even contemplated getting her ears pierced so that people would know that she's a girl, but then my rational mind figured that Brian would have to be present for that endeavor because I would clearly be laid out on the floor and that's no good for anyone.

So the new mantra: hair grows, and it could be worse.  (and if I repeat this several times, perhaps I will start to believe it too.....)

As the saying goes

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.....

People these days

I don't know about you all - but a frequent topic of conversation at the faculty lunch table is the eroding lack or etiquette - particularly among students - particularly in their e-mails.  I love the ones that come in something like this:

jamie,
i m not going to be in class. r we doing anything important?
(rarely a name included here)


But today I was also the recipient of an e-mail intended for Jacob's soccer coach.  It was as follows:

"Can we get some work on when and how to get the pictures from Saturday?  I felt it was very unorganized for the parents and even the kids.

Thank you."

The Thank You seems a little insincere if you ask me.  No "Dear Coach" and no name signed (and no rereading of the e-mail).  I went ahead and responded (noting that they probably didn't mean to send it to me) but gave them the (previously distributed) info on the photographer's website and noticed that the pictures were not posted yet.  No big shock since the pictures were only on Saturday.

Sometimes I think we forget that there are actual people on the receiving ends of these e-mails.

Quitting

I think Allison quit choir tonight.  Since piano had gone so well this past year (Allison has stuck with something for a year!), I had thought that the non-audition girl choir would be a good fit - and it was - for two weeks.  Then she didn't want to go, and last week went very badly.  And then she didn't want to go again and Mom caved. 

Here's the dilemma - I feel that we need to instill in the kids that when they agree to something they need to follow through.  And we'd probably never let Jacob quit something midway through - double standard alert!  But Allison has the power to make everyone miserable if she's forced into something against her will.  Incentives (bribes), consequences (threats), and guilt (guilt) have no affect on her.  And it becomes not just her and me - but her and me and the choir director and all the other girls in choir.  Is it fair to them?

I'm sure there are opinions aplenty about the choices that we (as parents) make and the battles we choose to fight or not.  I recall a recent conversation with another mother about having her kids make the beds and my thought was "well, there's your problem - skip the whole 'making the bed' thing."  We simply don't make the beds because that's a battle with a very high cost to benefit ratio.  I'm sure to many people it's unheard of to not have kids make the beds (or have beds made in general).

The thing with Allison is that most issues have a very high cost to benefit ratio - therefore you have to save your energy for those things that matter more.  It's MORE important to me that she stick with piano than argue about every afterschool activity because she doesn't want to go to choir.  It's MORE important that we get out the door in the morning without tears (mostly) than that the kids make their beds. 

Also, I'm secretly a little tired of running around.  Choir, brownies, piano, soccer practice, soccer games, cub scouts, therapy.  It's possible I saw a small glimmer of freedom appear on Monday afternoons (soon to be the only day without an after-school activity).  I guess if she doesn't want to do it - I'm not going to force this issue.

Jacob Says

Jacob quotes:

Math is just slapping numbers around.

The solar system is like when all the planet gather around the sun because the sun is going to tell them a story.

Huh?

The kids are speaking a new language and I am still in the interpreting phase.  Our conversation on the way home from school:

Mom: What was your favorite thing about school today?
Allison: I got a Berry Buck for Line Basics.
Jacob: I didn't get any Berry Bucks, but I mostly kept my hands in my space and our class earned two Compliments.
Allison: Also, I did three laps on the Bobcat Track for Fit In 15.

Granted, I think there was a parent meeting last week for this program they've implemented at the school that would have provided some background, but I totally blew that off.  I think we had 4 other things going on that night and it was low on the priority list.  So, we'll just have to figure it out, which is challenging because the kids are not good conveyors of information.

Me: What's a Compliment?
Jacob: Something you get for walking in line.
Me: I thought that was Line Basics.
Jacob: No, silly.
Me: Allison, does your class get Compliments?
Allison: No, our class doesn't do Compliments.

Madtown

 

We spent Saturday in Madison - first at the downtown farmer's market.  It's more crowded than I remember (but Appleton's had gotten more crowded the last few years too), and they have some nice stands.  Since we couldn't purchase old favorites like Brunkow cheese - we bought some bread, rolls, maple syrup, and applesauce.

