Jacob's Piano Recital

He wasn't too thrilled, but Jacob had a piano recital today.  He played two songs, and here's the first one.  The second was a duet with his teacher.

I hoped seeing the older kids playing their advanced pieces might sway his decision to quit piano at the end of the school year; or seeing some kids he knew (at least 4 kids were there from the neighborhood) might increase his interest.  He thought about it, and then said that piano was still down on his list of things he wanted to stick with.  So - this may be the last piano recital. 

JC Our L&S

Most people know that we are not a particularly religious family.  I don't really want to go into it here, but let's just say we sum it up like the facebook relationship status "it's complicated."

To that end, we don't pass along any particular beliefs to the kids, nor say too much about the pros and cons of other people's religions - which around us range from lapsed Catholic, to Catholic, to normal Lutheran, to crazy Lutheran.  So we've basically relegated our children's religious education to their peers.  Thumbs up.  I hope it works this well with sex ed too.

So, over the weekend Allison had to write an opinion essay titled "Why Christmas is My Favorite Holiday."  We actually had a big hurdle to pass over first because Allison insisted she could not write the essay because Christmas was NOT her favorite holiday.  I actually think she was just trying to get out of the assignment.  So, we changed it slightly to be titled "Why Christmas is My Third Favorite Holiday."

It was a standard five paragraph essay and we tackled the three middle paragraphs first.  Topic 1 - Santa.  Topic 2 - Giving gifts.  Topic 3 - Seeing family.  Then we circled back to the introduction and conclusion paragraphs.

Other than the fact that 5 paragraph writing assignments make me want to bang my head against the wall - it was going OK.  We did have three topics, sentences almost all related to those topics in paragraph form, and all related to things Allison likes about Christmas.  And all completely.... secular.

So - imagine my surprise - when Allison insisted on the following as her lead-in introductory essay sentence:

"I love Christmas because it is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior."

Uh..... OK.  Well, technically, it's true.  That is, in fact, the definition of Christmas.  How it came to be that Allison insisted on it as the first sentence of her essay, I'll have to blame on the fact that she stole my Christmas piano book to play sing-along the other week.  So, teachers, have fun with that one.

Things that should never be

I'm taking this blog in a new direction.  What direction?  Toward the scrotum. 

This is our cat, Wiley:

She has a large belly that hangs down and waddles when she runs, and when she walks.  She also has mites that will not go away and some as-yet-undiagnosed bladder condition.  She's the $2000 shelter kitty.  Also - her belly looks like a scrotum when viewed from behind.

Yep.  I took that picture.  It was NOT an easy picture to take. Now I've officially typed scrotum several times in this blog post.  Success!

Now I'm going back to work because I'm drowning in work. I promise the blog will only go up from here.  How do I know that?  Well, you know I'm never going to post anything about feet. 

More vacation posts coming sometime!

Punctuating the vacation posts to let you know that Allison's echocardiogram was mostly normal. 

You may be thinking: Wait - Allison had a echocardiogram?  I had no idea! 

And you'd be right, because I didn't really mention it to anyone, because we didn't really know anything was wrong and it sounds super scary to have a heart test and the doctor didn't really think it was a big deal - but still he ordered a test.  So, clearly, there could be something wrong.


So, the story goes like this: Allison has to go into the doctor's office every 6 months for a med-check because she's on ADHD medications.  We have not changed her ADHD medications in .... 3 years maybe?  But we go in anyway because they are controlled substances.  All was well, though it's increasingly awkward to talk about your child's problems in a room containing your child.  This was easier when she was 5 and relatively clueless.  Or 8 when I could talk about her and use language that made it seem like I wasn't talking about her.  Anyway.... none of those problems will be solved with ADHD medications - so perhaps it's neither here nor there.

So the doctor checked her heart - and heard "something" with the valves not being quite in sync.  He had not heard it before and thought it would be good to have it tested.  He was not like "oooo - we must have this test tomorrow," which was good because "tomorrow" we were leaving for Europe.  I assumed he wanted to test it because ADHD medications have cardiovascular effects; but I did ask if this would have been "caused" by the medications and he said No.

So, off we went on vacation with instructions to schedule it when we returned.  Then I threw it into the category of heart murmur, though I don't really know what that it and the doctor didn't say that.  He knew more than I did because I was wrong.  But lots of people have heart murmurs, so there's context there.

So, I feel like I should start this paragraph off with the word "so."

The test was last Thursday, and it took about an hour+ with this very nice guy and a student observer.  Allison did well through about the first 30-40 minutes and then the rest of the time she spent asking how much longer it was going to be.  I asked the technician if he found whatever it was they were looking for and he said yes, that it was not a heart murmur (which is apparently not a general term for weird heartbeats), but that we should not worry too much, but wait for the report - the cardiologist may or may not think it's a thing.

So, (back to it) when the doctor actually called me the next day, I was initially a little freaked out.  He called!  But what it is is a valve (the mitral valve - I think I have that right) that separates the two left side chambers of her heart is "flat."  Honestly, I don't know what it normally is, but I guess not "flat."  This is not a problem as long as it doesn't prolapse, which means it becomes a door that swings both ways rather than a door that swings only one way.  This was what he was hearing during the med check.

The cardiologist recommends another echocardiogram in 2-3 years to see if there are any changes as she grows.  I find comfort in the long time frame for a recheck - it's not like, come back soon.  Also, between checkups, med checks, visits to the endochrinologist - she has medical professionals listening to her heart about every 3 months. 

So that's that.  More vacation pics to follow!

Vacation Photos - Day 3-5 (Paris)

 Day three we started at Notre Dame, where they were starting services and welcoming "especially those of you who may be from Sweden."

Afterwards we walked to a park, which had a pretty awesome playground (even if you did have to pay to get in).  Jacob loved the zip-line track.

And everyone loved looking for fish and watching the sailboats in the pond.

 We took a long walk to find this kid-friendly bar / disco / store of curiosity.  It did give the older boys opportunity to use a urinal in public.

Day 4 was the last full day in Paris - and we began the day at the top of the Eiffel Tower.  We were a little concerned because as soon as we stepped off the first elevator, an alarm started to sound that said something to the effect of "there has been a security breach. The site is now closed to the public.  Please make your way to the nearest exit."  However, the workers didn't seem at all perplexed, so we got on the next elevator and went up to the top.  :)

Once we were back on the ground, we visited the Arc de Triomphe and walked down the des Champs-Elysees.  There were a lot of cool car stores and Jacob sat in every car that was permitted to sit in.

We ended up at a park with in-ground trampolines!

Before finishing at the Louvre, where we threatened the kids that they had to go in and have their picture taken with every piece of artwork before we'd take them to dinner.  We actually had no plans to go inside since the adults had all seen the Mona Lisa before.

Day 5 - we packed up our stuff and loaded onto the train to Poitiers.

Vacation Pics - Part 1 (day 1 - day 2)

In an attempt to curate the 2000 pictures we took, I'll give the highlights and overview:

Day 1 - arrival.  Schlep bags across Paris to the hotel / guest house.  Then go see the Eiffel Tower because... well.... you have to!

Day 2 - Get up (late) and go to the Museum of Industrial Design (ok - that's my translation).  But it was really cool.

 The Museum is perhaps most famous for housing the original Foucault's Pendulum.  However, that one fell and broke a few years ago and so I believe this was a replica.  Still cool.

Then we met up with our friends:

And all visited the Sacre Coeur:

Where we climbed over 300 stairs (mostly in a very tight spiral), but some straight to get to the top

 To have a nice (albeit slightly foggy) view of Paris:

The things they like

I started cleaning up the basement today.  Since the TV broke last year... I haven't been going down there much except to make a run to the beer shelves and to change the litter box.

But cleaning almost anywhere in the house puts my mind into "do I really need this s**t?" mode, and when dealing with the kids stuff it's way easier to say No than when I'm dealing with my own stuff.  I've had my stuff forever!  These kids... they've only had this toy for 5 years!

Not the point of my post, though... what really struck me today was sometimes how bad I was at meeting the kids where they are.  I have a basement full of reminders that my kids are the people they are and they like the things that they like.  They are not the mini-me's maybe sometimes I imagined they would be.  Perhaps this has taken me way too long to figure out.  OTOH, at least I'm coming to terms with it.

Example #1 - Jacob is not a big fan of Lego.  This is glaringly evident by the three unopened Lego kits sitting on the table in the basement.  I think this one is particularly painful because Brian and I both like Lego's and waited patiently until he was the "right" age to dive right into Lego-making.  And while Jacob does like a few elements of Lego (one - the architecture kits that he collects in his room; and two - playing with the Star Wars ships and Lego people once they have been dutifully built by his parents and friends), he doesn't like to sit and follow the directions to assemble them.  So, we've quit buying him new kits (except the buildings.... if anyone needs a Christmas gift idea for him, apparently there is now an Eiffel Tower) and I've let go of the mental image of us sitting around the dining room table together at night, assembling Lego kits as quality family time (which sounds a little corny except that this image really did begin to form during the countless mind-numbing hours spent pushing Thomas trains around in a circle and I would comfort myself knowing that someday we would progress to Lego.  Sigh).

Example #2 - Allison likes toys that are literally what they are supposed to be.  When Allison was younger we bought her a dollhouse.  This dollhouse is still in our basement.  We did a lot of dollhouse shopping and ended up with (what we thought was) a super-cool dollhouse made of wood with all kinds of sets that could fill the largely undecorated interior.  We were then stymied when she showed very little interest in playing with it... ever.  She liked dollhouses, she played with them elsewhere.  Why was she not playing with this one?  The answer has revealed itself over time, but boils down to the fact that she needs toys that are exactly that thing.  All the dollhouses she liked were the plastic ones with the stickers on the walls that looked like windows and the roof pre-molded to look like singles.  What we gave her had no walls and required a lot of mental imaging to play with... too much mental imaging it turns out.


I know we're not the only people who have kids with different interests than our own.  I also take comfort in knowing that this "hopeful shopping" is not limited to things that I buy the kids but also sometimes manifests itself in things we buy for ourselves (I'm looking at you - box of cross-stitch projects that looked so cool on the shelf).

So, it's not me sitting around and wanting the kids to be different people than they are.  It's me sitting around befuddled by the fact that they don't like the things I like.  And the net result is that the basement has come to house the toys that I'd thought the children would enjoy and the toys that I still hold onto with the (fading) hope that someday they will.

Back to School Shopping

Back from vacation and there are Things To Do to get ready for school.  Granted, we don't go back until September (what feels like the latest school start date EVER), but still the school supplies are starting to look picked over at Target. 

Plus, I actually need the kids to go with me to shop for clothing now because I can no longer guess their styles and/or sizes.  This is a little tricky with Allison because I don't want her ENTIRE closet to be filled with Monster High apparel (which is almost all she picks).  So, I've spent more than a little time browsing online for that ven-diagram intersection sweet spot of Knit Dresses : Size 8-10 : Style Appropriate for 6th Grade. 

Interestingly, some of the best finds are those stores that I've typically avoided because they sell clothes that make 7 year olds look like 14 year olds (why do we push them to grow up so fast??).... but when you have a 11 year old who is the SIZE of a 7 year old.... this suddenly becomes a viable shopping destination.  The other good finds are the "classic" stores - places like Gap and Lands End.

This is also about the time of year when I do the School Supply Rant.  This year's search involved an 8-pocket, polyvinyl organizer, non-accordian style.  WTH is that?  I had to google it, which led me to Office Max - incidentally NOT the cheapest place to buy school supplies.  So we're swimming in scissors, markers, colored pencils, glue sticks, and wide-ruled notebooks.  We've managed to get almost everything in just two trips... the few missing items occupying very specific requirements: "red, 3 subject, wide-ruled notebook."  Time to get on Amazon.