Then it was off to the Badger tailgate party for lunch and into the stadium.  I kept my winning streak alive by scoring serious nosebleed seats. We were actually the last row - but that was OK - we got a nice perspective on the field:

 It was also colder than we expected - as the weather said 61 degrees.  It was kindof windy, and we were a little sheltered with concrete wall behind us.  People were wearing everything from winter hats and gloves (prepared people) to t-shirts and flip flops.  So we were clearly not the only people expecting slightly better weather.  They were not selling hot cocoa anywhere.

 The kids made it through halftime but we left in the third quarter.  Also, it was band day, which I was extremely excited about when I saw the HS bands lined up at the end - but then they never took the field!  They played only from their seats.  Ack!  My favorite part of HS band day at IL was watching the totally un-synchronized baton and flag corp march around the field.  I know - it's mean.  But seriously there is always this one superstar who started baton twirling lessons at aged two doing her own unrelated thing, and then 30 other girls trying desperately to follow the extremely simple routine they were supposed to be doing for the show.  Loved it.

The one thing I will say for Wisconsin football is that their student section is one of the best I've ever seen.  Block I would not stand a chance.  They are singing and doing things almost the whole time.  What I remember most about my time in Block I was standing the whole game and raising cards over my head.  Though happily the kids never heard or asked about the Eat S**t, F**k You chant.

After the same we had Babcock Hal ice cream at the new Union South and then walked (a mile or two) back to our car at the capitol building.  Love college football - even if it's the Badgers and not the Illini.

I Hate Culver's Night

Tonight was Culver's Night for Allison and Jacob's school.  This meant that the PTO got 10% of all sales between 4-7 pm at our local Culver's.  So, let's ponder why I hate Culver's Night.

(1) It forces me to violate my primary rule of eating out, which is "No Fast Food In Appleton."  This rule was created in order to eliminate "Can we go to McDonald's?" every time we passed a McDonald's, which is almost every time we go anywhere.  Now, I'm going to have to field "Can we go to Culver's?" for the next two months.

(2) The kids get pressure.  Allison had "Culver's night tomorrow" and "Culver's night tonight" in her assignment notebook yesterday and today.  Math worksheet (check), totally unhealthy dinner of fried cheese and butterburgers (check).  Jacob came home with a sticker, presumably because he doesn't have an assignment notebook to write in.

(3) It's a friggin zoo.  Every table is full from 4-7, the lines are long (we waited 1/2 hour), and it's LOUD.  This is a recipe for a meltdown for kids who don't process sensory stimuli very well.  Both kids were upset because their friends and teachers weren't there at the same time that we were.  I was upset because I think Culver's decided to trial-by-fire their new fall employees.

(4) The irony factor.  On Monday we received a list of appropriate healthy snacks to send with our children each day.  They include crackers, cheese, pretzels, yogurt, fruit, and veggies.  We are asked not to stray from this list for any reason.  I believe that Culver's does not sell a single solitary item on the approved list. 

(5) Our "contribution" to the PTO came to a whopping $1.80.  Which is oddly both a small bit of money (could I have just given you $2), and the testament that fast food is not always cheap food (I think a healthy meal at home for three people could be well under $18)

I'm sure that I'd rather suffer the night at Culver's than sell $150 worth of wrapping paper (which, ironically would also net the PTO about $1.80) - but seriously, there has got to be a better fundraiser.

Who knew?

All their hidden talents:



The video uploaded a little grainy - it's Jacob in the red shirt.

Back to school

The kids went back to school this week.

I thought I'd post last year's picture first: (2010)


Followed by this year's picture: (2011)


The school certainly looks better landscaped this year. I'll let you spot the other key differences.

Both enjoyed their first week. Allison was happy to be called on to answer a math question on the board. Jacob was happy to be a "grader" this year. Jacob says math is simple but reading is hard. Allison says reading is easy and math is hard. I'm glad they are off to a good start, though.

Oh my goodness... does this suck?

So, I've learned that if you go to the upper bar on blogger it will take you to "Next Blog." Let me say that I am totally unimpressed with whatever people are writing in the "next blog." Are these my virtual neighbors?

If so - let me tell you a little about them:

(1) they are SUPER religious. I mean, spreading the gospel - tech style. A quick view through the next 10 blogs reveal that at least 7 of them are primarily about God. Who knew?

(2) if they aren't religious, they are likely people sharing their hobbies - like photography or cooking. Ok, well, I guess I can have some artsy - fartsy people around my blog; and that banana bread pudding does look pretty good. Although, for those good at both cooking and photography - please stay away lest my waistline expand enough to consume your whole blog.

(3) give kudos to the hobby-ists and Jesus-lovers because they do at least stick with it. A fair number of my virtual neighbors wrote two posts and said the heck with this. "Hey World, I'm blogging now!" April 16, 2008.

(4) and then there are the truly terrible blogs. The woman whose posts are all written as letters to her kids: "Dear Dominic, I love you so much and let me recount the details of the birth of your baby brother for you..... Love you always and forever - Mom"

My virtual neighbors do change each time, but I'm consistently disappointed with the results. I'm concerned that google has placed me in this neighborhood due to either my pissy blog traffic, sporadic posting, or that one post I made about Jesus. Perhaps I will have to reinvent myself.....

Fair thee well

We visited both the WI and IL state fair's this year. Cousin Michelle joined us at the WI state fair in Milwaukee. We did our favorites, the bunny/chicken barn; a few rides in the midway, the Wisconsin Products pavilion (yum!) and cream puffs (the puff is really secondary to the cream).





The following weekend we went to the IL state fair with cousins Kellen and Chloe. The Douglas "core" flocked to the pronto pups and lemon shake-ups. I think the IL State Fair food takes second place to WI's food - but the homemade ice cream was pretty good.

Jacob and Kellen chose the giant bungy bounce thing as their ride. It was $7, but with no line, I think they might have gotten to jump a little extra time. Allison and Chloe stuck to the old favorite - the merry-go-round.

Donate me not

I wanted to make a contribution to a campaign to give away school supplies to low income families sponsored by our local newspaper. They have been short on donations this year. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I:

1) went to the newspaper's website that had no link to the campaign from the front page.

2) used the search engine of the newspaper's website which linked me to the last twos year's campaigns as the top two most relevant links.

3) followed the link to this year's campaign, only to find that it was an archive of news stories about the campaign.

4) read the very, very fine print on the side of the archive which said if you want to donate, go to this website. There was no hyperlink, you had to type it in your browser.

5) I typed it in, only to be taken to a different fund raising campaign also sponsored by the local newspaper.

I have still not found the link to give to this year's school supply event.

A life of it's own

Last year we a built a compost bin. And throughout the year we filled it up. The soil wasn't quite garden ready this year so we let it sit. Apparently, it had it's own plans.



I don't remember putting watermelon in there, but apparently we did:

These moments

Take me out to the ballgame

The baseball season ended for Allison on Saturday. They had a one inning game and then got their trophies. I caught Allison on camera with her patented "Safe" call at home plate. Allison declared she was done with baseball on Saturday morning - but after she played and got the medal, she changed her mind and decided to play again next year.

A lazy afternoon

Nothing says summer like chillin' in the camp chair in my swimsuit.....

I believe this was right before he declared "I'm BORED." Definitely summer.

Where did this week go?

Time flies!

BTW - Jacob picked out "Boxer Briefs" at the store today as part of his back-to-school shopping. He was sooooo excited because apparently he wore some of Kellen's once???

But then he refused to put on pajamas over the boxer briefs so that he could sleep "just like Daddy does."

Sometimes I Zone Out

Jacob is talkative and observant and curious. This leads to constant chatter when we're in confined spaces - like the car. The chatter is somewhat more diffuse in the house due to all the other "things to do there." I think that most of the time I try to pay attention, but sadly I'm often thinking about where we're going, why we're going, or the long list of things we need to do later.

So, sometimes I tune out. I think as parents we all do it to a certain degree. You hear moms and dads all the time mutter something to the effect of "um" or "uh-huh" or "nice, sweetie" when a child comes up and asks a question or shares a new and profound insight into the world like "look, there's a bird! And there's another bird! And look mom, another bird!"

Sometimes, however, you accidentally agree to something or confirm something that you don't mean to. For example, we were driving to the baseball game yesterday and Jacob was commenting on the last baseball game we we're at and how we'd seen a truck crash (loudly) on the highway from the parking lot. Jacob said something like "wouldn't it be awesome to see another car crash?" and I was like "yeah, awesome" and Brian (who was apparently paying more attention than I was) chimed in with "NO, that wouldn't be awesome - someone could get hurt in a car crash."