I also ended up in a conversation the other day with someone who had relatives buy school supplies for her children because the cost was so high, but they didn't qualify for any of the free backpack programs.  Which also led me to think about the free supplies and how does that program know that your kid needs an 8-pocket polyvinyl organizer?  Suddenly, I was grateful that my headaches of school supply shopping was limited to *finding* the items and not *affording* the items or sending my children to face the embarrassment of not having any school supplies or having the wrong school supplies.

The way we do school supplies is so wasteful.  Schools and teachers don't have supplies or money to buy supplies - so they create these long lists with everything your child might need for the year - plus a little more. (Ask a teacher how successful it is to request supplies in the MIDDLE of the year, it's better to be proactive at the beginning).  Many of the supplies return home at the end of the year - hardly used but enough lost pieces that it becomes difficult to recycle them into another school year.  (8 rainbow colored markers become 6 markers where three are blue - someone, somewhere has a wicked collection of black markers). And few things irritate me more than notebooks that come home at the end of year with 10 of 70 pages written on.  Either there was a more efficient and less wasteful way to do that work - or - my child was supposed to do something on the other 60 pages that he/she never did. 

Then we're also asked to supply the classroom with things like dry-erase markers.  I don't actually mind doing this, but I can't help thinking that the school could get them cheaper in bulk than parents can get them 3 at a time from CVS. 

Which leads me to the final point about school supply shopping - items are NEVER packaged in the quantity that you need.  3 packets of Post-its?  You can choose 1 or 4.  Incidentally, buying 4 is often the same price as buying the three individual packs you need. Then you debate "well, this is a better deal.... but then what do I do with the extra?"  Pre-sharpened pencils only come in packs of 18.  If you want the 24 pack - you'll sharpen your own. 

Tax Dodgers

I went to use some Kohl's "cash" yesterday (which is a huge scam, but that's another post for another day), but ended up with a $2 balance.  I decided I could pay the $2 with cash, rather than using the credit card.  We've had a pro-credit card philosophy for years which includes charging whenever possible; never carrying a balance; and reaping the benefits of whatever bonus plan our credit card uses.  This is why we own a lot of Sony products and I never know where the checkbook is.  Also, not carrying cash means I'm less tempted to buy things like.... say.... a mocha at Starbucks.

But increasingly, I'm visiting the ATM for cash.  Summer is farm market season; and many stalls don't take plastic.  So, that's a big money sink each week.  Then there are babysitters.  This weekend we had a sitter last night and another this afternoon.  It will probably total 12 hours of babysitting (which is a little unusual, but the kids can now stay home for short periods on their own - the only time we get sitters is when we'll be out late or gone long.... which equals more $$).

And finally, there are the tax dodgers.  Our cleaning lady prefers to be paid in cash because "if she deposits too many checks in one month, she has to pay a fee" which may in fact be true; but I don't think it's the primary reason she wants cash.  In September, Jacob will switch to another new piano teacher (current one opted not to renew lease on her studio) who prefers payment in cash as well.

If I had a better plan; I'd get all the necessary cash once a month and then divvy it up in envelopes so that it stayed out of my wallet and therefore out of Starbucks coffers.  But I don't have that much forethought, and so it's back to the ATM.

A follow up to Tuesday's post...

Jacob's team did win their game last night.  He had another good game; 4 for 4 (he says he hit the first pitch each time.... Brian and I don't recall but I think he's right), 3 singles and a triple.

So they got a spot in the tournament and next week they play until they lose, starting Monday.  So - good luck to them!

We did spend yesterday afternoon at the pool with a gaggle of children.  My friend was in charge of her children plus their cousins from Connecticut, Finland, and Italy.  It meant that there was always someone who wanted to share a tube on the waterslide. Plus, it was a little cooler, so the pool was not crowded at all.

Way to go Jacob!

I have pictures - but in this fading light it's best that I not try to transfer them to computer and end up with a camera memory card in the DVD slot..... again.

Jacob had a great baseball game tonight to start off the pool play week to make the city tournament.  He was 3 for 3 (all doubles) with a total of 4 RBI's.  He also made a double play to end the game by catching a pop fly then tagging 2nd base (the runner had taken off).

Tomorrow they play a much tougher opponent.  That team won their first pool play game 20-1.  Jacob's team did beat the team they play tomorrow in the regular season, but only by 1 run, and there were more than enough close calls / missed calls / narrow escapes that the game could have gone either way.  So.... let's hope Jacob has as good a game tomorrow as he had tonight. 

Of course, we're spending the afternoon at the swimming pool with friends so..... probably not.  lol.

I will say (again) that I'm very happy that we played Jacob in the machine pitch league again this year.  What's kindof cool is that there is nothing particularly remarkable about their team.  They have one "really good" all-around player.  But most of the kids are just.... pretty good.  They've learned to play together as a team.  They've learned how to back up plays and who to throw to.  They've learned how to hit the ball relatively consistently.  They've been coached well by coaches who are also very good but also not outstanding. 

Last year's team was filled with "superstars" who thought they were better than everyone else out there.  Superstars who never got better because they never learned to play together.  Well, they had no practices once the season started in May - so most of them didn't learn anything.  The grapevine (facebook) indicates that more than one of those kids is now ready to quit baseball because they weren't "good" this year.

Jacob's team this year is definitely better than the sum of its parts.  I hope they make it into the tournament, even if their chances of 'winning it all' might be slim.  But even if tomorrow is the end of the road; I'm still really glad this was the season he had. 

Idyllic Summer

So.  I clearly haven't posted in a month because I don't want to make you all jealous at how idyllic our summer is - just like everyone else's.