Oh, well, yes, I suppose there's that.

Jamie versus the Pool

Check out the pristine blue water in the swimming pool.....





"CANNONBALL!!"


Reasons why I don't recommend anyone install a swimming pool in Wisconsin:

1) Summer is short. Until mid-June swimming is synonymous with blue lips and goose bumps, also August is not all that warm either (usually the hottest month in our central IL memories but not so in northern WI).

2) You need a chemistry degree. Seriously, I have a degree that includes water treatment processes and I've NEVER balanced the pH in the pool. We have flocculants, disinfectants, pH adjusters, and diatomaceous earth. Plus the host of things you need to either "close" or "open" the pool each year.

3) You need a plumbing license. Twice per summer (three times last year before we took the cottonwoods out) I disassemble the filter and clean out the filter tubes. We've also fixed leaks in the solar panel, disassembled the pump, and arranged the hoses in every conceivable in/out possibility between the pool, pump, and solar heater.

4) It's more expensive that a pool membership. This is actual costs for chemicals, covers and repairs. If you pay yourself for time spent working on the pool - then you could probably afford the super-deluxe country club exclusive personal pool membership for the summer.

5) You really don't use it all that much. Sure, you probably actually get in it more times that you would go to a public pool - but the kids don't really like to STAY in it. The kids might swim for 20 minutes and be done (this is particularly true of Allison..... Jacob could still stay in for hours). Plus, there is a good chance that the sunny hot days will coincide with "big plans doing something else."

6) Finally, there is a roughly 1 to 2 ratio of vacation days to rebalancing and cleaning days. If you ignore the pool for a long 3 day weekend camping trip - expect to spend the next 6 days in a combination of shock, floc, and vacuum. If you are gone for a week - it's at least 1-2 more before it's clean enough that you want to get it in again.

So why not just take it out you ask? Good question.

Summer Concert Series

Allison and Jacob took advantage of the clear deck to have a little concert. I believe the title of the song was "Beetle Lightsaber."



Tomorrow morning, the deck guys will be back to stain the deck. We began two years ago to stain and waterproof the deck (which we believe had nothing put on it ever). The first year we did the actual deck and most of the rail. The second year we did part of the fence and the had the teenager across the street do more of the fence. Then by the spring of this year - the deck surface looked like crap. Time to "redo" and we never finished the "do."

So - we hired someone. The worst part is probably admitting that we, the homeowner, did a crappy unfinished job to begin with. Oh well. We also hired a landscaper and a roofer and a mudjacker for the driveway. So after this summer, the exterior of the house should be in good shape for at least a few months......

Bike Ride

Last weekend, Grandpa Jim and Grandma Darleen came up and we did a bike ride for the Best Friends of Neenah/Menasha. It was a "gourmet" bike ride - and Brian and I were skeptical of what gourmet meant.

I have to say we were pleasantly surprised. Grandpa and Grandma did the 25 mile route, but since we were pulling the kids on the trail-a-bikes, we only did 12. When we got to the first rest stop, there were homemade cookies, drinks, and fruit to snack on. Nice.



The kids enjoyed it, and it was followed by the gourmet lunch, which was sandwiches, soups, calzones, and desserts. It was tasty. We will definitely put it on the schedule fr next year too.

T-ball

Jacob has (mostly) enjoyed the t-ball season. They play a version where everyone hits and advances only one base - they don't keep score - and I have no idea how they decide an inning is over (they never make it to three outs). You do get out if you are tagged on base or caught out.

It's a great introduction, I guess. My favorite kid on the team is this little girl names Lily who always forgets to run to the next base and is frequently staring off into space when the ball comes her way. It reminds me that the "super cute" phase of sports is nearing a close. Competition will be the name of the game very, very soon.

4th of July

Everyone is home! After 2 weeks of trips to Springfield (Allison and Jacob), Vancouver (me), Pittsburgh (Brian), St. Louis (Allison, Jacob, Grandma and Grandpa), Grafton (family reunion!) and back to Springfield (me, Allison, and Jacob).... we're all home at the same time.

We had good times, though. Allison and Jacob sent back great reports from Springfield and a visit to their cousin Kellen and Chloe's house in St. Louis. The most memorable event was when Jacob won a Angry Bird stuffed animal out of one of those claw game machines (who wins those??). Also, we heard that Grandma and Grandpa spent an hour looking for Allison's lost flip flops only to learn that Kellen and Jacob had tossed them onto the roof!

Brian and I picked the kids up for the family reunion weekend down at Pere Marquette State Park. We had a nice time visiting with all the other cousins (pictured below). Ten kids - 9 boys and one girl (also - you can see that Allison is the second oldest, but the 7th tallest).



The river was really high, and we realized that within a 2 week time span, we'd been at the confluence of the Wisconsin and Mississippi Rivers as well as the confluence of the Illinois and Mississippi Rivers.

The kids enjoyed playing with their cousins, performing in the talent show, learning the Jackson family talent:



Brian flew home for work and the kids and I spent a few more days in Springfield with cousins Dane and Quin - including swimming and taking in some (less than spectacular) fireworks.

We had lots of fun, but it's also good to be home again.

Grandmas and Grandmpas

May - June was grandparent visit time. First Grandma Mary came up (apparently, I missed a picture) and hung out for a few days.

Then we had Grandma Sue and Grandpa Bruce, who helped out with Jacob's birthday party and we enjoyed a fun trip to Bay Beach and a Breakfast on the Farm in Brown Cty.



Then Grandma Darleen and Grandpa Jim visited on their way home from Yellowstone. We drove way out into the country to experience another Breakfast on the Farm in Outagamie Cty.



We enjoyed seeing everyone and having visitors to play and do fun things with. Come back soon!

Happy Day

On Jacob's birthday, Brian took the day off work and we went up to Bay Beach with Grandma Sue and Grandpa Bruce.

We got to ride the new roller coaster - the Zippin Pippin. Jacob did not want to ride it, but the kids had plenty of fun at the other rides. And at 25 cents per ride and minimal lines - they rode a lot.





It was, unfortunately, record high temps at 97 degrees, but with a breeze off the lake, you didn't notice "too" much.



Then home for cake.


Overall, a very happy birthday.

Soccer

Continuing to play catch-up, last week was Jacob's last soccer game. This is his team (minus his friend Kaden, who couldn't make the last game).



They played back-to-back games and won the first and lost the second. Jacob scored two goals, which he was happy about. It was cold at the field that night, given that it had been 97 degrees on Tuesday; it was only 59 on Thursday. Everyone is in fleece in June. Welcome to soccer in Wisconsin.

Jacob's birthday party

Again - exactly one week late.... last Sunday was Jacob's birthday party with his friends. He wanted to have it at the park and fortunately the weather was beautiful.

The main reason we were at the park was to play kickball. Jacob LOVES kickball. So here are most of the kids (from a birds eye view) on the kickball field



Jacob on base.



We also had a water balloon toss, ate cake, opened gifts, and then played "volleyball" on the tennis courts with the 34" inflatable volleyball.

All the boys:


Jacob was a little disappointed that he didn't get to do everything he wanted to with his friends (we didn't have time for soccer or football) but I think everyone had a good time.

Last Day of School

Ok - so it was actually last Friday that was the last day of school. Here is our end-of-school picture. And yes, it was doctor confirmed that Jacob is 3/4 of an inch taller than Allison (not including the 2 inches of hair - which at the time of this picture was in desperate need of a trim).



Both kids had a lot of changes this year. Jacob passed all his kindergarten goals - or whatever you want to call the plus marks they put on the report card. His teacher noted in a number of occasions that he "works slowly." He also started to read, do basic addition / subtraction / multiplication, color within the lines and "add details", and - most importantly to Jacob - learned to play kickball (the preferred recess activity). He became much more coordinated this year and has taken in interest in any and all sports. Given that a year ago he would giggle and shield his face when you threw a ball at him, he's now running, punting, kicking, and scoring soccer goals.

Allison had a lot of changes in second grade too. She loved her teacher (wants her again next year), made huge strides in penmanship, learned to write whole paragraphs of her thoughts, mastered 3 digit addition and subtraction, and learned more than I care to know about mealworms. She had her first sleepover at someone else's house and her first sleepover at our house. She's also learned to play piano and loves her piano lessons.

We gulp a little when we say "3rd grader" and "1st grader." Wow.