There's been fruit picking, swimming pools, sprinklers in the yard, and ice cream.  The children have been playing non-stop outside in the sun.... so tired from their 1970's-style fun that they go right to bed at the late hour of 8:30pm.  There have been crafts (Pinterest!), homemade baked goods, and I cannot believe that the children are getting along so well!

There have in no way been tears over mom's strict electonics policy. 

There has certainly not been a girl up at all hours of the night because she's tired of taking melatonin at bedtime.

The cat certainly doesn't smell like Hades due to the sulfur baths.

And if you happen to hear yelling outside the windows - trust me - it's not the kids yelling at each other or me yelling at them - it's this awesome new game we invented to make fun of all the "less idyllic" families out there.

And the USDA recently rewrote the food pyramid to make potato chips a food group, right?

Finally, thank goodness I have the summer "off."  Because there is absolutely no way I'm sitting in front of the computer for hours trying to meet totally arbitrary deadlines for course developments and papers required for tenure.

So there!  This summer rocks!  I knew you'd be jealous!

Last Day of School

 Last Day of School Pictures.  BTW - this was Jacob after he was told to "Look Normal"

Two competing titles..

Two competing titles for this post.

#1 - Making Sense of the Non-Sense
#2 - Why are we shooting for "Proficient"

So - you know it - report card season!

Any assessment for Allison you have to take with a grain of salt.  Good doesn't always mean good and bad sometimes just means she didn't feel like taking a test.  Even so, I think the system is screwy.  Heaven help the teacher whose evals or pay might depend on Allison's mood on testing day.

So - in perfect contradictory form - this is what Allison's report cards plus IEP teacher feedback plus standardized test scores indicate:

Reading:

IEP Feedback - She's made tons of progress in reading!  She advanced something like 5 levels (into the 5th grade reading range) and was integrated into the classroom book clubs.

Report card feedback - she became "partially proficient" in 12 of 15 areas.  The goal is proficient in all 15 areas.  The other 3 - "minimally proficient"

Standardized testing - she scored 3 points lower at the end of the year than she scored at the beginning.  three actual points, not three percentage points - she lost 18 percentage points relative to her peers.  Whoops.

Math:

IEP Feedback - She has made more progress working with the autism teacher and focusing on one or two ways to solve the problems rather than many ways to solve the problems.  She's making steady but not spectacular progress

Report card feedback - "Proficient" in 2/19 areas; "partially proficient" in 13/19 areas; "minimally proficient" in 4/19 areas (though all the minimals were in the math practices area - so things like communicating answers and being efficient).

Standardized testing - she scored 19 points higher at the end of the year - putting her at the 81st percentile.  (top 20%).

Summary:

She's "minimally proficient" in most areas of math but in the top 20th percentile for all 5th graders in the district.  Note - she hates math with a passion.

She gained more than 5 levels in her classroom reading index, and simultaneously became a significantly poorer reader of standardized tests.  But, she loves reading and does it endlessly.

So crazy.

The other things I learned from Allison's report card.... she does not like phys-ed, but all the other specialty areas were fine.

Canoeing addendum

Jacob is back from his canoe trip.  He had a great time.  Tipped the canoe once.  Was rescued by his friend Ian and his dad from the large rock that he'd run into (apparently the water was too deep to touch).  He used his $5 to buy exclusively candy - so he's on quite the sugar high.

Canoeing

Right now - as I type - Jacob is on a canoe trip with his school and I'm trying not to worry (too much).  It's true that either or Brian or I had the opportunity to go along as well, but ultimately Jacob's decision was "Nah, I'd rather canoe with my friends."

I might have influenced that decision with my lukewarm response when the field trip request came home.  (I always feel a bit put-upon at the end of the school year when the kids are taking field trips every other day intermixed with parents-need-to-help at school functions - and I have limited time to finish my work projects before the kids are home for good! - Did I mention my course redesign project and two research papers which are effectively going to be shelved at 3:04pm on Friday?)

Anyway, in hindsight, I should have been more enthusiastic because it's rained the last two days (a LOT) and I'm now convinced that the river is mighty and deadly beast that will eat up my novice canoe-er.  Okay, it's a little dramatic.  But how guilty would I feel if something were to happen?!

Sigh - this is a good thing.  One personal goal I have in 2014 is to let go a little bit with the kids. I'm not always going to be on the canoe trip with them.  If I don't give them a little room to make mistakes now, they won't know how to handle bigger mistakes later.  So.... I hope Jacob is enjoying the canoe trip.  It's a beautiful day.  I got 4 hours of work done.

It gets easier, right?

Waterslide! (Who needs the Dells?)

Time to stop time

Weird things about yesterday....

Allison's class watched the first of the puberty videos today.

She came home very unperturbed about it.  Anything exciting happen? No.  Did you watch a video?  Oh, yeah.

Then she used the word "totes."  As in - "That was totes awesome."  So, like many a parent before me ("rad," "bogus," "far out") I find myself questioning my child's use of the English language.  Is that a thing?  I think I saw an article the other day about Millennials and there was a joke about the work "totes."  I, of course, had never heard it before - or if I had heard it.... I did not know it was a Thing.

So, I think I would like to stop time now.  I'm not sure that I want hormonal, crazy teenagers.  I run into No One who says "yeah, those years from 12-18 - those were totally the best!"  I don't want to stop it indefinitely.... because at the end of the teen years you hopefully have kids who then go off to college and then their lives.  But, I like their ages right now, and I could keep right now a little bit longer.

Game Pictures

Just a couple pictures from the game last night.  It was such a nice day / evening that I skipped out on graduation and went to Jacob's baseball game.  They lost, but it was a good game.  I think they are 2-2 now.