Brutal, but....

Jacob's team lost another soccer game last night by a fairly wide margin. Again the other team was (on average) 6 inches taller.

BUT.... Jacob had a good game, scoring 4 goals - his first goals of the season. The first one was a hard kick - from a pretty good distance away - but it went right into the goal. It was seriously like you watched a lightbulb go on with him and he was like "Hey, I can SCORE!" Confidence. Then he did it three more times in the game.

Where's the cheese?

Oh, there's the cheese....

Sometimes my job feels a little like bait and switch. In 2010-2011 academic year, I taught only 1/2 the courses I was told that I would be teaching when I was hired. The other half were swapped (often last minute) because it's easy to find people to teach intro courses and harder to find people to teach upper level courses.

This meant that each semester I taught a course via something called Wisline Web. I am at my computer in my office on a conference call and with Microsoft Livemeeting open on my computer - the students are in classrooms all over the state on the same conference call (though their ends are muted) and a computer screen projecting my computer screen. I cannot see them, they cannot see me. For me, it's like talking to a wall for 75 minutes - for them I imagine it was a great time to check facebook and write papers for their comp classes. While I was kindof game when this dropped into my lab during the fall semester.... I was considerably less excited when it dropped into my lab for the spring semester too.

Additionally, I was supposed to have been given a course release to develop a new class, which was postponed, but I had to develop part of it anyway for fall (a little uncompensated contribution to the greater good, I suppose). Add another class I wasn't supposed to teach.

Armed with the assumption that no one else is going to advocate on my behalf, about mid-spring I appealed to my department chair and official mentor to please keep me out of distance ed (wisline web) because it's not a good fit. I did NOT mention that (oh by the way) I'm actually contracted to teach online, not dist ed (and yes, they're different).

So, with immense upheaval at UW Central wrt to the online program, I requested that if an online class gets canceled that I be assigned another online class - even though this means bumping an adjunct instructor (oh the power of tenure-track). Low and behold, the belated development release was put off for another year and I am left with a hole in my fall schedule.

Fortunately, I've been granted the online course I requested. (If another gets dropped, then I don't know what I'll do...). While I worried at the time that my request would sound whiny or complainy - it got the intended results. I don't think that it actually WAS whiny or complainy, but sometimes there is a fine line between when you should be a team player and when you should be a little bit selfish. We know we cannot always get our way, but we can't be doormats all the time either.

BTW - my release is now slated for fall 2012, so I hope my cheese ages well.

New Responsibility

What do the kids want most of all this summer? Freedom.

Freedom to make their own meals, freedom to choose their own clothes (though the act of getting them ON is something they'd still like help with), and freedom to wander the neighborhood without Mom or Dad tagging along.

Requests 1 and 2 are easy to grant.... request 3 is going to be hard for me. The kids can go around the block currently with a friend, with each other, or with the dog. Jacob this afternoon asked if he could go alone. I said OK. A few minutes later the neighbor across the street came over to ask if I knew he was in the street on Meadow Grove (the busier street that parallels ours). I said he was exploring the block.

But it was nice to know that the neighbors look out for the kids too. I see pretty soon it's going to be "can I go to the park?" or "can I take the long walk." Ack..... we're so happy to see them start walking when they are 1. Little do we know this is what it leads to - around the block, to the park, with their friends, in a car...... can I skip this part???

Perhaps I'll create a new mantra "I will not be a helicopter parent, I will not be a helicopter parent."

Soccer Pic

Jacob and his friend Kaden playing soccer the other week. I don't know what's with the pose....

not ideal

Not quite the sight I want in my face first thing in the morning....

The proprietery playdate

One side effect of the growth of playdates is the notion that they are some type of sacred contract between the invited and invitee. I seem to remember a much more organic style of playing when I was young. I would call Megan Stevens and we'd say something like "wanna play?" and then one of the other of us would be running through the backyards to get together. I also remember playing with multiple kids at a time (the three-is-a-crowd lesson learned over and over again). Maybe I have a rosy remembrance of the past.

The kids had a half-day today and the neighbor boy, who is in Jacob's class, had a playdate with another boy who is also in Jacob's class. I tried to keep Jacob entertained and we called several other friends because Jacob was pretty desperate to play with someone. No luck - many people were taking the long weekend to head out of town.

So after a few hours, Jacob ended up standing on the edge of the lawn staring over at the other two boys playing. I suggested that he simply go over and ask if he could play too. The more, the merrier, right? After a little back and forth between the boys, Jacob was invited to join them. Less than 5 minutes later, Jacob had been sent home by the neighbor dad.

I can kindof see two sides of the issue - one, Jacob and the neighbor get to play together often and played most of the afternoon last Friday until the neighbor was sent to his room for being mean to Jacob (a dynamic that is probably worthy of it's own post). The classmate wasn't invited over to play with the neighbor AND Jacob - also the playdate might have been a conscious effort to have the neighbor play with someone specifically other than Jacob.

But the other hand is that after he's been invited to join by the two boys - it seemed rude for the neighbor dad to then promptly send him home. It couldn't have been that the playdate classmate was excluded from play - there wasn't enough time for that.

I've decided that the neighbor dad just doesn't like his kids playing with our kids. I've talked to enough parents with similar stories to know this isn't a unique situation. I'm sure there were kids I played with that my parents didn't care for. I don't ever remember my parents sending anyone home. "I'm sorry Lori..... Jamie and Nancy are playing right now."

Jacob is now happily playing with his friend Dominic. No lingering problems other Mom trying to keep her opinions to herself.

Brutal

Jacob's soccer team lost their game last night in what can easily be called a crushing defeat. We lost count, but the score was something like 20-4. I throw out the old cliches of "you win some, you lose some" and "playing a good team makes you play better." The kids were not really buying it.

It seems that at this age, the winning team is decided largely on who has the better single player. Our team doesn't have one of those players and the team they played against had 3. Also, Jacob's team is very young - it's supposed to be 5K. Jacob's team are almost all late spring / summer birthdays. And they have two kids who are not even 5 yet but are playing in the league as exceptions. This makes them the youngest team, and in some cases almost 2 years younger than the opposing team.

I know there aren't good solutions there will always be winners and losers, and really the kids are out there to have fun (it's why we chose the league and not the other in town). But you also want the kids to have fun, and kids equate "fun" with "winning." So, the other team had lots of fun. I'm guessing they have fun every week.

Holy Productivity Batman!

E-waste to recycling center -
Library books returned -
Checks deposited at bank -
Park Pavilion reservation paid -
Lab supplies ordered -
Plane tickets refunded -
Daycamp deposit dropped off -

Productive 2 hours!

Jacob's birthday

Well, it officially must be nice weather on June 5th, since we're having Jacob's birthday party at the park. He wants a sports themed party, specifically kickball. This might be more work than last year's YMCA bouncy birthday party, but that's OK. It's still not at our house.

(the rain plan is to go bowling)

If anyone falls into the central venn diagram category of people who (a) read this blog and (b) are inclined to purchase Jacob a birthday present: here are a few ideas. Super Mario Party for Wii; Star Wars Character Encyclopedia book; any type of playground ball; and outdoor games like croquet or horseshoes.

Summer solstice

I am lodging my first official complaint about summer, on the day I sent the kids to school and they were asking if they needed mittens. (when will it warm up????)

It's really, really light out. I slept with the window open last night, and had to get up and shut it around 4:30am because the birds were too noisy and it was beginning to get light out. I think the birds were noisy first, but the approaching twilight made me totally misjudge the time. Allison woke up at 5:10am and it WAS light out. Also - Allison woke up at 5:10 am.... ack!

Then I just took the trash out at 9:30 pm and you could still see hints of light blue on the western horizon. Summer, I like you, but you mess with my sleep.

Math mania

a.k.a. - what to do when your 5-year old can multiply?

Jacob seems to have an aptitude for math. I suppose with two engineers for parents, this should come as no big shock. I think what's kindof weird however - is how well he seems to understand the concepts behind the numbers. He just sees how they work together and can apply a new idea after seeing just one or two examples. We've decided it's a little bit creepy.

He also has the benefit of observing the 2nd grade math that Allison brings for homework, which introduces him to concepts not normally in the kindergarten curriculum. Beginning last week - it was multiplication. We explained in the car one day that 2 times 4 was the same thing as adding the number 2 "four times." This explanation plus the free math baseball app that Grandma Sue recommended and Jacob now knows all his multiplication tables up to 6 x 6. This morning he asked me if I knew that 100 times 100 was 10,000.