Manufacture some indignation

It's Monday.  The Monday evening schedule looked like this:

Allison - Monkey Joe's 4:30-6:00
Jacob - Baseball 5:30-7:30
Jamie - Give Final Exam 7:00-9:00
Brian - Chicago

So my plan was to drop Allison off at Monkey Joe's.  Go home and get Jacob.  Take him to baseball.  Leave baseball to pick Allison up.  Take her back to baseball game where we would meet a very kindly babysitter with a driver's license.  Then leave them all at the game to go give my final and have the babysitter take them home.

This plan was derailed (as all good plans are) by the weather.  It rained.  From about 2:30pm onward.  I kept checking the e-mail SO SURE that the game would be cancelled.  No luck.  So I went through steps above all the way until I dropped Jacob off in the rain at the baseball game where there was no other team present.

Yeah, I'm thinking "they are so not having a game."  However, here's the conundrum.... if I leave to go get Allison and they call the game - I'm 15 minutes away with Jacob at the wet ball field by himself.  If I stay until they call the game - I'm late picking Allison up and then subsequently late to meet the babysitter and late to my final.  I should mention - too - that Monkey Joe's is about as far across town as you can get from our house and still be in Appleton.

So..... I found Jacob a ride home in the event of a cancellation - but not to our home because no one was there.  By the time I picked up Allison - started to drive back through town - got a txt saying the game was cancelled and picked Jacob up from Harrison's house..... the babysitter was waiting on our doorstep and I turned quickly around to go give my final.

I'm moderately annoyed at the coach who didn't call to check with the other coach that their team would be able to make it IN THE RAIN.  Also.... who plays baseball in the rain?  It's not soccer.

Oh well.  It all worked out in the end.  The Best Laid Plans.....

Bag lady

Should I preface this with a statement about the positive environmental impacts of reusable bags?  Right now, I don't know.  Actually (I had my students look into those ones from the grocery store one time) and they are made from non-woven plastic, so technically you are still using a lot of plastic.  They have a design life of two years at which point they will start to wear at the seams and the handles will break and I will throw them away, send them to the landfill where they will never break down because they are made of plastic.  Also, they are in a landfill, which is now so tightly sealed and controlled that an apple core probably doesn't break down in there.  But - I feel like an environmental crusader when I whip them out at the store and give an evil glare to the person in front of me who doesn't have reusable bags!

Actually, I don't do that.  But mostly it's because I don't even have my bags with me.  But when I do......

Bags seem to have become the branding item of choice.  For a while there I couldn't turn around without someone handing me a bag.  The hospital gave them out at the farmers market, the school gave them out, the kids would come home with them from various events.

And then - they started to appear with drawstrings.  The kids were doing all these fun runs and every fun run came with a drawstring bag.  Drawstring bags are the least. practical. bag. ever.  First, they are small.  I use them to tote the kids things to and from swimming lessons and they barely fit a thin towel and goggles.  And they are no good for books, given that it's necessary that the top compresses (thus eliminating more potential interior space.  And the strings are too short to use it as a backpack (plus I look like a super-dork with a mini drawstring bag on my back.)

I have gotten creative with the reuse of these bags.  Granted, there are two large grocery-style bags filled with other grocery bags that I occasionally use to take groceries home from the store.  I have a bag holding each of the kids swimming lesson stuff - a bag for extra baseballs - a bag for off-season soccer cleats - a bag for toys that the kids have lost as a consequence of doing something they weren't supposed to do with the toy.  I have bags for holding other bags - bags for taking things from the first floor to the second floor - for taking things from second floor to the first floor - for hiding things I don't have time to clean when people are coming over.  There is a piano book bag (three actually - weird given we have one kid taking piano lessons) - a bag for library books - a bag full of winter things that I'm still afraid to put away.  And these are the bags that are CURRENTLY IN USE.  I did a quick count of bags in the laundry room closet and came up with 47.  FORTY SEVEN.

Clearly I have a bag problem.  I must stop accepting free bags (but they are free!).

Baseball Begins! (and other random updates)

Jacob had his first baseball game yesterday.  They lost, but only by a couple points.  They looked a little nervous at the beginning, but came back to play stronger at the end.  Jacob hit at all his at-bats, but was thrown out in one inning.  He got to play a variety of positions, and apparently had a couple nice plays at first base (I didn't see because I had to go teach my night class).

I signed Allison up for this new social skills "class" that they were offering in the area.  It meets on Monday nights too and yesterday they went to the library.  She seems to really be enjoying it.  Since we usually have therapy on Monday nights, I had dropped to only one night a week.  Then with busy Thursdays now too I got the OK to "take a break" from therapy for May.  So, our schedule is therapist free until June!  Then in June I worked it out for the therapist go with her to Boys and Girls Club rather than have therapy at home.  Yay!

School is winding down for the kids.  The 6th graders go on a camping trip next week, which means the 5th graders (all are 5/6 split classes) do a lot of other fun stuff like golf lessons.  I signed a crap-ton of permission slips last week for Allison and Jacob.  Plus, there are all these requests for parent helpers the last 3-4 weeks of school.  I'm always torn between "well, I AM free once the semester is over" and "these are the two weeks I have between my semester and when I get to (have to) be home with them ALL SUMMER."  So, I usually don't sign up.  This is why I never have anyone to talk to when I go to elementary school functions....

And - school is winding down for me!  Classes go until next Wednesday and then finals are after that.  I am behind on my grading and should probably be grading and not typing on the blog.  Unfortunately, I also agreed to redo this online class which must be done by June 30th.  So, I actually have work to fill in at the beginning of summer.  Apparently, something is wrong with me that I would propose and agree to this.

I tested cheese!

Allison has become a much better conduit of information between home and school.  She says "hey, there's a pajama day tomorrow" and there is a pajama day tomorrow!  This is pretty awesome and cool to be able to rely on her for more information rather than needing to communicate as much with her teachers.

However, we did have the following conversation in the car today.  And if you can summarize the cheese experience in a way that makes sense to me - I'll give you the gold star.