It's not just add subtract and multiply, either - he's started to grasp is negative numbers. "Mom, what's 5 minus 100? - Negative 95!" And fractions - this morning Jacob holding up 7 fingers and asking how many hours he has if he has this many half hours. (He said 4 - which was incorrect).

So, do we encourage this math learning, or do we just let him develop it out of curiosity? Also, if anyone knows of any good math computer games or iphone apps - please let me know. Jacob's not a big fan of "workbooks" the way that Allison was.

Guess who?

On behalf of United Airlines and our United Express partner, SkyWest Airlines, please accept our sincere thanks for your patience and understanding during what we know was an extended delay in reaching Denver on May 18th.

I was alerted of the circumstances surrounding our decision to return back to Milwaukee to seek medical attention for an ill customer. I am truly sorry for the disruption of your travel plans and want to thank you for your understanding as we made preparations to get you to your destination.

I hope you will allow us the privilege to serve your travel needs again in the near future.

Sincerely,

Peggy Beirne
United Airlines
Customer Care

More Jacob Quotes:

"Only my friends and my cousins can play with my balls"

"Do they have apples in Minneapolis? - It's Minnie, apple-less. Apple-less means: with no apples. Do they get them from other places?"

Hard Labor

Allison is in for some hard labor. Ok, well, it'll be mostly cleaning, but 5 hours worth. Saturday afternoon, in what we can probably described as wanton tiredness and monumentally poor decision-making, Allison damaged some stuff in Jacob's room (which we discovered when we put Jacob to bed at night). After much yelling and a young girl who went straight to bed, Brian and I were unable to doll out any punishment at the time. Ok, to be honest, we couldn't really think of anything.

Punishing Allison is a challenge, and I mean that it's difficult to find appropriate and consistent consequences. There isn't anything to "take away" that means anything to her (like losing an hour of video games is enough to get Jacob to do just about anything). Plus, the whole world of "punishment" is full of wonderful advice like "reward good behavior" and "authoritarian parents will pay for it later with rebellion" and "use a poor choice as a teachable moment." Uh, huh. I'm sure that advice works well for some kids. It does not work well for all kids.

We have "rules" and praise the kids when they solve a problem without fighting, or try a new food on their own. We try never to say mean and hurtful things to them, even if they call us "poopy butt" or something worse they heard at school. But there will come a time when even the best kid makes a bad decision and then what do you do? And what do you do if your child seems naturally predisposed not to consider the consequences of their actions BEFORE taking said actions? And what if this predisposition is compounded by lack of sleep, hunger, or once medication has run it's daily course?

And then if your child does fall into that category - how much do you "forgive" on account of his/her less-developed abilities? Allison seemed truly remorseful for her actions after the fact. She wrote Jacob a note to say that she was sorry. Mom and Dad decided to have her pay for what needed to be replaced ($61 - not wholely accurate assessment, but Jacob was content with it), of which she had $36 in her piggy bank (that she was saving for Bop It) and the remaining $25 she is working off at $5 per hour with chores around the house.

All the parenting "advice" recommends a consequence that allows the kids to take responsibility and make amends for their mistakes. Allison can't have any friends over or play with the neighbors until she's finished her 5 hours and paid off her debt. She did 20 minutes of window washing today. At this rate, it might take a while.

I wish it were still as simple as a 5 minute time out. Time outs were straight forward. This is a chore.

Sleepover

Allison had her first sleepover at our house last night. The girls decided to give a fashion show about 8:45pm (pic below).



The biggest challenge was keeping Jacob away from the girls, as he was desperate to be included in whatever they did. We finally ended up letting him go to sleep in our room (and then moved him to his room later).

Allison and her friend have been having lots of fun, though. They watched a Barbie movie, had the above-mentioned fashion show, decided to glue mosaic tiles to something in the dark (slightly messy), played "tricks" on Jacob, and sang songs late into the night. We did finally separate them to go to sleep (as Allison was super amped-up and finally fell asleep at 11:30, about an hour after her friend did) and then put them back in the same room later. I felt a little bad, but she otherwise would have kept the both of them up well past midnight.

This morning they have been playing and hiding from Jacob. In an odd way - exclusion is also inclusion - since the simple act of avoiding him makes him part of the fun.