A: "Tomorrow, I get to taste-test cheese!"
M: "Really, why?"
A: "I don't get enough dairy"
M: "uh...."
A: "I tested three cheeses yesterday"
M: "Really, why?"
A: "I don't get enough dairy"

M: "Did you like the cheese?"
A: "yes, I tested three, the first was eh, the second was OK, but the third was good"
Jacob intervened: "was it mozzarella?"
A: "No, it was Monster-something"

Me: "Did everyone test the cheese?"
A: "No, Jenna had stickers"
M: "What?"
A: "Yesterday was Jenna, and tomorrow is..... Alyssa!  Jenna asked me, and I said yes"

M: "Why did you have cheese?"
A: "I don't know"
M: "But you get more cheese tomorrow?"
A: "Yes!"

First Free Friday in Forever?

This was the first weekend without an indoor soccer game in.... well.... a really long time.  Soccer wrapped up last week and Jacob's baseball games start next Saturday.  It's a brief interlude.

I took my camera last week to the game, but due to the fast-paced nature of indoor soccer and the very small section of wall without plexiglass/net, I did not really get any good pictures.

I did take advantage of the free Friday by going out with some women from work for wine.  I even finagled a ride, which meant I got to drink two glasses!  I know - I live right out there on the edge!

Starts so young.....

Well, I know Allison isn't involved because she has neither a phone nor accounts at any social media sites.  However - I always worry that she'll still end up the victim of cyberbullying or whatever else kids might do today.  I do not know what the problem below is; and Allison also did not know.  We did have a discussion in the car this morning about how the kids should not post anything online that they wouldn't feel comfortable saying to that person face-to-face.  I don't know if that's a good rule, but it seems a good enough place to start.  I think the problem sometimes with kids and social media stems from the ability to do things anonymously or "removed" from the effects of their actions.  Humans (and especially kids) are not good at judging the "rightness" of actions when the consequences are at some indeterminate time in the future.  If we were - I would totally have not had that second handful of Easter candy. 

The other issue is how does a parent "monitor" their kids' social media.  Jacob, for example, has started playing Clash of Clans, which is an open social gaming app.  Brian also downloaded the app and joined Jacob's clan.  Right now, Jacob thinks that's pretty cool and Brian gets to monitor the other people who join Jacob's clan (which I think is awesome and totally appropriate at his age).  But there will be a day when the kids don't want to "friend" mom and dad and/or get savvy enough to block mom and dad from seeing the content.  And I don't think that's necessarily bad.  I mean - I wouldn't have wanted my parents listening in on every phone call I made when I was in middle school. 

But the list of cyber rules is long and the kids don't always understand why the rules are important (and thus, I think, less likely to take them seriously or follow them).  Rules we've already shared with Jacob:

1) never use your real name

2) never tell anyone your age, address, or other personal information

3) tell an adult if someone starts asking you questions you think are creepy

4) don't put anything online you wouldn't say to someone's face

Their questions continue, though, and I don't have good answers.

A) can I leave comments on a you tube video (apparently Allison does this, if you ever see that Brian "liked" a Monster High video, it's because Allison is logged in through Brian's You Tube account.... or he likes Monster High).

B) but so-and-so will send me a free ______ if I like their page and write a comment

C) I want to follow ______ on Twitter to get good seeds for Minecraft

We're stuck teaching our kids to socialize in real life and also in this ever-changing online world.  And as much as I'd like to stick my head in the sand, I know there will be a time soon when the majority of their friends have accounts on website xyz and they will want an account on website xyz.  

Anyway my long-winded writing today is all in response to this letter we (and all 5/6 parents at the school) got yesterday (some names removed):

Dear Parents,

It has been brought to our attention through many different sources that our 5^th and 6^th grade students at our school are using social media sites in unkind and inappropriate ways. Due to the nature of what has been brought to our attention, we feel strongly that as parents and teachers we need to be fully aware of the activities and sites that many of our children are using on a regular basis. We have asked our police liaison officer to come speak to our students on Friday about the seriousness of their activities on these social network sites. Officer _____ is more than willing to have a parent meeting as well to help you become more informed and knowledgeable about how you can help as a parent.

The sunk cost fallacy

So, I've been teaching economics.  This is a bit funny because I hated economics in college and skipped it more than any other class (except maybe that one physics class).  It didn't help that the class was something like 1000 people taught in that auditorium building on the quad.  The memories are hazy, the subject never made sense to me, and I still can't properly draw a supply and demand curve.  None-the-less, a group of engineering students are being subjected to my explanations of how economics applies to engineering on a weekly basis.  Because I have a PhD - that's why.

This has not been a good semester to be teaching a new class.  Conferences, search committees, death.... let's just say I bored MYSELF in class last night because I haven't had the time to prepare as much as I'd like to.  But in light of the challenging year, I've been thinking more about something I talk about in the economics class - Sunk Costs.

Sunk Costs (for anyone who remembers as much of their college economics classes as I do) are those expenses in the past.  No matter what the present circumstance, you cannot change the past costs.  They are paid.  End of Story.  Your best move is to consider the current circumstances and make the best decisions regarding the future.

Simple.

Except it's not.

Have you ever eaten the food on your plate because otherwise it would go to waste, only to end up feeling slightly ill after the meal and your feelings about the experience significantly lower than they would have been if you would have just quit eating when you were full?  (sunk costs)  Have you ever held onto a pair of pants that you've never worn because there is something wrong with them that you didn't realize until you brought them home and now you can't take them back but every time you look at them hanging in the closet you are reminded that you spent money on something you've never used?  (sunk costs)

So - why am I hanging on to "stuff" that I don't use, probably won't use, and if I ever do decide to use will be obsolete?  Wouldn't I be happier with less stuff to see, clean, and move around the house in laundry baskets masquerading as boxes?  Why do we continue to do therapy with Allison, even though we don't think it's going well?  Because we've invested so much time in it.  Does that invested time make the the next session go better?  No.  "You can't quit piano, you've done it for 5 years."  So what? - if you aren't going to enjoy the next year, could your time be better spent elsewhere?  And Candy Crush - need I say more?

We value a certain amount of stick-to-it-ivness.  And I don't think that's bad if the end payoff will be positive.  Yes, keep the backpacking equipment that you haven't used for 4 years if you anticipate using it for an awesome trip in a few years when the kids are older.  But if you don't like rollerblading - don't hang on to them just because they were expensive in the first place.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter Sunday!  The kids were excited to get up this morning and discover baskets filled with sidewalk chalk and eggs hidden around the downstairs.

We were late with the egg dying, so we also did that this morning.  Note that the egg dyes are in coffee cups.  I'm just saying that there might have been a moment where the coffee mug filled with egg dye was confused with the coffee mug filled with coffee.....

(also, check out Allison's new glasses that she LOVES).

After the egg dying and showers, we headed out to brunch at the Kangaroost - one of our favorite local restaurants and home of awesome brunches.

It's been low-key, but nice.

Oh yeah - the cat!

So, we got a cat!  Actually, we got her a few weeks ago, but I'm just writing about it now.  Funny story, actually...

I had decided that I wanted a cat.  The kids were totally on board with this plan.  I think Brian was more-or-less indifferent and maybe skewing a little towards "really????"  But I had some very specific requirements for a new addition to the household.  

1) must be declawed.

2) must be friendly.

3) must not be a kitten (kittens are a crap-shoot for personality later on).

So, I started with a local no-kill cat shelter.  I took the kids one evening and we met two very nice kitties.  I had to fill out some reference check paperwork to actually go in a pet the cats, but all was well.  Allison's favorite was (of course) the 20 pound FIV positive 13 year old cat.  Uh - no.  

So, then we went BACK to the cat shelter with Brian that weekend.  The kids were - shall we say - excited.  And I got the impression that our choice to have a declawed cat was somewhat frowned upon.  I don't know why - we wanted a cat that was already declawed - we weren't going to have it done to an undeclawed cat.

Well, a few days later I got an e-mail from the shelter saying that they didn't think the cats we were considering would be a good fit in our household.  They discussed our situation with the adoption counselors (?) and could not guarantee the safety of a declawed cat in our home.  Read-Between-The-Lines = The-Kids-Were-Too-Excitable and the cat would have no way to defend itself against the onslaught of attention.  Clearly, a double-income, cat-experienced, well-educated household with children who will love an animal and have no other pets to compete with is a terrible, terrible place for a cat!  I totally agree!  I mean - look at the horror!!!

So, next stop - Oshkosh Humane Society.  Allison and I stopped there on my birthday on our way home from Madison.  We met several nice kitties, but none really that I got super excited about.  So, I went on Thursday to the Appleton Humane Society and met two very cute cats: Riley, who was Superfriendly, white, and shed like crazy, and Kitty Gaga, who was a little less friendly, but also considerably less sheddy.

The kids had a half day the next day so I took them to meet the two cats.  The kids voted Kitty Gaga.  I figured there would also be an application, reference check, etc there too - but the lady was basically like "sure, when do you want to take her home!" and I was like....... uh, tomorrow?

The only problem with "tomorrow" was that we had NO cat stuff and I had to teach all day, which meant that I needed to send Brian to pick up the cat.  Brian, who had not met and/or exactly agreed to the bringing home of said cat.  (I was relaying this story to a friend who then said I was no longer in the running for wife-of-the-year. The fact that she thought I might have at some point been in the running was sweet to begin with).

So, Allison and I went to pick up a bunch of cat supplies, and then Brian and the kids went to pick up the cat.  Then I left for NC for most of the next week.  Yep!  I rock!

So - here she is:  Kitty Gaga.  She needs a new name, however as time passes the hurdle of getting a new name is getting larger.  The options are this: Frankie, Wiley, Kitty, and Sky.  We've eliminated Sky from the running. Feel free to cast your vote in the comments.  She likes armrests, belly rubs, and sleeping on our heads.  And yes - she looks EXACTLY like our last cat.  That was not the plan.

My new newsletter

I would like to start an alumni newsletter that features "People who just do regular stuff."

It will feature people who are teachers, nurses, doctors, engineers, stay-at-home moms, farmers, writers, business administrators, or whatever else does not include founding a world-famous technology company or finding the gene that causes cancer.

It will praise our annual $50 contributions to the scholarship fund.

It'll discuss how we "started" training for that triathlon we got pressured into signing up for by that one woman who always has time for everything.

And we'll cop to the fact that the volunteering we do is really just helping our kids go door-to-door to raise money for the endless list of crap our kids need to raise money for.

Yes, this will be my alumni newsletter..... for the other 95%.

In Memoriam

Even though I didn't ask (what child does?)..... today I'm not sharing my own words, but my Dad's:

Eulogy for Jeanne – April 2, 2014

I am sure DiDi (Minister present) has said many times, the Lord does not give you more burden than you can carry – but He does push the limit!  On behalf of Jeanne’s family, we want to thank you for the love, hugs, stories, support, and food you have given us.  More importantly, on behalf of Jeanne’s family, we wish to thank you for the love and support you provided Jeanne over the years.

Do you believe in fairy tales?

On June 7, 1968, a little princess named Jeanne was born in Fremont, Michigan.  Fremont is the home of Gerber Baby Food – what a great place to begin life.  She had two parents who loved her very much.  They watched her grow into a little girl who enjoyed fairy tales – listening to Snow White, Cinderella, and Humpty Dumpty.  Everything was good and right.

Those two parents and a loving aunt and uncle got up one cold November morning to stand outside for hours to help Santa buy a Cabbage Patch doll so a little girl would not be disappointed with Christmas and everything would be good and right.  If only life could remain so simple, we would stand out in the cold for days to make everything good and right.

The little girl was joined by two sisters and grew to be a teen.  Like her sisters, she was pretty, smart, and popular.  In high school she was Homecoming Queen, President of the Senior Class, and graduated near the top of her class to go on to complete a rigorous college degree in Engineering.

When the teen grew into a woman, her family expanded to include a step mother and two step sisters. Jeanne became a mother, bearing two sons who are handsome and smart.  She loved them very much and she was loved very much by her parents, sisters, and family. Everything was good and right.

But like Humpty Dumpty she had a great fall.  All the kings’ horses and all the king’s men could not put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

So, as with ourselves, let’s draw her faults in the sand and chisel her virtues in stone.  This woman’s stone will contain a very long list of virtues.   Yes, we still believe in fairy tales.

Parents are not supposed to lose children, but we have gained some solace from the Serenity Prayer:

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Grant me patience with the changes that take time, an appreciation for all that I have, tolerance for those with different struggles, and the strength to get up and try again, one day at a time.

When the conversation turns to...

Ha - this is not a post for or about the kids.  It's just a humorous thing that happened to me the other day.  Well, more like a humorous thing that happened in my presence.  I'll take out the specifics but here's the gist...

So, let's say your company was hiring a new employee and you are one of the people who is reviewing and interviewing candidates.  Each candidate is brought in for a day long on-site interview that includes a tour, meetings with various people, a presentation, and a lunch.  That lunch (by the way) takes place at an awesome restaurant with awesome food.

Well, let's say one of the other people on the interview team is young and energetic; quite fun and a good person to make a potential candidate feel at home.  We'll say that person is - oh - an expert in women's issues.  Near the end of the lunch for the final candidate, it's revealed that this person is giving a lecture on the role of technology in women's lives throughout history - has it been a good thing, a bad thing, or neither?

The job candidate innocently asks - "well, which is it?" and the team member says that the audience will really need to draw their own conclusions; but there will be many examples.  Things like.... clothes dryers, microwaves, and "since we are done eating" - vibrators.

Let's say this launches a lengthy tale of the history of the vibrator - from medical device to sex toy (the 1920's and the advent of distributed porn caused that shift - and vibrators went "underground" so-to-speak).

OMG - awkward much?  Illegal?  I don't know!  I mean, you can't ask a job candidate if they are married but you can give them a history of a vibrator!  Hopefully - this candidate is not on twitter because if it had been me - I would totally have tweeted that #crazysexinterview.

We Skied - mostly

I have not posted about our ski trip....  So I'll do that now, as I've been too busy to make coherent thoughts about anything profound.

What can I say about skiing??  Oh yeah - it sucks to get an announcement over the loudspeaker that you have to return to ski school for your child.  Because, clearly, that means something like a serious accident has occurred.

But - Let me back up.

We went skiing the other weekend with some friends of ours who have slightly older kids, but are not skiers.  We signed Allison and Jacob up for ski lessons because it buys Brian and I two hours to go ski on our own, which is just about as much time as we need to hit most of the runs we want to.

So, we dropped the kids off in lessons at 10am.  We went clear to the other side of the ski resort to then started working our way, run-by-run, back to the ski school area.  This was pretty good for about the first 45 minutes.  Then my phone rang.  We thought it was Dad (who is recovering from his own run-in with a ski hill).  It was a local number.  I tried to answer it but my phone died..... too cold.

So, we deduced that it was the ski school and with no other info - we set off to return to the ski area as quickly as possible (including a foray through the trees that Brian later termed "ill-advised").  Clearly there was a crisis!

We ended up back at the base and decided that the ski school office was closer than the yurt (where they meet), so we went there right when our names were being called over the loudspeaker (across the whole ski resort).  We said they were looking for us at which point the girl said she didn't have any info, but we were supposed to head to the yurt.  Our child was refusing to participate in lessons.

Allison.

So, we showed up at the yurt to find Allison sitting at one of the tables, with no one but a ski instructor and two other girls in there that were clearly not affiliated with her.  He had no idea what had happened, except that they were severely understaffed as a bunch of instructors had called in sick and so they had broken the kids down by skill rather than age.  This - I guess - led to two problems.

(1) Allison had been required to ride the lift.

(2) She had been separated from her slightly-more-skilled brother.

At this point I left - because my ski binding had broken and (since there was no major crisis) I went to see if the rental shop could repair it (yes).  When I returned, Brian and Allison were still sitting there.  Allison's class had apparently returned to the yurt, but the instructor with them had no interest in re-introducing Allison to the group.  There was still one hour of lesson left.

So, we cut our losses and forced Allison to ski with us for the remainder of the morning.  That was when Brian took this picture:

She was entirely comfortable with the bunny area and magic carpet.  Which is also where the rest of her lesson group ended up.

After lunch, Allison was allowed to quit skiing and she and I went back to the hotel while Brian and Jacob skied the rest of the day - spending it entirely in the terrain park and on the "fun boxes."

Jacob is a big fan of skiing and can't wait to switch to snowboard.  Heaven help us.

On Sunday, Jacob and I returned to the ski hill for another morning of skiing.  I convinced him to go all the way to top of the hill (it was not crowded Sunday on account of it being about 10 degrees).

He skied the blue runs (snowplow all the way!) and then did it again.  Glad at least one of the kids enjoys skiing.  Next year, we'll have to ship Allison to Grandma and Grandpa's house for our ski weekend!

Piano recital

It has been a crazy-busy weekend here, including Jacob's piano recital debut.  He calls it "his worst performance ever."  I argued that since it was his first recital, that made it also his best performance ever.  He did not buy my argument.  I guess he played a song for his class without any mistakes.

To be fair, he handled his mistake well and finished the piece.  There were also A LOT of other kids making mistakes too.  Here's the video: